The value of tension, paradox and seeming contradictions

Whenever God gives us a truth, there often seems to be an opposite truth that goes alongside it and appears contrary to it. Such as God is sovereign in the affairs of men and man is fully responsibility for his choices i.e. the "God is sovereign" vs man has a "free will" debate. 

Many key truths in scripture are in tension. The greatest truths seem to be those found within these greatest points of tension; between apparently opposing or opposite realities; the apparent contradictions and greatest paradoxes - i.e. there is a deeper and fuller truth hidden within the paradox and tension of seemingly opposite truths. If we humbly wrestle with and contemplate these seeming contradictions, God reveals vital truths about Himself and His creation we would otherwise miss. 

I would further suggest that those truths are in tension so we would press further into God in greater humility and trust, to discover the richest and most rewarding realities about Him (and ourselves) within the tension. Not an easy thing but the greatest challenges in life usually yield the greatest fruit.

If you dig into this blog further, you will notice many of the posts attempt to identify and address truths in the Bible that appear to be in tension. 


Paradox easily misunderstood. 

Because the most profound truths and realities are often found in tension, the deeper truths to be discovered within are easily missed, misapplied, or misunderstood.

Like walking a tightrope or fence - i.e. at the apex of truths in tension - if you lean too far to one side or the other you fall off and away from the truth God desires we uncover within the tension.

We prefer an "either-or" scenarios because ironically, it's a form of control (or rather an attempt at a false sense of control). We don't like doing a balancing act. It takes a lot of effort (trust) and can be uncomfortable and even exhausting. The desire to feel settled ("off the fence") versus feeling unsettled creates stress. We don't like stress, we prefer comfort and try to use control via logic to obtain it, which is a false sense of comfort. 

Feeling "settled" is a control thing, tension is a "faith" thing. What we can't control creates tension and requires trust. Ironically we must trust because we are not all knowing i.e. we are limited (finite). We dislike the idea that some things are beyond our understanding. 

Why denominations

I think these seemingly contradictory truths are also a primary reason there are often strong differences among various groups/denominations within the church at large. We settle on one side of those truths that are in tension to the exclusion of the other side (and gravitate to the group that agrees with us most) when both realities are not only taught in scripture but necessary for our greatest understanding of those deeper underlying truths and our greater advancement in our relationship and walk with God i.e. the advancement of our faith in God. 

I believe humility would go a long way in preventing denominational differences. We must recognize we are finite and only God is infinite, knowing all things. We must submit to Him when we have differences instead of dogmatically insisting (out of either a sense of insecurity or a need for control) that we see all things correctly and others don't i.e. we are right and others are wrong. At a minimum, we can recognize that if our understanding of who God is and how he operates is clearer today than it was "yesterday" it is only because of humility and recognizing we were once off the mark on certain things as well and must always listen and learn and recognize we have much yet to see and understand. 


Tension...the result of the fall

I propose however the tension is within us, not the truths themselves. First, it is part of our being finite creatures. Only God knows and sees all. We do not. We don't like this, however. The more we know the more we feel in control. Feeling "out of control" requires trust, i.e. the necessity to trust the One who is in control - which isn't us. 

Second, it also goes contrary to our rebellious commitment to independence i.e. to being our own god, trusting ourselves instead of Him who alone is all-seeing and all-knowing. 

Tension is part of being broken and living in a broken world. It is the fruit of death -- of separation from God, who is the only source of love and life. The death God warned Adam of. Tension is a kind of pain/suffering. 

When we rebelled, everything came unglued - fragmented. Not just our relationship with God, but with others and even with ourselves. We no longer truly know our own hearts and why we do what we do. As Jeremiah said, the heart is desperately wicked, who can know it?

Trust, not infinite knowledge

When we trust what we can't fully understand - because we are finite - the tension subsides or may go away altogether - though not necessarily the paradox causing the tension. The inability to reconcile the paradox may never go away on this side of eternity, if only because we see through a "glass darkly" in this present existence (or a mirror dimly, depending on the translation).

Tension is the fruit of our refusal to recognize our limits and ultimately the result of our mistrust in God; in his love, goodness, wisdom, and power. Tension is the fruit of placing our trust in ourselves and our ability to make sense out of life unaided, i.e. an attempt to operate independently of God. If we think we can, when we can't, we experience tension. 

