Is "tribalism" ok or racist?

We are most comfortable with those who are most like us. 

Why?

Because we are more affirmed and feel safer (more comfortable) around those like us. It is common ("natural or normal") for everyone to feel this way. It is not unique to any one group - white, black, brown, yellow, etc. 

Why?

It takes a lot more self-denial and sacrifice to relate to those who do not have the same values and interests as we do. If we have any interaction with others we have nothing in common with, or who are at least like us, our focus and energy must be on them, not on our interests and needs. ¹This kind of interaction is more about giving than getting. It requires less effort and sacrifice to interact with those most like us.

For the above reasons, being with those most like us tends to energize us. Being with those least like us tends to drain us. If we are not full of love, loving others different from us is impossible to maintain ⁷long-term. 

For the same reasons, harmony is more pleasant and enjoyable than disharmony. We are naturally drawn to harmony. Harmonious relationships tend to energize us. They affirm and reinforce our interests. Those that drain us tend to be challenging with more conflict.

There is also a practical benefit of working with those who are most like us. When we are in a joint effort, uniformity can result in greater cooperation and efficiency. This is good, not bad.

Some accuse others of racism for having these sentiments and being naturally drawn to those most like themselves. Yet, if we are honest, this is common with all groups. 

Is this ⁵racist? If so, every last one of us - regardless of our ethnicity - is a racist. Hanging out with others for the above reasons is common to everyone. 

Some call this ²tribalism. But is tribalism racism? It is no different from when you and I prefer being with loving friends or family ("our tribe") rather than with a group of strangers.

Having ³these sentiments is common in all relationships and "groups." The very act of accusing someone else of being guilty of this - as if they aren't themselves "guilty" - is exercising this very attitude by the accusation.  

This is why a loving family is so valuable (if we are blessed enough to have one). A healthy, loving family is a place where we are best known for both our strengths and flaws, and still most accepted and embraced. It is usually where we feel most free to be our real selves, with the least concern about ridicule or rejection.

Racism, on the other hand, is very different. It is an attitude of superiority based on one's ethnicity (group/"tribe"). It is believing we - our "group" - are better, ⁶objectively, more important or valuable than others. This may be true subjectively - i.e. more valuable to us - but not objectively.

But isn't this also true of friendships? No one considers having friends racist. Good friends are good, important, and valuable to us personally. They encourage and strengthen us. That is a good thing, is it not?

While close relationships may be more important to us subjectively, they are not necessarily so objectively.

On the other hand, it is not wrong to love those who are ¹different from us. It is what we are called to do. In fact, as followers of Christ, we are called to love those opposed to us, i.e., our enemies. It just takes the most energy of all interactions and ⁴directly the least immediately rewarding, if not harmful - but potentially the most rewarding indirectly. 

To be able to love those least like us is not natural but ¹supernatural. For this reason, it is good to love others who are different from us. It requires greater dependence on God to love others sacrificially. 

In fact, it is impossible to love sacrificially until we experience the sacrificial love of God offered to us in and through Christ. 

God calls us to this because this is how He loves us...

“You have heard that it was said, ‘You shall love your neighbor and hate your enemy.’ But I say to you, Love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you, so that you may be sons of your Father who is in heaven. For he makes his sun rise on the evil and on the good, and sends rain on the just and on the unjust. For if you love those who love you, what reward do you have? Do not even the tax collectors do the same? And if you greet only your brothers, what more are you doing than others? Do not even the Gentiles do the same? You therefore must be perfect, as your heavenly Father is perfect. " - Matt 5:43-48

But again, is it wrong to gravitate to others we are most like and have the most in common with? This is actually the basis for friendship. No one would suggest friendship is wrong. Yet some would have us believe it is and call it ⁵"tribalism" - which is the "first cousin" to racism according to those who throw these derogatory labels around.  

The irony is it is usually actual racists that push the narrative that being drawn to others most like us is wrong when, in fact, everyone participates in friendship and considers it not only perfectly normal but healthy.  

We are all far more alike than different.

One thing all of us have in common, that unites us at the strongest and most basic level, is we all desire to be loved, valued, affirmed, and important, i.e., we are designed for love because we are designed to be in relationship with God, who is love. We are all like God, who continuously gives and receives love among the Father, Son, and Spirit. We are in His image.  

And what is God like? The most valuable person of all. Without Him, nothing else exists. We are valuable by virtue of being like God - i.e., in His image.

In summary, it is not wrong or racist to feel more comfortable around those who are more like us. Nevertheless, we are called to a higher standard and to reach out and love those who are least like us, even our enemies. Not loving those different from us is not racist. Unloving, yes. Racist, no. 

For a discussion on identity politics Click here

For a discussion on the joys and challenges of giving, click here. 

