loving and valuing...the same?

In considering the definition of love, I found the word value helpful. But I have also found myself wondering how ¹value is similar to love and how it's different. 

Is there a difference between loving and ¹valuing someone or something? If so, what is it? 

Something can be objectively valuable without us personally valuing it or even being aware of its value.

To say it another way, something can be infinitely valuable (objectively) without being personally (subjectively) valuable to us.

God would be a classic example of someone (or thing) infinitely valuable who is often ²not personally valuable - at least not to the extent of His true value. 

For something to have actual value means there is something objectively and innately valuable - important or significant - about a person or thing first regardless of whether we personally value them (it) or not. 

How is subjective value, and love connected?

To personally value something is to also have affection for it i.e. to love it. Loving affection involves emotional delight in that thing or person we value. Loving affection is an indication we have personal regard ³for the value of someone or something. It is subjective, as well as objective. 

On the other hand, to value someone or thing does not necessarily make them or it valuable objectively, only subjectively. This involves personal affection toward what is considered valuable when it may not be as valuable objectively as we feel, i.e. it is not actually or objectively valuable. 

For example, we can meet someone charming that we feel could be important to us, that turns out to be nothing like they presented themselves to be. The reality of who they are doesn't match the appeal of who we thought they were or they presented themselves (itself) to be.  

A classic example of a thing (vs a person) not being as valuable as we thought would be a product that doesn't equal or live up to the "sales pitch" e.g. a job, a certain level of wealth, a particular car, a bigger house, even something simple like a purse or a pair of shoes etc. As we learn more about these things, the reality doesn't match the hope - or hype if you prefer.

This is actually common for all of us i.e. to place a higher value on someone or something than it's actually worth. 

This doesn't mean there is no value. Certain things may give you some happiness initially, but not to the extent you thought or were told. They may be good things, but not the best thing and not to the extent we thought or hoped for.

One reason this difference is significant is we may have a greater affection or love for something beyond what it deserves. We can love something to the point of worshiping it (and often do) when in reality it will never deliver long-term what we want, need, or believe it will. 

We can also appreciate the beauty and value of something objectively without ever personally participating in its full value e.g. we can see and smell an exquisite meal -- which is participation on a limited level.  And observe others eating and enjoying it, but we will not fully experience or benefit from it until we eat it ourselves. It is no less valuable because we don't eat it, it is just not that valuable to us personally. 

We can observe the beauty or strength of another, yet never personally experience these qualities through direct interaction. A fiancé can admire the physical beauty of his soon-to-be bride but not fully participate in and experience that beauty until they are married.

Value is ⁴foundational and a fundamental part of loving. It must exist first. But having loving affection for someone is personal in nature, whereas someone or thing having value is an objective fact. 

Valuing has more to do with our recognition of something's value from afar. Love/affection has more to do with intimacy (closeness) and personal enjoyment of that which is valuable.

Also, when we value something, it is usually more utilitarian or functional than affectionate.  

The most valuable

God is the Creator and Sustainer of all things thereby making Him the most significant and valuable being in the universe. Yet many do not recognize Him as such or have any affections toward Him i.e. God is valuable (objectively) even when He is not personally (subjectively) valued.  

Some even despise God for various reasons despite His infinite worth. Usually this is because He didn't come through for them in the way they thought he should. For these people, even though God is objectively valuable, he is not personally (subjectively) attractive.  

The problem however isn't God but our belief that he is some kind of celestial butler catering to our every desire. But this would not be God at all. By definition God is controlled by no one but Himself. He is the reason He does what He does in the way He does it. He answers only to Himself.

God values us?

God not only values us as his image bearers but enjoys our interaction with him. He is delighted when we are delighted in Him. He is happy when we are happy in Him. He finds pleasure in our experiencing pleasure in and from our relationship, fellowship, and communion with him. In short he not only values us he loves us. Or if you wish you could say he not only loves us but he values us. 

God values all his image-bearers by virtue of them being like Him, but he does not have personal affection for all of them. Those he has personal affection for he seeks out and reconciles to himself. 

If this tugs at your heart, He is seeking you. If it doesn't pray He stirs your heart to seek Him. 

For a discussion on why God delights in our delight click here.

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¹by value I simply mean something of importance, e.g. When we say someone has strong values, we mean certain things are very important to them, such as family. When we say someone has strong family values, we mean they place high importance on their family over other things. 

²The only reason God is not  personally valued, i.e. loved, by many is because they do not recognize and acknowledge all they are and have is from him.

And this is usually because of all the pain and suffering they experience and see others experience. They assume if God existed he would address all the pain and suffering (which He has, only not on their terms but on His). But this is because they don't understand the cause and purpose behind it. For a further discussion on this click here.

³something cannot be truly loved or worth loving until it is first valuable (objectively) and then valued (subjectively).

⁴The opposite is true for the same reason. Someone who has personal regard for us also has affection for us. 

This, however, doesn't mean someone has to have affection for us to treat us in a loving manner. They can treat us well simply because they recognize our value, i.e. that we are worth being treated well by virtue of being in God's image - i.e. like God - and because God has called us to treat others as we wish to be treated.