Racism and the importance and necessity of forgiveness

I originally wrote this a couple of days after the events in Charolettsville, Va. (Aug 2017). I was not going to publish it on this blog in part because there were many others raising good and thoughtful points. However, since the media seems to have only gone further over the top in trying to fuel the flames of division, and the insanity has continued and even escalated; I felt it was time to throw in my 2 cents. 

There is much anger and confusion over *these events. A large part of the problem is several on each side of this event (conflict) are accusing the other side of attitudes or actions (fueled by the media, "protesters" and various "gatekeepers") of guilt by association... as if merely being a certain race somehow means you are a bad person or a racist. This assertion is totally based on identity, the essence of *identity politics. It has nothing to do with the actual conduct of a given individual. It is assigning guilt by association.

For example, does anyone think it is fair to be looked upon or treated like a criminal (in the case of a "black" person or another person "of color") or as a racist (in the case of a "white" person) because a small percentage within a given "group" are criminals or racists (whether in the past or the present)? 

The unfortunate reality is bad people within "our group" may unfairly and poorly reflect on us, but this doesn't automatically mean we hold the same views or treat others in the same way as those actually guilty of wrongdoing. Guilt by association is all too common with how different groups view one another today - and I would suggest their are deliberate attempts to promote this (mainly be the news media, but also in sports and other arenas) and create even greater division. This is the essence of stereotyping. 

I am placing these various identities in "quotes" because this is the unfortunate state of things. Group identities have wrongly been imposed on various groups by others (whether within or outside of our "group"). Identity politics in truth is divisive; I would argue by design. And unfortunately it appears to be a primary tool of those who use it [such as the media and supporters of these different groups] to do exactly that, create division. Just labeling oneself (or being labeled) as a white this or a black that separates/divides instead of unifies.

We may be different in certain superficial ways but the reality is we are all humans created in the image of God and as has been said, we all bleed the same red blood. So inherently, by Gods design, the most important, common, and fundamental things about us are far more significant (primary, not secondary) than the differences. 

Is it fair to be stereotyped? I think we can all agree it is not. The black man has all too often been suspected of wrongdoing merely for being black. This is wrong. No one (regardless of what "group" or "race" we are) wishes to be accused of something merely because of the "group" we are "in" or because of the actions of others within "our" group. All of us have experienced being accused of something we are not guilty of merely because we are in a certain group i.e. guilt by association. No one likes it and rightfully so.

Denouncing wrongs and taking action

So how can we best address this? Is complaining or striking out in anger with accusations, verbal attacks, or destructive behavior the solution? I trust everyone can agree, this is not the solution. Martin Luther King Jr., a primary figure in the civil rights movement and the movement as a whole did not advocate violence.

Some thoughts:

We must denounce the wrongdoing from within our own "group" in the clearest and strongest terms. For sake of this discussion and some examples, the "white man" must clearly denounce racism. There is never a justification for it, ever. For the "black man" he must clearly denounce the crimes of gang violence or other things a black man is all too often falsely associated with merely by virtue of his color/race. To not do so by either could communicate we condone harmful behavior by individuals within "our group." And if we condone it, we in effect are agreeing with it. 

 

Racism is racism...crime is crime regardless of who's involved or what reasons are given to justify it. Harm is done irregardless of the reasons. It also does not matter who promotes or condones it. It is wrong and should be clearly called out when and where appropriate by those within the accused group.  The universal problem is we are quick to see inconsistencies in "someone else's group" and slow to see it in our own. 

The other way to separate ourselves from the things we are falsely accused of is to prove by our actions, we are wrongfully accused. If we wish to not be falsely accused of certain views or behaviors, we must be careful not to conduct ourselves in a way that might associate us with the bad elements within "our group" i.e. our own race. 

For example, though this may not at all be the reason we behave a certain way and indeed be unfair, it would likely not be wise to fly a confederate flag in our front yard or place one in the back window of our truck or drive around blasting "gangsta" rap, flashing "gangsta" signs and wearing "gangsta" paraphernalia (I am using more extreme examples to make the point clear). These things send out a signal to others that we may hold to views, attitudes, and behavior that are actually not ours. Fair? Maybe, maybe not. Some might simply like rap music or the history that the Confederate flag represents (those quick to assume the worst and racists in general [on both sides] would likely disagree). 

We may participate in a certain behavior (though not likely, which is exactly my point... it's not likely) because we are used to it or comfortable with it culturally. It's what we know and grew up with. So our participation may be innocent in this sense. Then we are surprised by the reaction we experience when we conduct ourselves in ways we are familiar with that have no racial motive for us personally. They were simply a part of our culture growing up. When we are mistreated for such behavior, we may grow angry (where there previously was none) at the false accusation and began to hate our attackers. This is a vicious and self-feeding contributor to racial tension when there was no racial motive in the beginning. 

Nevertheless, if our goal is to avoid being wrongly associated with or accused of certain views or attitudes, even though it may be unintentional by us, we may wish to consider how we may play a part (no matter how unintentional) in contributing to any harassment, mislabeling and mistreatment. 

