Broken yet fully loved

We are far more ¹broken than we are willing to admit but also far more loved than we can ever imagine or hope for - or are usually willing to believe.

Why do we struggle to believe that we are both broken and fully loved at the same time?

We fear if someone knew ²all our faults they would reject us and no longer love us. Why? Because admitting to or being seen with all our flaws usually results in rejection. 

We so greatly long to be fully and deeply loved, we fear ³losing it if we ever find it. We believe it's better to never be loved than to powerfully experience love and lose it.

The more we know we are loved - regardless of our flaws - the more we can admit ("own") them - not only to the one who loves us but to ourselves as well. 

Why does love free us? We are no longer concerned that admitting our brokenness will result in rejection. We know we are loved regardless of how broken we are. 

Love is the fuel of growth and change. Why?

Admitting our faults to ourselves and others is vital to our maturing. 

We can't and won't fix something if we don't think it's broken. And we can't admit our brokenness until we know we will not be rejected for it. Once we feel safe to admit our brokenness, we can be more honest with ourselves (and others) about our shortcomings.

We can admit our faults only to the extent we know we are loved despite them.

When we are loved in ⁴this way we desire to bring joy and honor to the only One who loves us this way. We delight in doing all we can to honor them. When this is for God, He in turn feels honored to be in a relationship with us.

For a discussion on loving yourself click here and here.

For a discussion on what it means to be broken click here. 

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¹We are not broken in the sense that we no longer have natural abilities, talents, or resources but in how we use these, i.e. do we use them to self-comfort instead of bringing comfort to others as we were *designed to?

Self-comforting is so common it is considered normal, not broken. We not only embrace it but applaud others who do this as well. "Loving ourselves" has become a cultural mantra in the West when it is actually the primary evidence and expression of brokenness. 

Our need to love ourselves is only because we have rejected God, the very source of love. How? Whenever we look to or go to something other than God for love, we are telling God we can do better at finding and experiencing love on our own than we can from Him, when in fact only God is the source of love, life, and all things. 

*We are in God's image, designed to be like God, which is to be other-focused - i.e. to give, not take. The more we give, the more we are like God, and the more we partake of and experience Him, i.e. experience love flowing to and through us to others.

We justify getting or taking because we think it will make us happy, more complete, and whole. Short-term it may, but the ultimate solution to our need for love is not taking it but receiving it from the Source, which enables us to pass it on to others. 

God is primarily what we need, but we refuse to receive what he offers, i.e. His infinite affections offered to us in and through His Son Jesus.

We reach the highest level of our design - God's likeness - when we give. But not to get but simply for the joy of seeing others receive life through us. And we can only give as God does when we are receiving love from the One who is the ultimate source of love, God himself. 

²This is what makes our family of origin so unique and significant. No one sees our flaws and strengths as much or as well as family. If we come from a loving family, this is where we feel safest... Or "more at home" to use a common expression. If we come from an unloving family, this is why for some thoughts of family are most painful. And also why we may fear letting others see us the way we truly are. 

³This approach believes you can't lose what you never had to begin with.

There is a saying that it is better to have loved and lost than to have never loved at all.

But what if you never love again? All you have is the painful memory of not having something (love) you still need and long for. Is this not the essence of hell itself? I'm not suggesting we avoid love for fear of never experiencing it again. I am saying no human can love us in the way we are designed for, i.e. perfectly and continuously loved, without interruption. Only God is perfect, perpetual, and endless love. 

⁴God alone consistently loves us in this way. He alone is perfect and infinite love.

God wants us to want Him, not force us to

God wants us to pursue Him only if we want to. God never forces us to but helps us see the importance and necessity of our pursuit through our mistakes, failures, struggles, and pain, as well as our successes. 

Whenever we pursue things other than (or outside of) God, we find they leave us empty and create problems. 

They also causes us to feel distant from God, resulting in us missing and longing for more of his presence. This drives us to return and pursue Him more faithfully so we might experience him and his infinite love again more fully. 

As we partake of his presence, we long for it more and when it's absent, this increases our desire to avoid whatever alienates us from Him and creates a sense of His absence.