To see if God has anything to say about immigrants or immigration, click here.

For a discussion on values, culture, and racism, click here.

For a discussion on racism and the necessity of forgiveness, click here

For a discussion on what divides us, click here.

For a discussion of the harmful nature of identity politics, click here.

What is the nature of racial privilege? Click here for a discussion.

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Footnotes:

¹People who are culturally different from us can have one main thing in common with us. A relationship with God through Christ. This connection is stronger than any natural ties we may have with those most like us culturally, intellectually, in appearance, etc. This is the most significant and deepest common denominator we can have. Especially those least like us naturally. What lovers of Christ have in common is even more significant than the connection among a loving family - though very much like it in important ways. 

If we are among others who have this deep spiritual connection with God, we are dealing with others who are focused on giving and not getting. This is the strongest possible bond we can have with anyone, even immediate family who do not have a love relationship with Christ. True believers are people who seek to love their neighbors as they love themselves. This is the greatest and most unifying value of all. This is also why Christ called loving God and others the greatest commandments.

When this is the central focus of a group of people, it is the strongest point of unity and overrides all other differences. In fact, it allows us to enjoy the differences of others as their uniqueness is a reflection of the creativity of God. This is unity within diversity.

This is why a strong church can be filled with a diversity of cultures and ethnicities yet still be united under this most central point of unity. A relationship of receiving love from our Creator and loving Him in return and our neighbor as we love ourselves. This is greater than any differences and can override them all when we are governed by love.

The two greatest commandments are the greatest not simply because we are told they are but because they summarize the purpose of our existence and the very nature of God and His creatures, i.e., to love as we are loved.

Anything we place a higher value on over our relationship with the Creator is a form of idolatry. Nothing is more valuable than God. Not our culture, race, vocation, or even our family.

This is why churches segregated by race or culture - e.g., white, black, Hispanic, Jewish, etc. - are likely not as honoring to God. To be segregated in this way is to value our culture and personal preferences over loving and valuing God and our neighbor. 

If we are separated by a language barrier, that is a separate issue that can be addressed on a church-to-church basis. But outside of this...

 "...in Christ Jesus you are all sons of God, through faith. For as many of you as were baptized into Christ have put on Christ. There is neither Jew nor Greek, there is neither slave nor free, there is no male and female, for you are all one in Christ Jesus. And if you are Christ’s, then you are Abraham’s offspring, heirs according to promise." - Gal 3:26-29

²Some subcultures are so strong they have their very own "lingo."  Some examples would be the hip-hop world, the technology world, the academic world, the world of sports, the medical or health world, etc.  These are subcultures within a culture. 

³Having common values is so important that if we do not, it can even lead to husbands and wives separating. We call it "incompatibility" when, in fact, it is actually a matter of love, or the lack of it. 

⁴By directly, I mean we rarely gain any direct benefit from those we seek to love who are different from us. The benefit we may gain, however, is from seeing others blessed by our efforts to love them. It is an indirect gain. This is not something that comes from them, but comes as a result of loving others as Christ loves, i.e., seeing them flourish because of our efforts. This is what God is like. We are acting like God when we love in this way.  

⁵There can be a problem with tribalism, but it isn't racism as some assert. The problem is it is basically about me, my needs, my wants. So in that sense it is wrong and contrary to our initial design, not because it's racist. 

This focus on self is the result of our rebellion against God and our failed attempt to be our own God. Based on the current condition of the world, it is clear we have failed miserably at being our own gods.

Everything is a mess because of our rebellion. We are now missing the love we once had in a relationship with God, caused by our choosing to disconnect from God, the very Source of love. Now we go about trying to fill that void caused by His absence through created things and our own efforts to obtain them.

The fact is we weren't designed to be our own god and to make life work without the only true God. We were designed to be in union with Him. The source of love, life, and all things, and experiencing a constant flow of love from Him. This enables us to pass love (from Him) on to others. 

We are not an endless spring of love. Only God is. We, on the other hand, are vessels or conduits that can hold and pass on the flow of love from God to and through us to others.

The main point about tribalism is it's not unique to a certain race but common among all humanity, for we have all rebelled from God. But this is not racism as is asserted by some. It is the broken condition of all humanity -  including you and I - not a particular group or race.

⁶ VS subjectively, where someone or some group can be more valuable to us personally.

⁷ Unless or until we find out that all humanity has far more in common at the most fundamental level of who we are as bearers of God's image, i.e., we are all designed by God to love and be loved by Him and to pass on that love to others. This is God's greatest desire i.e. will, directive, commandment etc.

Why do we struggle?