However, there is no tension, confusion, mystery, or lack of clarity within God. Everything makes perfect sense to him. In fact, if we believe the claims within scripture, we know he sees and knows all -- is all-wise, is infinitely good and loving, and does everything accordingly; especially the things we don't understand. 

The way God is bringing things about is exactly the perfect way for them to be brought about. It is this reality we are ultimately called to believe/rest in. And it is this belief/trust we resist most.

"And without faith it is impossible to please him, for whoever would draw near to God must believe that he exists and that he rewards those who seek him." - Heb 11:6 ESV

We are called to believe God is who He claims to be. When we do, the tension subsides or at least doesn't distract us as much or cause as much turmoil. 

Some examples of truths in tension

·      You're totally and perfectly righteous before God in Christ. We are still totally broken and rebellious in our trust of God, and increasingly more aware of both as we mature in our faith. Yet still fully loved and embraced in our lingering rebellious distrust. 

·      To live you must die, 

·      To find your life you must lose your life

·      To be exalted (lifted high) you must be humbled (go low). 

·      "Blessed are the poor in spirit, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven." True wealth -- not necessarily material wealth -- comes through poverty i.e. humility. 

·      "Blessed are those who mourn, for they shall be comforted." The greatest comfort often comes through the greatest sadness and pain.

·      "Blessed are the meek, for they shall inherit the earth" -- conquering comes through surrendering.

·      "Blessed are those who hunger and thirst for righteousness, for they shall be satisfied -- fullness comes through hunger.

·      God is the Sovereign Creator and Sustainer of all things yet he brings about the advancement of his kingdom only through his broken, flaw filled people/the church. 

·      God hates evil yet fully incorporates evil in bringing about his perfect plans. 

·      God is perfectly sovereign in our salvation yet we alone are totally responsible for rejecting God's offer of that salvation.

·      Jesus was and is fully God while also fully man. 

·      God is one in essence but also three distinct persons.

In wrestling with these and many other truths in tension, we come closest to truly knowing God and his ways -- though not necessarily fully. 

There is always mystery. If there were not, God would cease to be the infinite, "bottomless," all-knowing God, and we would cease to look to him and trust him for greater understanding. We would depend on our reason alone (the ability to know the difference between good and evil - right from wrong - without confiding in God), the same lie Adam and Eve bought into in their rebellion.

And it is only in our looking to Him -- not just to our logic, and resting in him we find our greatest joy, contentment, rest, and peace -- lack of turmoil/confusion. If we seek these through perfect clarity of all mysteries, we will never have them because we are finite and broken, living in a broken world. To use a biblical description, we now "see through a glass darkly..." That will not change this side of eternity. We won't know as we are known until we see him face to face. So we must trust God and Christ are everything they claim to be and doing what they claim to be doing e.g. working all things together for the good of those who love Him  - and trust Him as well. 

That we are feeling tension in any given area, be it in our understanding of truth or our challenging circumstances -- and not being able to understand them and why we are experiencing them, is because there is an underlying reality yet to be discovered in or through the tension, and a place of trust we have yet to reach. 

It is this reality we must ask God to help us learn well. The tension requires us to do so.

Pain, tension, and spiritual advancement

It is in wrestling with the balance/tension between vital truths that we grow most.

CS Lewis alluded to this when he said truths (and lies) come in pairs and we must be careful to not back away in reaction to one error and fall off the cliff on the other side into another.

Our points of greatest pain, tension, and/or confusion are often our greatest times of epiphany and spiritual advancement.

This doesn't mean we should seek pain found in tension, but neither should we avoid it through some diversion such as entertainment, wealth, substance abuse or sex (to name the more common ones) when we can't avoid pain. Some tensions we cannot eliminate and should not. Rather, we need to delve in and wrestle with them to discover the great truths God has for us within them. When tension comes, embrace it and learn from it. It always has something to tell us about God and ourselves that is important, if we are listening.


Beauty is greatest when found in the harmony of diversity and tension

The beauty of God is not physical but has to do with his nature; with harmony in diversity - a key aspect of the Trinity - and how God makes the apparent contradictions of his being work and harmonize together; how there is no conflict within God; everything fits perfectly together.

And the greater the contrast (tension) and variation of the parts, the more unique, amazing, and beautiful it is when they harmonize. This is true of all relationships.

This is especially true of God's being, purposes, and plans. 

Who among us doesn't think "how beautiful" when we see things we wouldn't normally think would work together, harmonizing? The greater the contrast, the more harmony is required and the more beautiful it is. 