The saying goes that you can lead a horse to water but cannot make it drink. While God never forces us to pursue him He knows the best way to help us see the need for him. To continue with the analogy, He doesn't make us drink but he does know how to salt our oats. 

We may not always know why we suffer or the specific benefit we will gain from it at that time - i.e. if we will ever see any immediate or long term circumstantial benefit, or gain anything at all in this life - but we know the general reason is so we might draw closer to and partake of Him more and who He is as the source of life, love, and all things. This may or may not result in a change of circumstances but it always results in a change of disposition. It brings us to a place of greater joy, contentment, and rest in Him.

We are told that "eye has not yet seen or ear yet heard..." what God has for us in eternity and what exactly being fully glorified and like Christ will look like. But this may be the primary reason we are given to encourage us ¹in our struggles i.e. to make us more Christlike. If and when we trust God, knowing this is sufficient.

The rub is what we gain eternally is often not obvious and has no immediate benefit to us now but a gain we have to accept by faith.    To us an analogy by Tim Keller, we don't have a video explanation of the value we receive from our struggles but an audio one. It is one we are given by words (promises) not by sight - at least not yet. Words we must believe but promises we have not actually seen firsthand with their own eyes or fully experienced. It is this very faith God is seeking to stretch and increase. So we do have some idea -- audio -- why we should remain faithful in our pursue of God but not the complete idea - video i.e. we are not yet face-to-face with Jesus.

Jesus said to him, "Have you believed because you have seen me? Blessed are those who have not seen and yet have believed." - John 20:29

It is our believing while not seeing that God is looking to stretch and expand. 

¹Actually there is another very significant reason for our suffering. It is so we will understand Christ's suffering on our behalf more fully.  The more we understand his suffering -- which usually doesn't occur until we go through our own -- the more we see His love and in turn grow in our love for him and what he did for us. For a further discussion on this click here. 

Another reason may simply be that we become more compassionate for the suffering of others which enables us to better love our neighbor as ourselves. This too is a present benefit.

But note, none of these benefits necessarily improve our circumstances but they do give us hope and enable us to persevere in our challenges with joy. 

What reveals our heart most

If we want to know the true condition of our heart two things reveal it better than anything; ¹great adversity and great success. 

Great adversity either humbles us or embitters us. Great success either makes us proud or grateful.

When you go through great adversity, how do you respond? Do you get angry and blame others or shake your fist at God? Or do you step back and reflect on how this too comes from God's hand for your good and seek to respond in a way that honors Him?

When you have a really good day (or season) where everything lines up circumstantially and everything you touch turns to gold, how do you respond? Do you start feeling and thinking that you are better than others or are you humbled that God has been good to you and cleared your path?

If you are inclined to feel anger during adversity or pride from success, what is the solution? It is actually the same for both; God's love. As we trust more and more in God's love and allow it to seep deep into our souls - whether in success or struggle - we are freed from trying to get love or affirmation elsewhere. We are not drawn away from God by the praise of men, because God's embrace means far more. 

We also question God's good intentions behind our hardships less. As our trust in God matures, we recognize more and more that the struggles and blessings of life are only from his wise and gracious hand. 

Great success or great suffering may darken our hearts or make us wiser and more humble, but they will never leave us where we were.

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¹what is the difference in these very different responses? Humility. Those who respond positively recognize all they are and have comes from their Creator. Those who don't, believe they are alone and must make life work on their own. No one is there to help them or cares about them more than they can or do.

The latter is a lonely path we are not designed to travel. We are created for relationship, but not just any relationship will do. Only one with the infinitely loving, wise, and all-powerful Creator,  who knows us better than we know ourselves. 

The essence of relationships

What is the essence of relationships?

All relationships consist of giving and receiving love (value).

However, different types of relationships occur in a variety of ways between various parties.

What makes them unique is the form or manner in which love and value are expressed or exchanged, i.e., what kind of relationship it is and who the persons with whom love and value are shared. 

Is it between God our Creator and His image bearers (you and I), husband and wife, parent and child, siblings, friends, extended family, business partners or associates, fellow believers, etc.?

