How are we able to admit our unfaithfulness

We can - and will - only acknowledge the depth of our brokenness to the extent that we recognize God's perfect acceptance - embrace - of us and love for us in and through Christ. 

If our understanding of - and trust in - His total acceptance and love is incomplete, so will be our ¹ability to see and acknowledge our distrust of God, i.e., the essence of our sinful condition. 

And what is the full extent of God's acceptance and embrace of us? It is the same as His loving embrace of His Son, i.e., it is perfect-complete-total! 

"The glory that you have given me I have given to them, that they may be one even as we are one, I in them and you in me, that they may become perfectly one, so that the world may know that you sent me and loved them even as you loved me." - Jesus, praying to His Father right before he's betrayed by Judas and crucified the next day - John 17:22-23 ESV

How much does the Father love the Son? However much that is, is how much he loves us i.e., it is the same as His love for His Son!!! It is equal to His love for Jesus!!! Total and infinite!! Selah (reflect on this and let it sink in. Ask God to reveal this to you more fully).

The only way to grasp this is to ask God to reveal this to you. Otherwise, you (we) will not see it.

Jesus- 

"All things have been handed over to me by my Father, and no one knows the Son except the Father, and no one knows the Father except the Son and anyone to whom the Son chooses to reveal him." - Matthew 11:27 ESV

The apostle Paul -

"For this reason I bow my knees before the Father, from whom every family in heaven and on earth is named (i.e., bears His image) that according to the riches of his glory he may grant you to be strengthened with power through his Spirit in your inner being, so that Christ may dwell in your hearts through faith—that you, being rooted and grounded in love, may have strength (that comes to us through faith) to comprehend with all the saints what is the breadth and length and height and depth, and to know the love of Christ that surpasses knowledge, that you may be filled with all the fullness of God." - Eph 3:14-19 ESV

For a closer look at the above passage, click here. You may wish to bookmark it to read later after you are done with this article.

Why does God love us this way?

Because...

1. We are like God - i.e. in His image - and if we are in Christ we are His beloved child, not unlike Christ is in the image of God and His only begotten Son. 

2. Christ lived a life of perfect faithfulness to His Father - the life that God designed and intended us to ²live (but failed to live and still fail now). He lived His life to honor His Father but also to honor (share His glory with) us. 

Through our faith in Christ, God credits Christ's perfectly righteous life to us as if we lived it. In Christ we are now perfect in the eyes of God. We will never be more acceptable or embraced by God than we are right now! 

Do you believe this? Paul in his letter to the church in Rome says to ³"reckon" (consider) it so.

And we won't experience the depth of God's love until we ⁴acknowledge the depth of our distrust in Him i.e., our lack of faith in this infinite provision. And we won't admit that distrust until we grasp (by faith) His total acceptance and loving embrace of us. These go hand in hand. We must see both to fully know and partake of God in the fullness of His love. 

We must acknowledge our distrust of God and turn from it, so we might more clearly and fully see "...the breadth and length and height and depth, and to know the love of Christ that surpasses knowledge, that you may be filled with all the fullness of God."

For a fuller discussion of the love the Father and Son have for each other, click here

For a fuller discussion on why God values us as bearers of His image, click here

For a fuller discussion of Christ being the only begotten Son, click here. 

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Footnotes:

¹We will only admit the extent of our brokenness to others (and ourselves) to the extent we believe we will still be accepted and not rejected when we do. 

We all want to be fully seen but also fully accepted. But to be fully seen usually means we will be rejected because of our brokenness, except with God who fully sees us and still totally embraces us, warts and all.  

²as well as died the death we should have died.

 ³Rom 6:11

English Standard Version
So you also must consider yourselves dead to sin and alive to God in Christ Jesus.

Berean Standard Bible
So you too must count yourselves dead to sin, but alive to God in Christ Jesus.

Berean Literal Bible
So also you⁺, reckon yourselves to be dead indeed to sin, but living to God in Christ Jesus.

King James Bible
Likewise reckon ye also yourselves to be dead indeed unto sin, but alive unto God through Jesus Christ our Lord.

Rom 6:11 is not saying we are dead to the allure (temptation) of sin, but to its legal claim of condemnation on us. That claim is forever gone because our judgment was totally laid on Christ. Jesus paid it all!!! It is finished!!!

“Come now, let us reason together, says the Lord: though your sins are like scarlet, they shall be as white as snow..." - Isa 1:18a ESV

must count - λογίζεσθε (logizesthe)
Verb - Present Imperative Middle or Passive - 2nd Person Plural
Strong's 3049: To reckon, count, charge with; reason, decide, conclude; think, suppose.

⁴the more we grasp how great our distrust of God is the more we realize and appreciate how great his love must be to still love us in light of this distrust.

Is "tribalism" ok or racist?

We are most comfortable with those who are most like us. 

Why?

Because we are more affirmed and feel safer (more comfortable) around those like us. It is common ("natural or normal") for everyone to feel this way. It is not unique to any one group - white, black, brown, yellow, etc. 

Why?

It takes a lot more self-denial and sacrifice to relate to those who do not have the same values and interests as we do. If we have any interaction with others we have nothing in common with, or who are at least like us, our focus and energy must be on them, not on our interests and needs. ¹This kind of interaction is more about giving than getting. It requires less effort and sacrifice to interact with those most like us.

For the above reasons, being with those most like us tends to energize us. Being with those least like us tends to drain us. If we are not full of love, loving others different from us is impossible to maintain ⁷long-term. 

For the same reasons, harmony is more pleasant and enjoyable than disharmony. We are naturally drawn to harmony. Harmonious relationships tend to energize us. They affirm and reinforce our interests. Those that drain us tend to be challenging with more conflict.