An example: the tension and the interplay of choice and the sovereignty of God.

Are we "free" to choose? 

God respects our ability to choose, so much that he lets us make poor decisions so we will figure out how bad they are and not make them again but turn away from them and make excellent ones next time. 

That way, when we do, it is our choice and no one else's. And not only are they our choices but we made them because we have come to love and trust God's direction and choose him by our free choice not because we were programmed to choose him. For true love to happen it must happen freely. If someone is "programmed" to love it is not true love freely given. The programming dictates the action. It is not a choice freely made.

However, this "figuring out" the right choice only occurs by God's Spirit. Our ability to choose is only because God sustains us and gives us this ability. If not, we would never see or figure this out i.e. God is sovereign in our choices. 

Because we are naturally inclined to try to control instead of trust, we avoid tension and try to relegate the mysteries of life into nice, neat, logical boxes and miss the full value of truths in Scripture that are in tension. 

The challenge is we like things -- including and maybe particularly God -- to fit into neat packages. This gives us a sense of control and requires less trust/faith. 

Tension, paradox, and apparent contradictions always require trust. We don't like trust, we like control. This was the essence of the serpent's appeal in the garden...you shall be like god -- in total charge of your life by -- knowing good and evil... i.e. you will no longer need to depend on or look to God for these things. He will no longer be necessary to help you figure out what is right or wrong, good or bad etc. That will be up to you now. You can make life work without him. 

How wrong we were and how right God was in his warning. We truly died i.e. broke away from the only true source of knowing what is right and wrong, and love and life - God himself - resulting in spiritual death. This eventually led to physical death and ultimately to all the brokenness in the world we now see. 

So we tend to fall on one side or the other of truths held in tension. In so doing we miss the deeper truths and riches that lie within that tension.

The irony is the more we trust God, the more he reveals to us and gives us a fuller understanding of those mysteries, even if not a complete understanding. 

Faith is about relationship, not faith

   

God is after growing our faith because he's after strengthening our relationship with Him.  In order to understand him more fully we must more fully trust him. All relationships require trust. This in large part is why I believe truths are in tension. Learning is found in the tension. Humility -- a key aspect of faith -- precedes learning. 

The fact that we are feeling tension in any given area, be it in our understanding of truth or our challenging circumstances, is because there is an underlying reality yet to be discovered in or through the tension and an opportunity to increase our trust in and strengthen our relationship with God. 

It is this reality we must find and ask God to help us learn well. When we do, the tension -- but not necessarily that which is causing the tension -- will subside or go away, possibly even altogether on occasion -- or at least more frequently. The degree to which we trust God is the degree to which we will have peace amid struggle/tension and also the degree to which God will give us a fuller understanding into those mysteries; a peace that "passes" - goes beyond or outside of understanding i.e. that is beyond logic and reasoning. 

·        For a discussion on the necessity of choice for love to be real, click here

·        For some posts on the freedom of choice, click here

.    For a discussion on free will click here.

·        For a discussion of the Calvinist/Arminian debate, click here

·        For a discussion on the necessity of       humility in seeing truth, click here

What exactly is privilege?

You may have heard the expression the "upside-down gospel."  What exactly does this mean? The gospel is counter-intuitive. We are told to become weak is to be strong, to find your life you must lose it and to be exalted you must be humbled. The meek, not the demanding, inherit the earth. This cuts against common sense and everything within us. 

But the gospel is what we are called to build our lives on by Christ himself, no matter who we are or what ethnic group we belong to. Why do I raise the race question? Because the current racial tension is due to men ignoring the essence of the gospel. To self identify or identify others by a certain race is divisive - and I would suggest often intentionally so. Our true identity can only be found in a relationship of perfect love with our Creator, not some group. Race in today's climate is a destructive label unless in reference to the human race. Then it is uniting. We are all made in the image of God and therefore all equal in the eyes of God. And if we are in Christ and under His rule-kingdom, we are brothers and sisters in Christ. This is our identity, not the pigment of our skin regardless of what others think, say, or do to us. 

In God's economy, the gospel takes privilege - used in the present political sense - and puts it on its head. What is that message? In God's gospel ruled kingdom, the 1st shall be last and the last shall be 1st. This says that those who are last - from the

world's perspective - are more privileged than those who are first with all their earthly advantages and benefits. This is not the message we are given by the world, more so now than ever. 

