Have you ever meet someone who always see the worst behind others bad actions? Are you someone who approachs life this way yourself? Many do and aren't even aware of it.
We are often ¹quick to assume there is malicious intent behind someones bad actions i.e. that someone is "out to get us" when they treat us wrong. When, in fact, we are more often then not, the victim of unintentional incompetence or weakness by the offender.
Some definitely hurt others out of willful and malicious intent deliberately. But not all. ³I would guess most don't.
I know this is true for myself. Often I have hurt others, not even knowing how. If I didn't know how I hurt them, clearly I didn't have bad intentions to do so.
I would venture to guess this is true for the vast majority of us when we offend others or are offended.
Why does someone assume the worst intent behind hurtful actions? It is usually because of past hurts they experienced that they have not been able to let go of. As a result, ²they harbor bitterness and are jaded towards anyone that hurts or mistreats them, and assume the worst intentions.
When an offense occurs does intent matter?
Absolutely. Even our legal system distinguishes between premeditated murder and manslaughter. As a result, the former carries a much greater punishment.
The bible also makes this same distinction..
"And that servant who knew his master’s will but did not get ready or act according to his will, will receive a severe beating. But the one who did not know, and did what deserved a beating, will receive a light beating. Everyone to whom much was given, of him much will be required, and from him to whom they entrusted much, they will demand the more." - Luke 12:47-48 ESV
Why does someone assume the worst intent behind hurtful actions? It is usually because of past hurts they experienced that they have not been able to let go of. As a result, ²they harbor bitterness and are jaded towards anyone that hurts or mistreats them, and assume the worst intentions.
When an offense occurs does intent matter?
Absolutely. Even our legal system distinguishes between premeditated murder and manslaughter. As a result, the former carries a much greater punishment.
The bible also makes this same distinction..
"And that servant who knew his master’s will but did not get ready or act according to his will, will receive a severe beating. But the one who did not know, and did what deserved a beating, will receive a light beating. Everyone to whom much was given, of him much will be required, and from him to whom they entrusted much, they will demand the more." - Luke 12:47-48 ESV
Knowing someone hurt you unintentionally instead of maliciously, makes a difference. It takes some of the "sting" out of the offense and makes it easier to forgive.
The good news is whether we hurt people and cause them loss or harm intentionally or unknowingly, there is one who took on and experienced the full consequences of the pain we cause others so we don't have to. His name is Jesus. Have you met Him yet? If not, He'd like to meet you.
For a discussion on the underlying primary wound we all experience, click here
The good news is whether we hurt people and cause them loss or harm intentionally or unknowingly, there is one who took on and experienced the full consequences of the pain we cause others so we don't have to. His name is Jesus. Have you met Him yet? If not, He'd like to meet you.
For a discussion on the underlying primary wound we all experience, click here
Are we a victim or an offender? Click here
Being a victim or playing the victim? Click here
Being a victim or playing the victim? Click here
For a discussion on the difference between being sinful and finite, click here.
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Footnotes:
¹To assume the worst possible motive behind an offense may be more an indication of our own intentions, and that we are vindictive vs ignorant because we harbor bitterness over a past offense and have not let them go i.e. because of our bitterness, we may have malicious intent more than those who are not bitter. As a result, we project this same motive on others.
Footnotes:
¹To assume the worst possible motive behind an offense may be more an indication of our own intentions, and that we are vindictive vs ignorant because we harbor bitterness over a past offense and have not let them go i.e. because of our bitterness, we may have malicious intent more than those who are not bitter. As a result, we project this same motive on others.
²anger and bitterness affect how we interpret everything around us and what happens to us. We go about life with a victim mind set instead of victor mindset. As a result, we often skew and misinterpret things instead of seeing them as they truly are.
³the sad part is people like this trust no one and suspect everything. If they're suspicions are unfounded, this skews everything they see and causes them to misinterpret circumstances and experiences in life and the world in general as well as their view of God and Christ.