Each kind of ¹relationship has unique characteristics that the others do not have - i.e., a unique way of showing love and value - while also the same, in that they all share love and value in some form with the other person or object of our love. 

For example, physical intimacy between a husband and wife is unique to that relationship. Love expressed in this way is only legitimately expressed between them and not others or other kinds of relationships.

Physical intimacy makes the marriage union the ²most complete human relationship. Marriage embodies the expression of giving and receiving love in all forms - friendship, companionship, partnership, and physical intimacy - within a single relationship.

Each kind of relationship is valuable and designed by God to reveal something about Him (and us) that the other types of relationships don't. The nature and vastness of God are too great to be fully displayed by any one kind of relationship alone.

How does God fit into all this? 

God himself is relationship as Father and Son in, by, and through the Spirit, and the basis for all relationships. All relationships reflect something of who He is and what He is like.

Therefore, we find the most joy in relationships with persons other than God when we understand and recognize that ultimately they are all gifts from God designed to reveal something about who He is and what He's like, not only to us but to each other. This adds to and aids our understanding of God and helps us appreciate Him more. This also adds greater fullness and meaning to all ³secondary relationships outside of Him, i.e., they are expressions of His love for us.

The highest form of love (and therefore relationship) is God's love. Why? It is the only love that does not require love to be given in return. It is a kind of love that flows out of the fullness of who God is, not out of something needed or missing within God. It is unique and the highest kind of love. It is giving, never taking.

Because God ⁴is love, relationship for God is the "natural" - i.e. organic - outcome of who He is; a being of relationship between the Father and Son, in, by, and through the Spirit. 

This triune relationship has always been from all eternity past. There has never been a time when God was not in a relationship of giving and receiving love. 

God never requires our love ⁵in order to give us His. His love is overflowing and sacrificial, i.e., always giving (and receiving), never taking. And this is because He doesn't need our love, therefore neither requires it - at least not for His sake. 

One of the most well-known passages in scripture says, "God so loved the world he gave... " What (who) He gave is not something trivial. He gave the most valuable and significant "thing" He could give - the eternal Son of his infinite affection. 

God's love only and always gives and never takes. Not because God doesn't want or enjoy our love in return, He simply doesn't need it (though it is always welcomed and delightfully received when given by us).

Though we occasionally show sacrificial love ourselves - often in "fits and starts" - God always operates this way. He always operates out of fullness, never out of need. He is always overflowing in love and always has from all eternity past between the Father and Son in and through the Spirit, long before we ever came into the picture.

" ...For you know the grace of our Lord Jesus Christ, that though he was rich, yet for your sake he became poor so that you by his poverty might become rich." - 2 Cor 8:9

" ...because of His great love for us, God, who is rich in mercy, made us alive with Christ even when we were dead in our trespasses. It is by grace you have been saved!" - Eph 1:4-5

"...God shows his love for us in that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us. Since, therefore, we have now been justified by his blood, much more shall we be saved by him from the wrath of God. For if while we were enemies we were reconciled to God by the death of his Son, much more, now that we are reconciled, shall we be saved by his life. - Rom 5:8‭-‬10

For related discussions, the following links are offered:

Man...saint or sinner

Man's dilemma

God is relationship

AND

God is nonstop love beauty and glory

Is the wrath of God unfair? Click here.

Why are relationships important? Click here

The giving and receiving of glory/love click here.

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Footnotes:

¹Relationships are so much a necessary part of who we are that adults who choose to remain single will often have pets to be in a relationship with another being - even if only on a simple and limited level with a pet. While pets are wonderful gifts from God and provide a kind of companionship, they come nowhere near the level of a God-centered, vibrant, and healthy human relationship.

²Because of this form of love, marriage is the only relationship that produces offspring i.e. another bearer of God's image. This makes marriage the highest form of relationship - closest to the union of Father, Son, and Spirit - and why the fruit of its union - children - is sacred.

³The best marriage or best relationship between a child and parent or siblings is one that is exercised by the love and forgiveness of God.