We must be careful not to forget God's ways are not ours, and ours are not his. Man seeks to understand his world independent of infinite wisdom, i.e. God's wisdom, expressed above. Why? Because he seeks to be his own god and believes his own independent understanding of himself and the world around him is right and sufficient, i.e. it alone can lead him to the truth. But only God is infinite in knowledge and ¹in every other way; man is not. Finite man can never gain access to the infinite on his own. He needs help from someone far greater than himself i.e. someone infinite in knowledge and wisdom. The finite - you and I - can not reach up and bring the Infinite down to us. The Infinite must come down and reveal Himself. And He did in Christ! Yet man rejects God's Son and the wisdom and revelation he offers.

To operate contrary to our design - i.e. to ignore our limits - is foolish. This is like trying to care for a delicate plant or rare animal or operate a complex machine to the maximum of its potential and ignore the manual that tells us how to do so. Man can observe himself and the world around him and definitely discover certain things. But can he discover all that needs to be known unaided? Is there a difference between facts and truth? 

There is. Let me illustrate.

We can all see the sun - unless we are literally blind, but even then we can feel its warmth. No one would dispute there is something bright or warm in the sky. Over time, with enough study, we can discover the specifics of how the sun operates; all are important facts, they are just not all the "facts." 

As hard as science tries, science has never been able to answer the why question. This is different from the "how" questions. Why is the sun there? Why are we here to observe it and experience the benefits that come from it? We may try to find the answer to the why questions through science but discovering the facts of what is, is the role of science, why something exists is not. To this day science has not concluded with certainty why anything is, only how it works. The why must be found elsewhere. We must go to the Designers manual and see what He says about the why of His creation. 

There is man's way of seeing and doing things. Depending on one's worldview, those ways could be the polar opposite of each other. Why? Because man is limited in his understanding if left only to his own reasoning and finiteness i.e. we are not all knowing, all powerful, everywhere present of all loving. Hence all the tension in the world today. Everyone thinks their knowledge is absolute, independent of the source of absolute knowledge. There is usually ²some truth in all views, mixed in with some fallacy, some being more or less true than others. Who decides what is true and who is the arbitrator when these differences create great tension and conflict? Man's sole reliance on his own reasoning and resources in determining truth instead of confiding in the Source of all wisdom and truth will not settle a matter, only inflame it.

When there are opposing views, the truth often lies somewhere in the midst of the tension of those views. Both sides are seeing truth the other is not. Then there is God's way or a 3rd way if you will. The way of infinite knowledge. The way none of us as finite beings, can see unless God reveals it. And who does he reveal himself to? Those who know they need to see it-Him i.e. those humble enough to recognize that along i.e. without God who is infinite, man can not see all he needs to see to know with certainty his understanding of the world is correct (remember the why questions). 

If we are to resolve the tensions of differing views, we must recognize our limitations and acknowledge true understanding and correct view of the world must come outside us and from the Source of infinite knowledge, love, life, and all things. To see this, we must humble ourselves and recognize we need to see more than we need to be seen or heard. This same source tells us the 1st shall be last and the last shall be 1st and to find our life we must first lose it.

 

So to bring this back around to privilege, those who complain the most about someone being privileged over them or another is to miss the whole gospel message. If one is a believer they will rejoice in their low standing not be envious of what they think is someone else's high standing. 

For a further discussion on strength in weakness, click here.

For a further discussion on identity politics, click here. 

For a further discussion on the necessity of forgiveness, click here. 

For a further discussion on values, culture and racism click here. 

For a discussion on my personal experience of discrimination, click here. 

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*All the "omni's" Omniscience, Omnipotence, Omnipresence and Omni benevolence. Or to say it more practically, all-wise and all-knowing, all-powerful, everywhere present and all good and loving.

**We live in a world of design where we can observe how things operate a particular way. And that is because there is design and a designer who created them to do so. Though we can observe this design and discover to some extent how things operate - some truth about their operation - we can never grasp the full purpose of creations design without acknowledging the Creator who designed them. 

And what is that purpose? All things are from, through, and to God. To him be the glory i.e. He must be recognized as the Creator and sustainer of all things if we are to see them as they truly are.

 

 

 

Tension - a mark of maturity

Maturity is marked by a tension of an increasing awareness...

* Of the total extent of our brokenness i.e. our persistent tendency to try and be our own god; to make life work without God. 