There is also a practical benefit of working with those who are most like us. When we are in a joint effort, uniformity can result in greater cooperation and efficiency. This is good, not bad.

Some accuse others of racism for having these sentiments and being naturally drawn to those most like themselves. Yet, if we are honest, this is common with all groups. 

Is this ⁵racist? If so, every last one of us - regardless of our ethnicity - is a racist. Hanging out with others for the above reasons is common to everyone. 

Some call this ²tribalism. But is tribalism racism? It is no different from when you and I prefer being with loving friends or family ("our tribe") rather than with a group of strangers.

Having ³these sentiments is common in all relationships and "groups." The very act of accusing someone else of being guilty of this - as if they aren't themselves "guilty" - is exercising this very attitude by the accusation.  

This is why a loving family is so valuable (if we are blessed enough to have one). A healthy, loving family is a place where we are best known for both our strengths and flaws, and still most accepted and embraced. It is usually where we feel most free to be our real selves, with the least concern about ridicule or rejection.

Racism, on the other hand, is very different. It is an attitude of superiority based on one's ethnicity (group/"tribe"). It is believing we - our "group" - are better, ⁶objectively, more important or valuable than others. This may be true subjectively - i.e. more valuable to us - but not objectively.

But isn't this also true of friendships? No one considers having friends racist. Good friends are good, important, and valuable to us personally. They encourage and strengthen us. That is a good thing, is it not?

While close relationships may be more important to us subjectively, they are not necessarily so objectively.

On the other hand, it is not wrong to love those who are ¹different from us. It is what we are called to do. In fact, as followers of Christ, we are called to love those opposed to us, i.e., our enemies. It just takes the most energy of all interactions and ⁴directly the least immediately rewarding, if not harmful - but potentially the most rewarding indirectly. 

To be able to love those least like us is not natural but ¹supernatural. For this reason, it is good to love others who are different from us. It requires greater dependence on God to love others sacrificially. 

In fact, it is impossible to love sacrificially until we experience the sacrificial love of God offered to us in and through Christ. 

God calls us to this because this is how He loves us...

“You have heard that it was said, ‘You shall love your neighbor and hate your enemy.’ But I say to you, Love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you, so that you may be sons of your Father who is in heaven. For he makes his sun rise on the evil and on the good, and sends rain on the just and on the unjust. For if you love those who love you, what reward do you have? Do not even the tax collectors do the same? And if you greet only your brothers, what more are you doing than others? Do not even the Gentiles do the same? You therefore must be perfect, as your heavenly Father is perfect. " - Matt 5:43-48

But again, is it wrong to gravitate to others we are most like and have the most in common with? This is actually the basis for friendship. No one would suggest friendship is wrong. Yet some would have us believe it is and call it ⁵"tribalism" - which is the "first cousin" to racism according to those who throw these derogatory labels around.  

The irony is it is usually actual racists that push the narrative that being drawn to others most like us is wrong when, in fact, everyone participates in friendship and considers it not only perfectly normal but healthy.  

We are all far more alike than different.

One thing all of us have in common, that unites us at the strongest and most basic level, is we all desire to be loved, valued, affirmed, and important, i.e., we are designed for love because we are designed to be in relationship with God, who is love. We are all like God, who continuously gives and receives love among the Father, Son, and Spirit. We are in His image.  

And what is God like? The most valuable person of all. Without Him, nothing else exists. We are valuable by virtue of being like God - i.e., in His image.

In summary, it is not wrong or racist to feel more comfortable around those who are more like us. Nevertheless, we are called to a higher standard and to reach out and love those who are least like us, even our enemies. Not loving those different from us is not racist. Unloving, yes. Racist, no. 

For a discussion on identity politics Click here

For a discussion on the joys and challenges of giving, click here. 

To see if God has anything to say about immigrants or immigration, click here.

For a discussion on values, culture, and racism, click here.

For a discussion on racism and the necessity of forgiveness, click here

For a discussion on what divides us, click here.

For a discussion of the harmful nature of identity politics, click here.

What is the nature of racial privilege? Click here for a discussion.

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Footnotes:

¹People who are culturally different from us can have one main thing in common with us. A relationship with God through Christ. This connection is stronger than any natural ties we may have with those most like us culturally, intellectually, in appearance, etc. This is the most significant and deepest common denominator we can have. Especially those least like us naturally. What lovers of Christ have in common is even more significant than the connection among a loving family - though very much like it in important ways. 

If we are among others who have this deep spiritual connection with God, we are dealing with others who are focused on giving and not getting. This is the strongest possible bond we can have with anyone, even immediate family who do not have a love relationship with Christ. True believers are people who seek to love their neighbors as they love themselves. This is the greatest and most unifying value of all. This is also why Christ called loving God and others the greatest commandments.

When this is the central focus of a group of people, it is the strongest point of unity and overrides all other differences. In fact, it allows us to enjoy the differences of others as their uniqueness is a reflection of the creativity of God. This is unity within diversity.

This is why a strong church can be filled with a diversity of cultures and ethnicities yet still be united under this most central point of unity. A relationship of receiving love from our Creator and loving Him in return and our neighbor as we love ourselves. This is greater than any differences and can override them all when we are governed by love.

The two greatest commandments are the greatest not simply because we are told they are but because they summarize the purpose of our existence and the very nature of God and His creatures, i.e., to love as we are loved.

Anything we place a higher value on over our relationship with the Creator is a form of idolatry. Nothing is more valuable than God. Not our culture, race, vocation, or even our family.