⁴Love is central to or the core of God's being.

⁵The Father accepts and totally embraces Christ's love on our behalf i.e. as if it were our own love. 

God also poured out the consequences of our rejection of Him and His love onto Christ, as if Christ rejected the Father. 

All this is offered and given as a gift when we place our trust in Christ and what He did on our behalf. 

The only question is, do you believe and receive what Christ did for you? You will never experience the transforming benefit He offers to you otherwise.

The necessity of faith

Faith is mentioned and illustrated throughout the bible but we are given this one specific quote on four different occasions... "the just shall live by faith." 

Everything the Bible says is important, but when it ¹says something verbatim multiple times, it is especially significant. We should pay special attention. 

Faith is a central theme throughout the Bible, but what exactly are we to have faith in? And why is it so vital and necessary?

We are called to live by faith for many reasons but a primary one is ongoing pain, suffering, and death (evil). Why? These can cause us to question the goodness of God i.e. if God is so good, why does evil exist and still continue? 

To say it simply and directly, the continued presence of evil in the world requires us to live by faith in God's goodness because often the "evidence"- i.e. suffering -appears to say just the opposite. But does it?

Is there no proof of God's goodness or no solution to evil? 

Not only is there proof, but when understood, it is the greatest evidence of all. 

Christ, who was totally free of evil, stepped out of the eternal bliss of perfect union and joy with His Father and into this world of pain and death over 2000 years ago. He did so ³to embrace the full consequences of evil (death) caused by humanities rebellious distrust of God and totally overcame it (resurrection). This is both the response and absolute solution to evil and clear evidence of God's goodness. 

God didn't do this because he had to but because he wanted to, i.e. He so loved the world he gave his only Son. Sacrificial love is the ultimate expression and demonstration of love and when fully understood, eliminates any doubts about God's goodness.

For those who trust Him, Christ's first coming set us totally free from the ¹legal consequences of evil. Because of Christ, evil can never again separate us from God's love. 

His coming also laid the groundwork and set the stage for God ²to completely free us (and earth) of the very presence of evil when He returns. 

Christ is God's resounding proof of His goodness and the ultimate answer to evil. 

For those who refuse to trust Him (and His solution) or refuse to believe He is good after such clear proof, there is no other solution or remedy. Sadly, evil only continues for those who reject His offer of love and restoration. But this doesn't have to be. 

To know and understand God and His infinite goodness and love, we must know and understand Christ. If you desire to know God, in all His goodness and love, study and know Christ - who He is, what He did, and why He did it. Christ himself said, "...If you have seen me, you have seen the Father (God)..." Many posts on this blog address this, i.e. who Christ is, what He did, and why He did it. 

Additional articles about Christ:

The only begotten Son.

The incarnation of God

The Logos of God

The fellowship of Christ's suffering

Job: an example and lesson in trust and humility

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¹this can be a direct quote, as in this example, or a recurring theme. Direct quotes are particularly important, indicating God doesn't want us to miss what He seeks to convey. 

Recurring themes are throughout scripture and are more subtle. They require some digging but are equally important.

²Knowing God - but not fully yet

³The resurrection clearly and resoundingly asserts that death does not have the final word, life does.

Does God want anything?

As the Creator and Sustainer of everything that exists, naturally God must value Himself. That is a given. But how does God feel about the things He created, like you and I?

God values us as well. But why?

Does God get something from us that he needs? No. God needs nothing. 

‭‭"The God who made the world and everything in it, being Lord of heaven and earth, does not live in temples made by man, nor is he served by human hands, as though he needed anything since he himself gives to all mankind life and breath and everything" - the apostle Paul - Acts‬ 17:24‭-‬25‬ ‭

Everything that is, comes from Him. 

God doesn't need anything because he has everything He needs within the community of perfect love between the Father and Son in, by, and through the Spirit. Everything else that is, flows out of God and all His fullness, i.e. who He is - a fullness so great that God simply spoke everything else that is into existence. He is the only being who can say, "I AM!"

So why then does He value us? 

It is because we are in his image - i.e. like Him. But how or why does this matter? 