* That we make very poor gods and can not make life work as it should without God. 

While at the same time becoming increasingly aware...

* That God's love for us has nothing to do with our brokenness (or "goodness") and has everything to do with Christ being broken for us, 

* Resulting in our increasing love for, trust in and pursuit of God.

Our awareness of this tension/contrast between our brokenness and God's complete remedy for it increases as we continue to mature. As this awareness grows so does our love for God and trust in him.

Are Calvinists and Arminians both wrong?

I would suggest Calvinists and Arminians make the same mistake and are both equally wrong in a vital area.

The tension between the total sovereignty of God and man's full responsibility and accountability is a debate that has gone on since the beginning of the church and still continues. I would propose that in large part it is simply because the scripture teaches both. God is totally sovereign in every sense of the word and man is fully accountable in every sense of the word. We should not water down one to accommodate the other simply so we can make it work for us logically. Scripture certainly appears not to.

And herein lies the rub. We, finite mortals, do not like tension, paradox or seeming contradictions. It is not comfortable. Instead of believing what God says, and trusting what we cannot fully grasp, we would rather “figure it out.” So both sides try to make everything fit into nice, neat, logical boxes to the point they dismiss the other side of the discussion. As a result, both sides fall into the same error. They both tend to depend on logic more than scripture.

There are plenty of verses or passages given by both sides to support their “conclusions.” However, if we stop to consider it, can the finite (us) fully grasp the infinite (God)? Rom 11:33-34; Isa 55:7-9

The problem with taking a hard line ¹logically on the sovereignty/accountability debate is it will cause us to totally miss the significance of our accountability and responsibility to make choices i.e. we will downplay that ability by overstressing God's sovereignty and miss the valuable and highly significant truth that lies in accountability and our God-given freedom to choose or not choose God.

On the other hand, if we stress our ability, responsibility, and our total accountability for our choices, to the point we can't logically reconcile it with God's sovereignty, we will miss out on the comfort and joy we were meant to derive from the greatness of God's power, wisdom, control and his "electing" love that caused him to pick us as his child.

We can not and must not dismiss one side of these seemingly opposing and contradictory realities to the point of minimizing or even eliminating the other, simply because we have challenges making them work logically. Neither can we try to force one side over the other out of a need to be in control of (i.e. understand) how God operates. 

Using logic to give us a false sense of control is the opposite of faith or trust in God. In doing so, we will miss out on the vital significance each side reveals about God and about ourselves.  As the scriptures say, let God be true even if every man is a liar. God's ways are not our ways and our ways are not His.

I propose God is God and answers to no man i.e. what we cannot fully put together logically we must trust. Moreover, I believe this is exactly the point and importance of this seeming contradiction or any other paradox in scripture -- to trust God is good when and where our understanding (logic) comes up short. 

There is no contradiction or conflict within God. It is only an apparent contradiction due to our finite understanding. God is infinite in understanding and in every other way. We are not. 

God says without faith it’s impossible to please Him. God is after our trust in Him; to develop and increase it. How does He do that? Often by asking us to trust what we do not understand. It happens all the time. He often asks, “do you trust me, when it looks like I am not trustworthy and things happen that make no sense at the time? Do you still believe I am good, that I love you and am working for good - your good - when things look terrible and appear the opposite?"

The ability to reason is a gift of God but like all good gifts, it is limited because we are limited - finite. Reason can take us only so far. We should not discard reason, but we must recognize reason is limited simply because we are finite. 

All gifts, including the ability to reason, can be used to either honor God or as an attempt to control our world and try to put God in a box (a very logical one at that). Where logic comes up short, faith must begin. And when it comes to our infinite God, our finite reasoning - logic - often comes up short. 

God is good, He is wise, He’s running the show and working all things for His glory because He says He is, and we are fully responsible to believe Him or not, logic aside. 

Do we trust God and believe His word and trust there is no real contradiction (as opposed to an apparent one) or do we fall into the arrogant error that is a leftover of the “age of reason” by setting our ability to understand all things above the necessity to trust God? To depend exclusively on logic can become a form of control and the opposite of faith.

Gen_50:15 When Joseph's brothers saw that their father was dead, they said, "It may be that Joseph will hate us and pay us back for all the EVIL that we did to him."

Gen_50:17 'Say to Joseph, "Please forgive the transgression of your brothers and their sin, because they DID EVIL to you."' And now, please forgive the transgression of the servants of the God of your father." Joseph wept when they spoke to him.