This is why churches segregated by race or culture - e.g., white, black, Hispanic, Jewish, etc. - are likely not as honoring to God. To be segregated in this way is to value our culture and personal preferences over loving and valuing God and our neighbor. 

If we are separated by a language barrier, that is a separate issue that can be addressed on a church-to-church basis. But outside of this...

 "...in Christ Jesus you are all sons of God, through faith. For as many of you as were baptized into Christ have put on Christ. There is neither Jew nor Greek, there is neither slave nor free, there is no male and female, for you are all one in Christ Jesus. And if you are Christ’s, then you are Abraham’s offspring, heirs according to promise." - Gal 3:26-29

²Some subcultures are so strong they have their very own "lingo."  Some examples would be the hip-hop world, the technology world, the academic world, the world of sports, the medical or health world, etc.  These are subcultures within a culture. 

³Having common values is so important that if we do not, it can even lead to husbands and wives separating. We call it "incompatibility" when, in fact, it is actually a matter of love, or the lack of it. 

⁴By directly, I mean we rarely gain any direct benefit from those we seek to love who are different from us. The benefit we may gain, however, is from seeing others blessed by our efforts to love them. It is an indirect gain. This is not something that comes from them, but comes as a result of loving others as Christ loves, i.e., seeing them flourish because of our efforts. This is what God is like. We are acting like God when we love in this way.  

⁵There can be a problem with tribalism, but it isn't racism as some assert. The problem is it is basically about me, my needs, my wants. So in that sense it is wrong and contrary to our initial design, not because it's racist. 

This focus on self is the result of our rebellion against God and our failed attempt to be our own God. Based on the current condition of the world, it is clear we have failed miserably at being our own gods.

Everything is a mess because of our rebellion. We are now missing the love we once had in a relationship with God, caused by our choosing to disconnect from God, the very Source of love. Now we go about trying to fill that void caused by His absence through created things and our own efforts to obtain them.

The fact is we weren't designed to be our own god and to make life work without the only true God. We were designed to be in union with Him. The source of love, life, and all things, and experiencing a constant flow of love from Him. This enables us to pass love (from Him) on to others. 

We are not an endless spring of love. Only God is. We, on the other hand, are vessels or conduits that can hold and pass on the flow of love from God to and through us to others.

The main point about tribalism is it's not unique to a certain race but common among all humanity, for we have all rebelled from God. But this is not racism as is asserted by some. It is the broken condition of all humanity -  including you and I - not a particular group or race.

⁶ VS subjectively, where someone or some group can be more valuable to us personally.

⁷ Unless or until we find out that all humanity has far more in common at the most fundamental level of who we are as bearers of God's image, i.e., we are all designed by God to love and be loved by Him and to pass on that love to others. This is God's greatest desire i.e. will, directive, commandment etc.

Can there be peace on earth?

Due to humanity's spiritual bankruptcy (i.e., brokenness) and the resulting inclination to first take care of "number one" (ourselves), there will never be a complete utopia in this life - the goal of ¹all economic or political systems.

To have a true utopia, the individual parts must be sound. A system, no matter how perfect, cannot work properly if the individual parts are not whole and working properly. 

If you build a wooden structure with boards eaten out by termites, the overall structure is unsound and must be reinforced or artificially propped up (externally with a rigid structure i.e. laws), or it will collapse under any sustained weight or pressure.

This does not mean we should abandon living a ²productive life and seek to love God and our neighbor as He has called and designed us to. However, the only way we can organically (internally) is when we are fully plugged in, united, and engaged with God, the Source of life, love, and all things. If we are not in union with the Source of life, we are empty vessels at best, focused on filling the void - or trying to. This results in us being takers - in need of being made whole - not givers. The emptiness must be filled as it was designed to be if we are to be givers. 

The solution isn't implementing (or imposing on us or others) a particular economic or political system ¹externally, but our being fully connected and plugged into God himself, which is an internal solution that restores wholeness, resulting in things working outwardly (externally) as designed. 

Hanging plastic fruit on a tree does not make it a fruit tree. Only giving it internally what it needs - i.e., watering, fertilizing, and sunshine (or rather Sonshine, if you will) - will cause it to bear fruit.

If all the individual parts of a system - i.e., you and I - are not sound, the system will not work, no matter how perfect the outward design of that system may be. Any system composed of flawed individuals (parts) can only produce flawed, inferior outcomes. 

For this reason, a perfect system will never work; only perfect values and people willing and able (empowered by God, the Source of life) to pursue them. 

Ultimately, this can only occur through people who recognize the greatness, worth, beauty, and glory of their Creator, and their dependence on Him and accountability to Him.

The solution ultimately is spiritual (internal), not political or economic (external). It is in first knowing God and then making him known (the first and second greatest commandments and motto of Columbia International University - the college I attended), not just in word but in deed. To make Him known, we must first know Him in all His infinite love to and for us. 

The real question isn't if there can be peace on earth, but how and when will it occur. For more on this, click here.  

For a discussion on giving as you have received, click here.  

For a discussion on obedience as the fruit of abiding, click here.

For a discussion on being fruitful, i.e., sewing and reaping, click here.

For a discussion on the basis of morality, click here.

For a discussion on what it means to "obey the authorities" in Romans 13 Click here

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Footnotes:

¹I am referring to economic systems - such as socialism or communism - externally imposed on us by the state and not internally and organically advanced. We are social-relational creatures, and as God's image-bearers, we are designed to receive and give love, not forced to.  

However, we are also spiritually bankrupt and broken - i.e., unplugged bearers of God's image made to be in union with (plugged into) their Creator. We can no more fully be who we are designed to be than a Christmas tree, ornately decorated, sitting in a dark room, unplugged from the electrical outlet. 