Whatever struggles we go through are only the ¹struggles God knows we need to go through to refine us, draw us closer to Him, and make us more like His Son (Rom 8:28-29). He ¹allows struggles so we might display Him better and delight in Him more. This is for our greatest joy and His highest glory i.e. He is our greatest joy and honoring Him is our highest pursuit. 

God knows exactly what He's ¹doing (and allowing). Nothing is by accident or catches God off guard (though it may catch us off guard).

The why, how, and when of our struggles are by God's wise and loving ¹design, no matter how it might seem the opposite at the time. 

The bottom line? 

God is simply calling us to trust Him more fully. This is the purpose behind everything we experience. Whether our experiences are good, bad, or ugly, the end goal is always the same i.e. His highest glory which is also our greatest good and joy.

The very fact that we struggle with the things we do is because there are lessons yet to be learned from (and through) them. Otherwise, our struggle would cease being struggles.

As we learn those lessons, the struggle subsides. There is less internal turmoil and greater calmness — even though the outer turmoil (circumstances) that cause us to struggle may or may not change.

We experience a peace that is beyond reason (it "passes understanding" Phil Phil 4:6-7), i.e., a peace that doesn't make sense in light of our circumstances. This is the essence of contentment (Phil 4:10-13). It is resting in God. 

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Footnotes:

¹struggles are the internal and organic outcome of our distrust of God. God works according to our trust or distrust. You could say how God works mirrors what we most need. The more we trust, the less internal turmoil we experience i.e., we are less anxious and upset over difficult circumstances.

malicious intent or unintentional incompetence

Have you ever meet someone who always assumes the worst behind others hurtful actions? Are you someone who approachs life this way yourself? Many do and aren't even aware of it. They go about life with a chip on their shoulder and always seem to be on their guard against others hurting them. 

Why is this? It is almost always due to past hurts. As a result, they're jaded and ¹quick to assume there is malicious intent behind others actions i.e. they think someone is "out to get them." When, in fact, they are more often than not the victim of unintentional incompetence or weakness by the offender, instead of ill intent.

There are people who definitely hurt others out of willful and malicious intent deliberately. But not all. ³I would guess most don't.

I know this is true for myself. Often I have hurt someone, not even knowing how. If I didn't know how I hurt them, clearly I didn't have bad intentions in doing so. 

I would venture to guess this is true for the vast majority of us when we offend others or are offended.

Why does someone assume the worst behind hurtful actions? It is usually because of past hurt(s) they experienced that they have buried and not let go of. As a result, ²they harbor bitterness and are jaded towards anyone who hurts or mistreats them (or hurts those they care about), and they assume the worst intentions behind the offender's actions.

When an offense occurs, does intent matter?

Absolutely. Even our legal system distinguishes between premeditated murder and manslaughter. As a result, the former is a greater offense that carries a greater punishment.

The bible also makes this distinction..

"And that servant who knew his master’s will but did not get ready or act according to his will, will receive a severe beating. But the one who did not know, and did what deserved a beating, will receive a light beating. Everyone to whom much was given, of him much will be required, and from him to whom they entrusted much, they will demand the more." - Luke 12:47-48 ESV

Knowing that someone hurt you unintentionally rather than maliciously makes a difference. It takes some of the "sting" out of the offense and makes it easier to forgive.

The good news is that whether we hurt people and cause them loss or harm intentionally or unknowingly, there is one who took on and experienced the full consequences of the pain we cause others so we don't have to. His name is Jesus. Have you met Him yet? If not, He'd like to meet you.

For a discussion on the underlying primary wound we all experience, click here

Are we a victim or an offender? Click here

Being a victim or playing the victim? Click here

For a discussion on the difference between being sinful and finite, click here.

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Footnotes:

¹To assume the worst possible motive behind an offense may be more an indication of our own intentions, and that we are vindictive vs ignorant because we harbor bitterness over a past offense and have not let it go, i.e., because of bitterness, someone may have malicious intent behind their offensive behavior more than someone who is not bitter. As a result, they assume and project this same motive to others.

²anger and bitterness affect how we interpret everything around us and what happens to us. If we are bitter, we go about life with a victim mindset rather than a learning, growing, and overcoming mindset. As a result, we often skew and misinterpret things instead of seeing them clearly as they truly are. 

³the sad part is people like this tend to trust no one and are suspicious of everything. This skews everything they see and causes them to misinterpret circumstances and experiences in life and the world in general, especially regarding their view of God and Christ. 

I'd go so far as saying that atheism has far more to do with bitterness than intellect. If you haven't noticed, atheists are usually very angry (indignant and self-righteous) in a subtle but mean and cutting way. Particularly in their attitude towards God and those who trust Him. 

The conversion of CS Lewis is particularly revealing. He lost his mom early on in his life and became an atheist. This is true of most atheists. Something painful occurred in their life that triggered them to go in that direction.