Gen_50:20 As for you, you meant EVIL against me, but God meant it for good, to bring it about that many people should be kept alive, as they are today.

Does God use evil for good? Yes. He is sovereign over all things.

Were Joseph’s brothers fully responsible for their actions? 100%.

Act_2:23 this Jesus, delivered up according to the definite plan and foreknowledge of God, you crucified and killed by the hands of lawless men.

Did God plan the death of His Son? Yes. (see also Acts 4:27-28 and 1Pe 1:19-20) 

Did He use the hands of lawless man to carry out His plan? Yes. 

Will those men be held accountable for their actions? Yes, 100%.

So where does this leave us? The only legitimate response to the truth that God is all powerful, all wise and all loving in the face of  seeming contradictions is as follows:

Rom 11:33 Oh, the depth of the riches and wisdom and knowledge of God! How unsearchable are his judgments and how inscrutable his ways! 34 “For who has known the mind of the Lord, or who has been his counselor?" 35 “Or who has given a gift to him that he might be repaid?" 36 For from him and through him and to him are all things. To him be glory forever. Amen.

The following links address the tension and different aspects of God's sovereignty and man's responsibility.

• Our "wanter" is broken, not our "chooser"click here
• Why freedom of choice is important, click here
• Do we have a "free" will or are we heavily influenced? click here
• Is God free? click here. 
• The value of paradox and truths in tension click here
• How big is God? click here
• Does God use evil for good? click here
• The greater the evil the greater the potential healing click here
• For a discussion on the knowledge of good vs evil click here
• For a discussion on the question of fairness click here
• The necessity of mercy click here
• Is the election and wrath of God unreasonable? click here
• The practical importance of God's electing grace click here

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¹as opposed to simply trusting it's true and not trying to force it to make sense where it doesn't work logically with accountability.

The internal dynamics of our dilemma and God's amazing solution/offer!

Our problem isn't knowing what we should do, it's doing what we know we should. 

As a result, we have two opposing dynamics going on inside each of us which creates deep-seated conflict with subtle but far-reaching implications and impact. 

Those dynamics are:

1. We have an intuitive understanding and awareness of what is right. The old saying and golden rule "do to others as you would have them do to you" or "love others as you want them to love you," comes to mind. Who doesn't agree with this? Virtually every religion and ethical system recognizes this as a important universal principle in one form or another. 

We also know intuitively this is right and true. It becomes most apparent when we are on the ¹receiving end of not being treated this way -- when we are not treated with dignity, value, respect...in a word, love -- we feel wronged/offended. 

YET

2. None of us has the internal strength (spiritually,  emotionally) to actually ²live this way -- to treat others as we wish to be treated. Sure, on occasion we might, but consistently and perfectly... no way. When it comes to taking care of ourselves or another we naturally (vs supernaturally) take care of ourselves 1st. Why? Because we must have love by design. Without love we are "takers" instead of "givers."

As a result of these two opposing dynamics within us all, and our failure to love others as we wish to be loved, we constantly go about things with this deep-seated, nagging sense of failure, guilt and shame (no matter how unconscious and deeply buried this may be). We constantly fail to live up to what we intuitively know is right and how we were designed, yet never carry out. 

We aren't living up to our own ¹internally embedded standard much less the ones others try to impose on us. 

As a result, we are always going about life with this internal conflict and tension of knowing who we should be and what we should do, yet never doing it consistently (though we mask our shame well and are rarely fully conscious of it). 

At a result of this conflict, deep down inside all of us is a nagging sense of worthlessness (though we are far from being worthless. For more on this click here). 

This often manifests itself in depression. We can never consistently feel good about ourselves - if we base our worth solely on our efforts - because we fail to ³be what we know, at a deep unconscious - or conscious - level, we should be. 

A sense of worthlessness is at the heart of all emotional pain. It is why we are in a perpetual state of pain. We were designed for glory, the opposite of worthlessness.

Seeking relief. 

No wonder we are always trying to do things to prove we aren't so bad (i.e. so self-centered) and seek to obtain anything that makes us feel better about ourselves, if only for a moment i.e. temporarily.

No wonder we are always seeking to be affirmed and recognized by others as important, special, worthwhile, etc. 

No wonder we are offended when people treat us as unimportant/ worthless and don't give us the affirmation we want and feel we deserve. 