For more on our brokenness, click here.  

²We are clearly instructed in many places within the bible to be "fruitful." Most of these verses address spiritual fruit. However, spiritual fruit is usually manifested by actions that often produce material fruit. In fact, any action that produces material fruit should be driven spiritually, i.e. by the Spirit/Love. If it is, it is valid. It is spiritual in motivation (i.e. for God's glory) with a material outcome.  

For several posts addressing operating in the Spirit, click here. 

³There is nothing wrong with personal consumption; not in itself. If we do not consume vital resources -- water, food, shelter etc. -- we die. Consumption is not just necessary, but vital. Consumption isn't our problem.

A pursuit that is solely driven by personal and excessive consumption as a substitute for God (i.e. an idol) is our challenge, not consumption itself. 

*Private ownership of property and the opportunity to acquire property through diligence is assumed throughout the bible. The founding fathers who penned America's Constitution and the Declaration of Independence acknowledged this when they declared we had a "right" to life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness. What most don't know is that the pursuit of happiness is the right to the fruits of our labor, i.e., property.  

Christ instructs us to pray for his rule and reign to come on earth as it is in heaven. 

"Your kingdom come, your will be done, on earth as it is in heaven..." - Matt 6:10 

Is this a prayer to usher in the Kingdom now or in the future? Both. 

For a discussion on what the kingdom of God is, click here. 

Which is it... sinners or like God?!

God's love for ⁴us is without conditions. FULL STOP! i.e. to be fully accepted and embraced by God requires nothing from us. God's love for us is based on someone else meeting the requirements, ¹not us. Accepting the offer that Jesus made is the only thing required of us. 

However, that doesn't mean there is not a good reason for His infinite love for us. There is a major reason. He values and therefore loves us because we are like him - in His image. 

This has nothing to do with what we do but with who we are, who God made us to be. It is not our trying to make ourselves more acceptable and lovable to Him or others.

This is why He loved us before we lifted one finger for Him. In fact, even while we were still in our state of rebellious distrust of Him.

"...but God shows his love for us in that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us..." - Romans 5:8

"...But God, being rich in mercy, because of the great love with which he loved us, even when we were dead in our trespasses, made us alive together with Christ—by grace you have been saved—..." -  Ephesians 2:4-5 

Have you ever scratched your head, wondering why he would value and love us while we were still in a state of rebellious distrust toward Him (i.e. "sin")? It is because our rebellion did not cancel out or erase our being like God, it only marred and suppressed it - though severely. 

This resulted in our spiritual sight and sense going completely dormant (until His Spirit opens our eyes). We are now "unplugged" from God (the source of all things), broken, and blind to seeing His infinite worth, beauty, and love. As a result, we ascribe the worst possible intent by God on why we struggle or experience loss and pain. The Bible describes this as being spiritually blind and dead to God. 

But our capacity for love, light, and life didn't go away and is still fully intact - we are still like God - even when we don't trust Him i.e. we still are designed to love and be loved, and we long for this. We are hard-wired for love, if you will, because God is love and we are like Him, created to be in a community of love with Him. 

God values and loves our being like Him because we still have the capacity to fully partake of the community of love that God is as Father and Son in, by, and through the Spirit. 

This capacity for infinite love never went away after we turned away from Him in the garden; it only ceased to function properly i.e. it went dormant if you will. In our broken and spiritually blind condition, we now long for the wrong things - instead of the only true thing that can fill our longing for love - because we are blind to the true Source of love and life - i.e. our Creator.

A recap and summary 

Our being in God's image is vital to how God sees us and who we are. This means there is a good reason for Him to love us i.e. because of who we are, not what we do. 

We are not just rebellious - aka "dirty rotten sinners." This is true but only half the story - and the far lesser half - once we accept his offer. The more important half is we are also still like God with an infinite capacity to fully engage, delight in, and commune with the Infinite God and experience His infinite love, glory, and joy!!!

Being like God has nothing to do with what we do for others (God and other bearers of His image) - when it comes to establishing a good standing with Him - but has to do with something about us - i.e. who we are, not what we do. 

God's love has nothing to do with something that comes from us or is offered by us - i.e. something we do in an attempt to earn His love or appease His disapproval. 

Our only requirement is to recognize that Christ did everything necessary to fully restore us to His Father and accept this as a free gift (the essence of the gospel - good news - of grace). 

Do you receive this? If you only know this in your head but haven't fully believed it, you only need to recognize He did everything necessary to restore you so He can pour out His love on you. A love He already has for you that you are blocking by not believing this good news. Because nothing you can do will restore you to God...nothing - not your abilities or good deeds!!! 

Accept His offer of complete restoration. If you are sincere in accepting and receiving His offer of perfect love, He will legally and immediately restore you now, and ²completely upon His return.

"The Spirit and the Bride say, 'Come.' And let the one who hears say, 'Come.' And let the one who is thirsty come; let the one who desires take the water of life without price (you can't buy it or earn His acceptance of you)." - Revelation 22:17 

For God to have a relationship with us in the same way the Father and the Son have with each other, we had to be like him in one essential way i.e., we had to be able to receive and return love to God like God does between and among the Father and Son, in, by, and through the Spirit - i.e., God IS love. Love is the central and essential core of who God is!!! We are like Him i.e., we are hard-wired for this same love. 

But love for God first, not just between each other. Our love for others must flow out of our love for God. This is why the greatest commandment is to love God first, then our neighbors. 

Does God need anything from us? No! He has Himself i.e., He is complete within Himself.

But when we say he loves us without conditions, that is not to say he doesn't have longings and desires for us and from us. He yearns to commune with us. Why? Because we are like God and God is love. He longs for us to experience the fullness of who He is so, like Him, we too experience it.