By virtue of our being like Him we can give Him something he desires and enjoys. It is through Christ first (the Son of man and God) and now us, that he reveals Himself to others, that he might also bring others into the divine dance of love and joy within and among the community of Father and Son and Spirit. In short, He desires others (you and I) to experience Him, for our sake, and to share this with those like Him, i.e. other image-bearers, so they may also partake of Him, i.e. for ¹their sake.

Wanting something is not necessarily selfish. We can desire and find joy in someone else's gain solely for the benefit it brings to them. 

The reason we are this way is that this is the way God is - we are like him. 

We can also relate to this because we know what it feels like to want the best for our children. We want this solely for their sake, not ours, simply because they are our kids; they come from us, not completely unlike the way we come from God, i.e. we are his offspring; bearers of His image. 

Some other links that touch on different aspects of God valuing us:

Does God value us

What does God value in us

Our worth is based on what?

Why in God's name does he love us?

God's love is based on who or what?

Created for glory

Lovable vs lovely

Hardwired for greatness

The most valuable values us 

Our worth God's glory

Giving and receiving glory

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Footnote:

¹Though we gain joy from others benefitting by our care and love, the joy is in knowing they benefitted i.e. we don't do it for our joy, but theirs. It just so happens we also get joy in this because we are like God, who receives joy in bringing joy to others. 

The law/obedience... required or not

Is obedience to God and His law a requirement?

In one sense, it is not and in another sense it is.

1. Obedience is not required:

For justification, i.e. We are not, cannot, nor ever will be justified (in right standing with God) by our obedience to God's ³law. 

To approach God's law in this way is saying we can make ourselves "right" with God through our efforts, i.e. we can be good enough to make (or cause) God to accept and love us. 

If so, Christ wouldn't have needed to die to obtain our right atanding. We could simply be our own savior and the cause of our salvation. 

But we have a major problem. In order to be right with God requires a love, faithfulness, loyalty to, and worship of God, that is equal to His beauty, majesty, and glory. God, being all glorious, rightfully demands and deserves a matching response. 

We are to love God with all our heart, soul, mind, and strength, because of who He is and how He loves. Anything less would be inappropriate and inadequate for an infinitely majestic, all-glorious being.

However, this ³does not occur for several reasons.

• To not love and honor God with all we have and are minimizes the beauty, majesty, holiness, glory, and infinite worth of God. The greatness of God justly compels and requires our perfect love and absolute faithfulness, loyalty, and worship of him for who He is - the infinitely beautiful, majestic, and all-glorious God. Because of who God is, nothing less than perfect faithfulness, absolute and total loyalty, is suitable or sufficient for the Creator, Giver, and Sustainer of all things. He deserves all our devotion and rightfully desires no less.

But who among us loves God with all we are and have? Yet everything we are and have is from Him, is it not? At a minimum, this alone demands our perfect loyalty, devotion, and respect, if not our affection. This is also the heart of greatest commandment. 

• Only God is perfectly loyal in faithfulness; we are not. This is a problem since faithfulness and unfaithfulness in a relationship can not mix. This would be like a married couple with one partner being infinitely good and perfectly loving, loyal, and faithful, while the other partner is off pursuing other "lovers." No normal and healthy relationship works this way.

• Our attempts to earn a right standing with God nullifies the work Christ did to fully restore our broken relationship with God. Attempting this is an insult to Christ and His efforts. We are saying Christ's faithfulness to God - which was even unto death - was unnecessary; that I can do better and be good enough and love God well enough to make myself right and acceptable to God without Christ having to do this for me. In effect, this is saying to God and others that Christ died in vain. His death was unnecessary and useless. 

• We simply do not and cannot love/value God perfectly as He deserves, i.e. with all our heart, soul, mind, and strength, and our neighbor as ourselves, without God empowering us.  How does He empower us? By love. We are designed to respond to love and be the recipients and conduits of love. We are not the initiators of it. God alone is the source and cause of love. We love Him because He first loved us. 