We may not be fully aware of the conflict, but we are very aware of our constant need to feel better about ourselves. At a minimum, this is the conscious or "external" evidence of this deeply buried conflict.  

This conflict/tension is a constant part of our lives. We are always seeking affirmation in one form or another. We are always seeking to feel better about ourselves. We are always seeking peace, contentment, joy in one form, or another. Every sales offer assumes and appeals to this at some level. 

We are always seeking internal calm by trying to order our external world (circumstances) in such a way that we can experience this elusive sense of internal peace. Always!!!

What do we do? What can we do?! 

Well, we can distract ourselves (seek to control our environment), through a variety of means. Recreation, drugs, sex, meditation, entertainment, achievement, "beating the next guy," power, fame, money (which affords us many of the other things on the list) etc.

OR

We can try to psyche ourselves into thinking this sense of failure doesn't really exist but is due only to an overly active imagination/ conscience or is part of "cultural programming"; that morality is just a myth, and these feelings of guilt and shame are only in our heads. It's all subjective and not real i.e. right and wrong is not an objective reality.

So how's that working for us (you) so far? Have you found anything that gives this perfect (complete and constant) sense of total wholeness, peace, happiness, without having to constantly jump through hoops of one kind or another? Do you live consistently in a constant, ongoing state of peace and happiness etc. (Yet isn't this what we all want and seek?)

If not, why not? Is this even possible?! Yes, it is. There is an answer. And in truth, it's ultimately the only answer that works. 

And what is that? Glad you asked! 

We can accept God's solution.

First, we need to understand why this tension exists to begin with. We  are made to be loved and to love others. It's part of being like God...in his image. He gives and receives love between the Father, Son, and Spirit. A relationship of love is the core of God's very being. God IS love i.e. He is relationship. It's not just what he does, it is who he is.

We are like him and made for a relationship of love in order to partake of and experience God, who is the source of love, because he is a being of constant, never-ending, overflowing, bottomless love. 

Because of this, we will never feel truly whole unless and until we live in this love. It is who we are, how we are designed and why we exist. Knowing God and experiencing all that he is, is why we were created. The bible states this explicitly and if we stop to really consider this, on a deep level we know intuitively this matches our experience.

  

But this is not all there is to us. We have rejected (and still do) this true source of love. God himself. We choose to operate on our own, with little to no acknowledgment of our need for God (who is infinite, nonstop love) and now try to fill ourselves with substitutes... and think we can.  

But we can't! We are like a fish out of water flopping about, experiencing enough rainfall to keep us from drying up and dying, but nothing like we need to function at the level we were designed to operate.  We are designed to live and swim about in an endless sea of love i.e. with God. Not constantly gasping for breath.

How can a finite being (us) use finite created things to ever fill a need for something Infinite i.e. God himself? That's like putting a pint of fuel in a jet and expecting it to fly (we may be able to briefly fire up the engines at best).

But there is good news! 

God did this for us! Did what?! What does that mean? Christ, while on earth, loved perfectly and completely (because this is who he is and how he has always been throughout eternity past) to the point of dying. He actually gave himself up to be sacrificed.

He first loved His Father. And because he loved his Father he loved us. 

Why would he do that, and how did he? 

Two ways/reasons he showed his love for us. 

1. So that we, who can't live as we were created to, don't have to in order to have God's love. Now God offers us Christ's faithful life of love in exchange for our not living the life of love that we are created for. He did this as proof of his love for us. If we accept this, the Father credits Christ's life of love to us as if we lived this kind of life. (good bye guilt and shame over our failures to love as God deserves and others as we are designed to)

2. And not only does God offer to credit us with this perfect life but God put the consequences of our not living this kind of life; the life we were designed to live, onto Christ. (good bye judgment, condemnation and rejection)

For a further discussion of God's solution and its necessity click here.

Now, guess what? When we recognize we can never resolve the deep-seated conflict within or ever satisfy our deepest longing and then believe and accept his offer, it's done! There is no more guilt, no more shame, no more condemnation or rejection by God! It's gone!!! Hard to believe, but it's true. And that is now our only issue; do we believe this? The more we do, the freer we are. This is God's free offer to us if we accept it. Do you accept it?

We still blow it!

But don't we still blow it? Yes, we still do. We still don't love as we are designed to but God no longer looks at this as necessary for extending his complete, uninterrupted love to us. If we accept his offer He now sees and accepts Christ's perfect record as ours, credited to our "account" if you will.  