He is the source of love, life, and all things and knows our greatest meaning, purpose, and joy is found only in Him!! His calling us to love Him above everything else is because He knows He is our best and desires our best i.e. God is love.

James 4:5 says:

"Or do you suppose it is to no purpose that the Scripture says, 'He yearns jealously over the spirit that he has made to dwell in us' ”?

Nevertheless, His love for us is without conditions i.e. no deeds are required from us in order for His love to be set on us.

This is possible only because Christ fulfilled all the conditions ³required and necessary for him to remove the barrier between us and love us freely and fully. Even to the point that the Father loves us in the very same way He loves His only eternally begotten Son. Jn 17:23.

"I in them and you in me, that they may become perfectly one, so that the world may know that you sent me and loved them even as you loved me."

So does our love and pursuit of God matter since it's not required?

While there should never be ⁴expectations or conditions put on us for the gifts freely given to ⁵us or on others for the gifts we gladly give them, it is legitimate to enjoy and eagerly anticipate the appreciation from others for those gifts.

When gratitude is shown for the gifts we graciously receive, it delights the giver because they know their gift (and love) is not just accepted but also enjoyed and appreciated.

This reminds us of the 10 lepers that Christ healed and only one returned and showed gratitude. As a result, Christ engaged him further because he demonstrated by returning to Christ that he appreciated what Christ did. Lk 17:12-19.

To hope for and enjoy someone else's appreciation for what we give them is different than ⁵demanding their gratitude.

This also happens to be how God loves us and enjoys a relationship with us. God doesn't ⁶demand our obedience in exchange for His love. He delights in it. We are this way because God is this way. We are in his image.

In order for him to have this kind of love relationship with us we had to be like him as much possible without actually being him.

For a further discussion on why God loves rebels but not rebellion click here 

Are we rebels against God? Click here 

For a further discussion on the solution to our rebellion click here. 

For a further discussion on why God delights in our love click here.

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¹Who met them? Christ!!! For only He could, not us!

²The claims of Christ and His return!! and Knowing God but not fully yet.

³this is necessary because we fail to. No one fulfills the greatest commandment to love God with everything we are and have. Do you? I certainly don't!

⁴Expectations and conditions come from those who need love. God wants our love but doesn't need it. He is love as a community of love among the Father, Son, and Spirit. And when we are filled with His love we are the same way i.e. we don't need the love of others because we already have the perfect love of God.

⁵Who is "us." Is it humanity in general or us who have trusted Christ? It is both. God values all his image bearers by virtue of them being like him. But only those who accept his offer of restoration actually participate in and experience that love as we are designed to.

⁶We demand things from others only because we believe we must have them in order to be loved. God doesn't because He is already a community of love between the Father and Son in, by, and through the Spirit. He doesn't need us in order to be complete (whole) and therefore does not need to demand our obedience. 

However because He is love he delights in our entering into and participating in his love. He seeks - "requires" - us to love him because he knows that is where we are most complete and find greatest joy.

loving and valuing...the same?

In considering the definition of love, I found the word value helpful. But I have also found myself wondering how ¹value is similar and different from love. 

Is there a difference? If so, what is it? Let's dive in.

Objective vs personal value

Something can be objectively valuable without our personally valuing it or even being aware of its value.

To say it another way, something can be infinitely valuable (objectively) without being valuable to us personally (subjectively).

God would be a classic example. He is infinitely valuable (without Him nothing would be) though He is ²not personally valued by most - at least not to the extent of His true value. I would even suggest that only Christ fully grasps and appreciates the value of the Father. 

For something to have actual value means there is something objectively and innately valuable, important, or significant about a person or thing first, regardless of whether we personally value them (it) or not. 

How are subjective value and love connected?

To personally value something is to also have affection for it i.e. to feel love for something. Loving affection involves experiencing emotional delight in that thing or person we value. Loving affection is an indication we have personal regard ³for the value of someone or something. It is both subjective as well as objective. 

Valuing something more than its worth

On the other hand, to value someone or something does not necessarily make them or it valuable objectively, only subjectively. This involves personal affection toward what is considered valuable by the beholder, even when it may not be valuable objectively, i.e., it is not actually or objectively as valuable to others as we think or feel. 

For example, we can meet someone charming who we feel could be important to us, who turns out to be nothing like they presented themselves to be. The reality of who they are doesn't match the appeal of who we thought they were or who they presented themselves to be.  

Valuing things vs persons

A classic example of a thing (vs a person) not being as valuable as we thought would be a product that doesn't equal or live up to the promise or "sales pitch" e.g. a job, a certain level of wealth, a potential partner, a particular car, a bigger house, even something simple like a purse or a pair of shoes etc. As we learn and experience more about these things, the actual value doesn't match the hope - or hype. As a result, we often despise the very things we sought so diligently when they do not deliver what we sought them for. 

It is pretty common for all of us to place a higher value on someone or something more than it's actually worth. 

Overvaluing is not the same as something having no value at all

Overvaluing something doesn't mean there is no value. Certain things may give you some happiness initially, but not to the extent you hoped, thought, or were told. They may be good things, but not the best thing, and not to the extent we thought.

One reason this difference is significant is that we may have a greater affection or love for something beyond what it deserves. We can love something to the point of worshiping it (and often do) when in reality it will never deliver long-term what we want, need, or believe it will. 

Not fully experiencing something's true value

We can also appreciate the beauty and value of something objectively without ever personally participating in its full value e.g. we can see and smell an exquisite meal -- which is participation on a limited level.  And observe others eating and enjoying it, but we will not fully experience or benefit from it until we eat it ourselves. It is no less valuable because we don't eat it; it is just not fully valuable to us experientially or personally i.e. subjectively. 

