Why do we struggle?

Whatever struggles we go through are only the ¹struggles God knows we need to go through to refine us, draw us closer to Him, and make us more like His Son (Rom 8:28-29). He ¹allows struggles so we might display Him better and delight in Him more. This is for our greatest joy and His highest glory i.e. He is our greatest joy and honoring Him is our highest pursuit. 

God knows exactly what He's ¹doing (and allowing). Nothing is by accident or catches God off guard (though it may catch us off guard).

The why, how, and when of our struggles are by God's wise and loving ¹design, no matter how it might seem the opposite at the time. 

The bottom line? 

God is simply calling us to trust Him more fully. This is the purpose behind everything we experience. Whether our experiences are good, bad, or ugly, the end goal is always the same i.e. His highest glory which is also our greatest good and joy.

The very fact that we struggle with the things we do is because there are lessons yet to be learned from (and through) them. Otherwise, our struggle would cease being struggles.

As we learn those lessons, the struggle subsides. There is less internal turmoil and greater calmness — even though the outer turmoil (circumstances) that cause us to struggle may or may not change.

We experience a peace that is beyond reason (it "passes understanding" Phil Phil 4:6-7), i.e., a peace that doesn't make sense in light of our circumstances. This is the essence of contentment (Phil 4:10-13). It is resting in God. 

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Footnotes:

¹struggles are the internal and organic outcome of our distrust of God. God works according to our trust or distrust. You could say how God works mirrors what we most need. The more we trust, the less internal turmoil we experience i.e. we are less anxious and upset over difficult circumstances.

malicious intent or unintentional incompetence

Have you ever meet someone who always assumes the worst behind others hurtful actions? Are you someone who approachs life this way yourself? Many do and aren't even aware of it. They go about life with a chip on their shoulder and always seem to be on their guard against others hurting them. 

Why is this? It is almost always due to past hurts. As a result, they're jaded and ¹quick to assume there is malicious intent behind others actions i.e. they think someone is "out to get them." When, in fact, they are more often than not the victim of unintentional incompetence or weakness by the offender, instead of ill intent.

There are people who definitely hurt others out of willful and malicious intent deliberately. But not all. ³I would guess most don't.

I know this is true for myself. Often I have hurt someone, not even knowing how. If I didn't know how I hurt them, clearly I didn't have bad intentions in doing so. 

I would venture to guess this is true for the vast majority of us when we offend others or are offended.

Why does someone assume the worst behind hurtful actions? It is usually because of past hurt(s) they experienced that they have buried and not let go of. As a result, ²they harbor bitterness and are jaded towards anyone who hurts or mistreats them (or hurts those they care about), and they assume the worst intentions behind the offender's actions.

When an offense occurs, does intent matter?

Absolutely. Even our legal system distinguishes between premeditated murder and manslaughter. As a result, the former is a greater offense that carries a greater punishment.

The bible also makes this distinction..

"And that servant who knew his master’s will but did not get ready or act according to his will, will receive a severe beating. But the one who did not know, and did what deserved a beating, will receive a light beating. Everyone to whom much was given, of him much will be required, and from him to whom they entrusted much, they will demand the more." - Luke 12:47-48 ESV

Knowing someone hurt you unintentionally instead of maliciously, makes a difference. It takes some of the "sting" out of the offense and makes it easier to forgive.

The good news is whether we hurt people and cause them loss or harm intentionally or unknowingly, there is one who took on and experienced the full consequences of the pain we cause others so we don't have to. His name is Jesus. Have you met Him yet? If not, He'd like to meet you.

For a discussion on the underlying primary wound we all experience, click here

Are we a victim or an offender? Click here

Being a victim or playing the victim? Click here

For a discussion on the difference between being sinful and finite, click here.

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Footnotes:

¹To assume the worst possible motive behind an offense may be more an indication of our own intentions, and that we are vindictive vs ignorant because we harbor bitterness over a past offense and have not let it go i.e. because of bitterness, someone may have malicious intent behind their offensive behavior more than someone who is not bitter. As a result, they assume and project this same motive to others.

²anger and bitterness affect how we interpret everything around us and what happens to us. If we are bitter, we go about life with a victim mindset instead of an learning, growing, overcoming mindset. As a result, we often skew and misinterpret things instead of seeing them clearly as they truly are. 

³the sad part is people like this tend to trust no one and are suspicious of everything. This skews everything they see and causes them to misinterpret circumstances and experiences in life and the world in general, especially regarding their view of God and Christ. 

I'd go so far as saying that atheism has far more to do with bitterness than intellect. If you haven't noticed, atheists are usually very angry in a subtle but mean and cutting way. Particularly in their attitude towards God and those who trust Him. 

The conversion of CS Lewis is particularly revealing. He lost his mom early on in his life and became an atheist. This is true of most atheists. Something painful occurred in their life that triggered them to go in that direction.