This would be like us having a seriously overdrawn bank account and then someone else with an account that has an unlimited balance assigns their account over to us.  It was earned by them, but out of their love for us and desire that we experience their wealth, they assigned it over and put our name on the account. Not only is everything in this other account now ours, but the funds from this new account were used to zero out our overdraw account and close it.  That old account is now gone along with all its debt. Everything in the assigned account is now ours. 

And not only so, but before God made this offer, we were still his enemies. How? We opposed God by trying to be our own god and fill our need for love with things other than God (and still do) which doesn't work i.e. it is not possible because it violates our design. We are designed for the infinite, not the finite-limited creation.  

It is also a lie because it says we can be who God designed us to be without Him. If we are designed for infinite love and God is that infinite love, this is not only impossible but it dishonors him for who he truly is... the only Source of true and infinite love and life.

Seeking to be for ourselves what only God can be for us caused a rift in our relationship with God. This blocked our experience of his love for us (not his actual love) so we no longer felt or experienced it. (If however, we receive his offer in Christ that barrier is removed and God's love is now freely available to us. To accept His offer is saying we can't be all we are designed to be apart from our Creator). 

Once we began to see this; once this really seeps into the core of our being, we fall in love with Him and Christ for doing this for us. The more we see how antagonistic we have been and are to God and all He has done to completely remedy this, the more we fall in love with Him. What an incredible gift this is! How can we ever thank God enough? 

Glad you asked. 

Now that we have been freed of the obligation to give God his due honor (since Christ satisfied this for us), we are free to live this life of love he's designed us for (which also "just happens" to bring us the greatest sense of meaning and purpose since this is why we were made to begin with). 

We now are loved in such a way that when we "get it" it draws out of us a desire to love back and a trust in following His direction (how can we not trust someone who would do all this for us). Now we have a reason to love as we were originally designed to. The love from someone else (i.e. God) we were designed to experience from the beginning has been restored back to us and is now fully ours, never to be taken away. We no longer live the life of love we were designed to live because we have to in order to be loved again. We now have that love we were originally designed to experience. It was secured by someone else's efforts, not ours. Therefore, it is completely ours and can never be cut off or blocked again. Now we love others out of love and gratitude for what God and Christ did for us and desire to share this with others. 

We also now want to show Him off (honor/glorify Him) to others because, for the first time, we now understand how amazing He is and now see He deserves our love and honor and that others also need this love/Him. We want to live for his honor and their good. And the way we do is to love him and others in the same way he loved us.

BUT, I can't relate to what you describe above. I am just not feeling it.

Now the truth is most don't experience this inner conflict I described in the beginning, on a conscious level and to the extent I have described it. However, what we all experience is a longing for love. This we are, more or less, far more conscious of then the inner conflict mentioned above. (In fact, most of us don't even experience how great this desire for love is until we "fall in love" for the first time and experience a longing we didn't know existed before then).

And if we have some success in finding love or if we have grown up in a nurturing environment due to stable and loving parents, we won't know much (or at least be aware of the depth) of this conflict. 

But we all know what it's like to lose love in some form or another. Separation from a dear friend, spouse, loving parent, or sibling due to a variety of reasons, such as relocation, death, estrangement, etc should hit home for most of us. And when we lose it, then we become aware of a longing for what was lost. The simple reality is none of us can live without love and a sense of value very long. 

All of this points to the nature of our make up and raises the question, where does this come from? How can we express a personal need for a loving relationship if we came about by accident from an impersonal universe? No matter how much we try to reason away this central part of our make up, there it is, staring us in the face when we least expect it. 

Do you wish to continue on this path of longing or do you wish to turn to the path you were created for? He extends the offer I have mentioned. Will you accept and receive it?

Further discussion on depression click here

Further discussion on our being finite click here

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Footnotes:

¹We cannot get away from this or set it aside. We bump up against this everyday in everything we do. We all intrinsically seek to be valued. In a word we are hard wired for love.

²We can't because we are "running on empty." We are void of the love we were designed to receive/experience/participate in and must have in order to love others sacrificially. It's just not in us to do so on our own. It has to come from somewhere outside of us; from another source; a Source we cut ourselves off from.

³doing as we are designed to do only comes out of being who we were designed to be...fully connected to the source of life and love, God himself.