We can observe the beauty or strength of another, yet never personally experience these qualities through direct participation. A fiancé can admire the physical beauty of his soon-to-be bride (or the strength and protection of her soon-to-be husband) but not fully partake of and experience that beauty (or strength) until they are married.

Value is ⁴foundational and a fundamental part of loving. It must exist first. But having loving affection for someone is personal in nature, whereas someone or something having value is an objective fact. 

Valuing from afar vs the nearness of love 

Valuing has more to do with our recognition of something's value from afar. Love/affection has more to do with intimacy (closeness) and personal enjoyment of that which is valuable.

Also, when we value something, it is usually more utilitarian or functional than affectionate.  

The most valuable of all

God is the Creator and Sustainer of all things, thereby making Him the most significant and valuable being in the universe. Without Him, nothing exists, including you and I. 

Yet many do not recognize this or have any affection toward Him i.e. God is valuable (objectively) even when He is not ⁵personally (subjectively) valued.  

A skewed view of God

Some even despise God for various reasons, despite His infinite worth. Usually, this is because He didn't come through for them in the way they thought he should. For these people, even though God is objectively valuable, he is not personally (subjectively) attractive.  

The problem however isn't with God but our view that He is some kind of celestial butler who should cater to our every whim. But this would not be God at all. God is all-knowing, loving, and able to do what He knows is best, not what we may think is best. 

By definition, God is controlled by no one. He is guided by His perfect understanding, not our limited understanding. He is the reason He does what He does in the way He does it. Because only He is all wise, loving, and powerful. We are not - though we often think and act as if we are. We are often pretty foolish (fooled).

God values us?

God not only values us as His image bearers but also enjoys our interaction with him. He is delighted when we are delighted in Him. He is happy when we are happy in Him. He finds pleasure in our experiencing pleasure in and from our relationship, fellowship, and communion with Him. In short, He not only values us, He also loves us. Or if you wish you could say He not only loves us but values us. 

God values all his image-bearers by virtue of them being like Him, but he does not have a personal relationship with or affection for all of them. That relationship with the accompanying affections is experienced by those who recognize Him as the Source of love, life, and all things. Those he has personal affection for, He pursues and draws to himself. 

If this article tugs at your heart in any way, He is pursuing you. If it doesn't, pray He has mercy on you and stirs your heart to seek Him. No one comes to Christ unless the Father draws them. Jn 6:44

For a discussion on why God delights in our delight, click here.

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¹by value I simply mean something of importance, e.g. When we say someone has strong values, we mean certain things are very important to them, such as family. When we say someone has strong family values, we mean they place high importance on their family over other persons or things. 

²The only reason God is not personally valued, i.e. loved by most, is because they do not recognize and acknowledge all they are and have is from Him. By definition, this is part of what makes Him God i.e. He is the Creator and Sustainer of all things.

And this is usually because of all the pain and suffering they experience and see others experience. They assume if God existed, he would address all the pain and suffering (which He has, only not on their terms but on His - which are the best terms, because only He knows what is best since He knows and sees all things). We question and doubt God's love and goodness because we don't understand the cause and purpose behind pain. For a further discussion on this click here.

³something cannot be truly loved or worth loving until it is first valuable (objectively) and then valued (subjectively).

⁴The opposite is true for the same reason. Someone who has personal regard for us also has affection for us. 

This, however, doesn't mean someone has to have affection for us to treat us in a loving manner. They can treat us well simply because they recognize our value, i.e. that we are worth being treated well by virtue of being in God's image - i.e. like God. And because God has called us to treat others as we wish to be treated, we desire to honor his wishes. 

⁵How many people regularly and consistently show God gratitude for all they are and have? Do you do this yourself? 

Here's a clue. None of us does. That's why someone else (Christ) had to do this for us and actually did it. If you believe this, He will credit this to you as if you did it.   

Does God want anything?

As the Creator and Sustainer of everything that exists, naturally God must value Himself. That is a given. But how does God feel about the things He created, like you and I?

God values us as well. But why?

Does God get something from us that he needs? No. God needs nothing. 

‭‭"The God who made the world and everything in it, being Lord of heaven and earth, does not live in temples made by man, nor is he served by human hands, as though he needed anything since he himself gives to all mankind life and breath and everything" - the apostle Paul - Acts‬ 17:24‭-‬25‬ ‭

Everything that is comes from Him. 

God doesn't need anything because he has everything He needs within the community of perfect love between the Father and Son in, by, and through the Spirit. Everything else that is, flows out of God and all His fullness, i.e., who He is - a fullness so great that God simply spoke everything else that is into existence. He is the only being who can say, "I AM!"

So why then does He value us? 

It is because we are in his image - i.e. like Him. But how or why does this matter? 

By virtue of our being like Him we can give Him something he desires and enjoys. It is through Christ first (the Son of man and God) and now us, that he reveals Himself to others, that he might also bring others into the divine dance of love and joy within and among the community of Father and Son and Spirit. In short, He desires others (you and I) to experience Him, for our sake, and to share this with those like Him, i.e. other image-bearers, so they may also partake of Him, i.e. for ¹their sake.

Wanting something is not necessarily selfish. We can desire and find joy in someone else's gain solely for the benefit it brings to them. 

The reason we are this way is that this is the way God is - we are like him. 

We can also relate to this because we know what it feels like to want the best for our children. We want this solely for their sake, not ours, simply because they are our kids; they come from us, not completely unlike the way we come from God, i.e. we are his offspring; bearers of His image. 