• And He will not empower us until the fallout (i.e. the harm and consequences) from our rejection of His beauty, majesty, and glory is addressed and accounted for. The veil of blindness that obstructs us from seeing him as He truly is is removed. This occurs only when we are restored to a right relationship with God through Christ's efforts, not ours, i.e., we are justified by faith, not works. 

2. Obedience is a "¹requirement":

If we are to partake of the fullness of God, His life, and bring Him maximum honor and experience our greatest flourishing. 

This has nothing to do with our justification before God as our judge and everything to do with our communing with God and being in a harmonious and fulfilling relationship with Him as our loving Father. Having a "right standing" with God is only possible through Christ's efforts, not ours. Christ alone was perfectly faithful to God, not us - even unto death. 

However, being close to God and in a warm relationship with Him is up to us.

• Experiencing God in all his greatness and the full potential He created us for requires our maximum participation in who He is as our all-wise and loving Father and faithfully pursuing all he calls us to do. The essence of this is loving him with all our heart, soul, mind, and strength as he rightfully deserves and loving our neighbors as ourselves (who, like us, are also in God's image). 

• Our obedience does not cause God to love us but aligns us with Him and "plugs us in" to who He is - His heart-will - as the most lovely of all. Obedience is evidence of our love for him. It is a reflection of our love for God and should match his love for us. 

It also ushers us into his presence more fully. When we draw near to him, ²he draws near to us. 

• God is loving, good, kind, and wise. In Christ, we are his children. When we are aligned with Him, His love flows to us and empowers us so we also become loving, good, kind, and wise. This also reveals and reflects him to others through us, i.e. It honors him. It brings him glory and also brings us the greatest joy.

In summary, obedience is a requirement as far as our maximum flourishing, experiencing God, and honoring Him, but not as far as our justification. 

The Westminster Catechism asks...

What is the chief end of man?

The chief end of man is to glorify God and enjoy him forever. God's glory and our joy go hand in hand i.e. our greatest joy is in glorifying God.

"For from him and through him and to him are all things. To him be glory forever. Amen."  Rom 11:36  

For a discussion on how we are inclined or seek to earn God's love, click here.

For a discussion on the difference between "Cultural Christians" and grace-driven followers of Christ, click here.

For a discussion on how God empowers us, click here and here.

For a discussion on the essence of God's Kingdom, click here.

For a discussion on how God's love is conditional and unconditional, click here.

For a discussion on whether our focus should be on morality or Jesus, click here.

 

For a discussion on what righteousness is click here

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Footnotes:

¹I put "requirement" in quotes to distinguish it from justification. It is a requirement in the sense that drinking water or eating nutritious food is a requirement if we wish to stay alive and experience optimal health. 

God is Life. All we are and have is from God. Partaking of, experiencing, and fully engaging Him is up to us.

Loving God with all we have and are and our neighbor as ourselves is to operate according to our design (and His will). Things work best when they function as they are designed to. This is especially true of us as creatures who alone are in God's image.

Even as God's child - through Christ - if we stop eating and drinking, we will still die. Nevertheless, we are no less loved by God because we violated God's design to physically sustain us through eating and drinking.

²Not in his disposition and posture of love toward us (Christ already fully took care of this and secured it for us) but in our disposition towards Him. 

God's willingness, desire, and commitment to manifest Himself to us and our being able to experience Him in all his love are perfectly secured for us by Christ. 

But our full participation in all Christ has secured depends on us i.e. on our trust in God and faithful pursuit of Him as spelled out in the greatest command to love Him with all we are and have and our neighbors as ourselves. 

³Not because we shouldn't obey the law or because the law is not good, but because we cannot without His love empowering us.

The entire Bible illustrates this. Every time God sought to advance His purpose through us, we failed. Beginning with Adam, then Abraham, Moses, Jacob, and David.  Each were called to be God's special representative to multiply and advance His loving and righteous rule on earth, and each ultimately failed.  

Why did God show this throughout the Bible? To demonstrate that he alone, through Christ, could live righteously and satisfy the requirements to faithfully and perfectly honor Him as he deserves i.e. according to God's true honor, glory, and righteousness.