Some other links that touch on different aspects of God valuing us:

Does God value us

What does God value in us

Our worth is based on what?

Why in God's name does he love us?

God's love is based on who or what?

Created for glory

Lovable vs lovely

Hardwired for greatness

The most valuable values us 

Our worth God's glory

Giving and receiving glory

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Footnote:

¹Though we gain joy from others benefiting by our care and love, the joy is in knowing they benefited, i.e. we don't do it for our joy, but theirs. It just so happens we also get joy in this because we are like God, who receives joy in bringing joy to others. 

What does God value in us?

Why is humility so important? 

What best brings it about? 

Is there any connection between our value, as bearers of God's image, and humility?

We will start by looking at humility and then how this is connected to being like God - Jesus i.e. in His image.

There are at least three foundational truths to grasp for humility to increase in us...

1. We must know - in our heart, not just our head - that all that we are and have comes from God - especially our being in His image with the capacity to partake of and participate in the union of Father, Son, and Spirit.

2. We must know God values us regardless of our failures (or struggles). In fact, He actually uses struggles to advance us and strengthen our relationship with Him.

3. We must know God values us regardless of what anyone else thinks or says about us - i.e. we don't need to ¹promote ourselves and derive our sense of value through the praise (or criticism) of others. 

We are already fully and eternally valued and cherished by God. If God is for us, who can ultimately be against us? Hint...nothing and no one...including ourselves! 

What is the basis of God's value of us? It is threefold.

1. God made us like Himself. It is His image in us that He values. Or it may be more accurate to say he values us because we are in his image.

But why does God value his image in us? What is it about His image He finds so attractive and appealing, even though we are so broken, often ugly, full of doubts and distrust of Him? (...or maybe in part indirectly because of these - i.e., because of the humility our failures and struggles help develop in us.  Plus what normal fathers care isn't more heightened when his child is in more distress, not less). 

Christ also being in the image of God may be an important first clue to our value and humility. Let's take a closer look.

God knows our capacity and sees fully what we are becoming and will be that day we are finally and fully glorified and perfectly united with Him in ²eternity (because we are in his image we will be more ³like God on that day than we can even imagine or now see).

2. God no longer holds our failures against us - Christ already fully addressed them ⁴legally. 

In Christ, there is now no barrier between God and us on his side of the relationship (though we wander back and forth in our trust of Him i.e. our side of the relationship always fluctuates, but His never does). 

Therefore, He fully and perfectly receives and embraces us in His love. He will never love us anymore (now or in eternity) more than He already does because of Christ. To use a description by Paul, we are seated in heavenly places in Christ, at this very moment and every moment since we first trusted Christ! 

 

3. He knows where our struggles and failures are ultimately taking us. Since, in Christ, our rebellious distrust of God is no longer a legal issue, He now focuses on how to maximize the use of our failures and struggles ⁴practically i.e., how to use them to humble us - if we let Him - and how they advance our increased participation in Him in all His infinite glory, both now but particularly in eternity. 

Our eternal reward is God Himself. The more we humble ourselves, the more we see and experience Him in the fullness of His glory and the greater our joy.

God is thrilled and delighted in us - because He is thrilled and delighted in Himself and His Son first, and how we are becoming more like His Son through our struggles - and how we will finally be like Him when we are fully in union with Him and fully glorified alongside Him the moment we step into eternity. Because, at that time, our union with Him will be complete and perfect in the same way His Son's is - and was from eternity past and is again since his resurrection - the Son who is already and fully in the perfect image of the Father. 

We will be like the prodigal son that his father lost, ⁵who returned. For now, God eagerly watches our progress as we grow in greater trust. He awaits our perfect restoration and union with him (in the same way the prodigal son's father did). At that time God will throw His arms around us, kiss our neck and throw a feast for us, ⁹celebrating our complete union and exaltation with Him forevermore. We will fully experience our glory by fully partaking of His. 

Like Christ, His only begotten Son, we too are his sons and daughters (even though Christ is the only eternally begotten Son; like Christ, we are the sons and daughters of the all-glorious Creator God). 

Because of what Christ did for us, He earned the status of being the first born of many "brothers" i.e. of additional sons and daughters. 

He was also the first (first fruits) to go through death and come out the other side fully glorified and victorious. This suggests there are others like Him to follow i.e. others who put their complete trust in Christ (as Christ did in the Father) and what He did to restore us to the Father. As God's sons and daughters in Christ, we are next, for we too have died in Christ and therefore will also be resurrected in glory.

Imagine the delight the Father had in His Son from all eternity past and the excitement he felt upon His return to Heaven and being restored to His full glory and by His side again. The Father has this same ⁶eager anticipation and excitement for being with us and our being united with Him. He values us as His sons and daughters in the same way He values Jesus, His eternal, only begotten Son.

And what a day of joy and celebration that will be for God and us! The greatness of our capacity to be like God (Christ) and enjoy and reflect him throughout eternity will only be 2nd to Christ Himself! 

And the greater our ⁷humbling in this life - whether self imposed (through self denial and sacrificial love of others) or through painful circumstances - the more fully we will participate and engage in, experience, and enjoy the Father and Son in, by, and through the Spirit - both now, but more importantly throughout eternity. At that time we will fully join in the celebration and divine dance of glory and love between the Father and Son in, through, and by the Spirit. The greater our humility and trust now the more we enter into and partake of the only true God now but especially in eternity.

So never shy away from discipline, obedience to the Father, struggle, disappointment, setbacks, suffering, but embrace them - in the same way Christ did. The more we do, the more we become like Christ, and the more fully we will partake of glory (God's and our own), in the same way Christ does.

God Himself is our reward and struggle is often the primary means by which we draw nearer to Him. The ⁸more you partake of challenges of any kind - either self imposed or externally imposed - and let them humble you, the more fully you will be able to engage and participate in God in all His wonder, majesty, beauty and glory both now but especially throughout eternity.

So count it all joy when you go through various struggles. Fix your eyes on Jesus the author and finisher of our faith who for the joy set before Him endured the greatest pain. Get ready for His celebration of you and your joining Him in the greatest party you will ever have or experience. A celebration that never ends! This is the essence and glory of heaven.

For a discussion on what makes Christ unique as the only begotten son click here. 

For a discussion on the humility of God click here

For a discussion on why evil exists click here.

For a discussion on if we are accountable for Adams rebellion click here.

For a discussion on who we are but who we are not yet but will be click here.

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¹Self promotion - exaltation - is at the heart of pride and pride is the opposite of humility. We seek to promote ourselves to fill the void caused by God's absence, brought about by our rejecting and distrusting God in all His care, love, value, support, advancement and promotion of us. To lay down attempts to advance ourselves and receive the love, care and support of another requires humility and trust (and not just any "other" but the all wise, loving and powerful Creator God). It is acknowledging our dependence on another versus being our own god i.e. vs being independent. It is the reversal of the spirit of distrust and rebellion displayed by Adam in the Eden.

²We have the short view. God has the long view which happens to also be the most important and true view.  

"So we do not lose heart. Though our outer self is wasting away, our inner self is being renewed day by day. For this light momentary affliction is preparing for us an eternal weight of glory beyond all comparison, as we look not to the things that are seen but to the things that are unseen. For the things that are seen are transient (temporary, fleeting), but the things that are unseen are eternal (permanent, unshakable)" 2 Cor 4:16‭-‬18

³The potential of our being like God and fully experiencing Him lies dormant in us as bearers of His image. This capacity was not lost in our rebellion but lethally suppressed i.e. we died spiritually the day we rebelled and chose to be our own god. When we rebelled and broke trust with God, our spiritual light went out (though the capacity for that light to be turned back on remained). When we turned away from God, our full brilliance - glory - went dormant. What was left was a spiritual void - hunger - that we now seek to fill. But due to our rebellious distrust of the only One who can fill it, we seek glory outside of and apart from God through creation, instead of in and through Him who is the Creator.

Now we treat God as our enemy and the one that blocks (prevents) us from obtaining fullness of life - or so we think - through created things instead of the Creator of them. 

 

But is this true? Do we really think he's our enemy? How do we know? How can we tell?

If we get angry, when our plans to gain life outside of God are thwarted, we are ultimately shaking our fist at God. We believe He's the cause of our pain when it is His absence - due to our distrust of Him - that is the actual cause.

Physical death is evidence and the outward manifestation of our internal spiritual death that occurred at the rebellion of our original parents, Adam and Eve. In order for our true spiritual brilliance to be completely manifested in and through us again, we have to abandon our pursuit of being our own god and be fully united with - plugged into - the source of life and love - the all glorious, brilliant, majestic, and beautiful God who is our Creator and the Source of us and all things. God alone is our true life source - the source of all glory and brilliance...and of our glory and our brilliance - we are not. 

Being reunited with God - the source of life, love and all things - only occurs in and through placing our trust in Christs efforts on our behalf, not our own.

⁴Our rebellious unbelief (sin) is addressed in 2 ways:

Legally - objectively. Our rebellion is no longer held against us because of Christ and His bearing the full legal consequences of that rebellion i.e. God's condemnation and judgment for our rebellion are gone, removed forever and never revisited again by God. Christ bore all of it when He died and came back to life, putting these away from us forever.

Practically - subjectively. As we become more aware of the depth of our rebellious distrust we are humbled and increasingly understand the significance of Christ fully removing the legal consequences of our rebellion and our desperate need for Him.

⁵Due to his son humbling himself because of his failure to make it on his own.

⁶And not the Father only but the Son also eagerly anticipated His return as well.

⁷Challenges will either make us distrusting and bitter or better. It is our choice. We must choose to believe He is working for our good or not i.e. we are tested on whether we believe he is for us and not against us, just as Christ was tested in the wilderness, in the Garden of Gethsemane and on the cross.

⁸Do not question God's love and the good intentions He has toward you when allowing you to enter into and go through struggles or fiery trails. He is working in you things you do not yet fully see or understand, to humble you and enable you to be more like his Son so that you can better feast with Him in eternity as the Son does.

So "count it all joy, my brothers, when you meet trials of various kinds, for you know that the testing of your faith produces steadfastness. And let steadfastness have its full effect, that you may be perfect and complete, lacking in nothing..." - Jas 1:2‭-‬5

 

⁹If this is the response of a finite and flawed human father, imagine the response of a perfect, infinitely wise, loving, and all powerful heavenly Father. I would say we can't and won't be able to fully grasp this until that day we are looking face to face into His eyes.


A personal note regarding this post...

I used to dread dying and have always hoped I would die quietly in my sleep some day but after understanding the truths above I am inclined to accept the most challenging death, and now recognize going through such a death might humble me further so I might be exalted even more when I finally step into eternity with God. 

The closeness of our union with God and extent of our partaking of God in eternity is in proportion to our humility in this present life. 

Don't shy away from the things that humble you, embrace them. Doing so increases your capacity to experience more of God's embrace of you. Not His actual embrace (i.e. He already perfectly receives us now in Christ) - but our more fully receiving and experiencing His embrace of us now emotionally. This is already perfectly ours in Christ because of His efforts (not yours) on your behalf.