We have a choice. We can react with anger or decide to disassociate ourselves with those things that cause us to be viewed wrongly. 

Granted, you may rightly feel it is wrong to be accused of holding a certain view because of what may be very innocent (possibly unconscious) behavior patterns and that it's the responsibility of others to figure it out. I tend to feel if they misread me, it's their problem, not mine. But the reality is if we wish to live in harmony and understanding we can make a difference and play a role as well, even if we are perfectly innocent. As believers, we are not only offended but instructed to be mindful of conduct that might be offensive to others even if in itself is not wrong. 

Otherwise, the other option is to simply not care what others think, which is not necessarily a bad thing but might not be the most loving and considerate thing either. To use a biblical example, if eating meat sacrificed to idols offends my brother, don't eat it. Bottom line? No one wishes to be viewed with suspicion regardless of what group someone tries to put you in but the reality is it happens. So how do we respond?

My personal view is if someone makes an incorrect assessment of me I simply prove them wrong by my words and actions i.e. I don't give them reason to believe their view (prejudice) is correct (there are always instances where no matter what we do, we will still be falsely accused or mistreated, however. Christ would be an example). If some are so close-minded they aren't willing to see the truth, I move on and pray for them.  I have found trying to "prove" my position is often pointless. People are pretty vested and locked into their views unfortunately because it's tied so strongly to their personal identity. 

I don't believe we are obligated to persuade someone who is close-minded nor should we feel sorry for ourselves and allow ourselves to be offended if and when rejected by others. Blaming ourselves is also counterproductive. I may feel sorry for them and their being close-minded, but that is now their problem. I am always willing to talk if someone is open, however. But if not, there is nothing I can do other than pray. Yes, we are called to love our enemies but we are also told not to cast our pearls before swine (i.e. do not offer to someone something they don't appreciate/value or have an interest in receiving). 

Peer pressure and identity

We also may actually need to think about changes that could cause us to be accused by our peers of being an "Uncle Tom" or a "n*gger lover".  Unfortunately, this happens all too often and is a big reason people don't stand up. Being accepted by our peers can have a very strong hold on us which is a big problem for some who don't have a strong (or any) sense of identity and their value in Christ. 

As believers, this should not be difficult however as our identity is rooted in Christ and not a particular group. The stronger we identify with Christ the less we need to identify with anything or anyone else. To say it practically I am beloved by God first, I am an American second, a husband or father, a [your occupation] and a [your race...black, white, Asian, brown person etc] last, in that order. Flipping this order is a great part of the reason for so much tension today. The further we get away from God as a society the more we tend to flip this. 

Note race must be last, not first. If this is a problem for you, it reveals how much your identity is rooted in something other than Christ. Race will be a minor aspect of who we are if we have a strong identity elsewhere. As the saying goes we need to be color blind. And for right now, emphasizing our race (regardless of who's doing it) and seeing everything through racial glasses is the least helpful thing we can be doing, particularly now with all the tension and "race bating" that goes on by many of the "gatekeepers" i.e. media, "higher education," politicians, entertainment, sports and other so-called "leaders" etc.   

Did white people in the past mistreat the black man/women? Yes. As a white man I denounce this mistreatment in no uncertain terms. This is what I can and should do. 

However to hold me responsible for the wrongs of someone in the past who just happened to be of the same race is not the fault of those who were not there and did not participate in that behavior. This would be the same as saying all Germans today are Nazi's because Hitler, who live over 70 years ago, was German. Being connected by nationality or race does not mean I am connected in attitude, view or action of those criminals who happened to be the same nationality or race as me. We each are responsible for our own actions and attitudes and should be (and will be one day) accountable for them, not those of others.

Racism is not my problem

What about racism? Is it unique to any one group? Is it not an issue with any group and exists in varying degrees within all ethnic groups. If so (and I believe it is), to decry one form of racism and not others is hypocritical. If it is wrong for one group, is it not wrong for other groups... for ALL groups, regardless of who that might be, in what form it might take or when and where it happens (happened)?

Some believe racism does not exist within their own group but only in others. Is this true? Is there not racism within groups of all kinds? If so, why do we tolerate (or not call out) racism among some but not others? Are some forms of racism ok, while others are not? Of course not. 

Now let's take it a step further. What if you are accused of being a racist by another who you know happens to be racist themself (someone from "another" group), what would you think, how would you feel? Would you be able to hear or accept their accusation or criticism? Should you hear it?

I am not giving answers at the moment or justifying any form of racism in asking, I am simply raising questions for us to ponder. Questions I don't presently hear discussed in all the current outrage being expressed these days. Without discussion, there will be no understanding of the grievances felt by others regardless of which "side" one sees themselves on. This is a time to look in the mirror, not point fingers. If we don't this country will continue to be torn apart and we will all suffer. I would suggest none of us (not necessarily individually but the various groups) are without guilt.

The simple reality is we all prefer hanging with those most like us, whether that be by age, gender, hobby interests, etc. It is more comfortable. Is this a kind of racism? I am not saying it is or isn't, I am just pointing out this is common with *all groups, including you and I. When Christ said to love our neighbor as ourselves, this also means treating others like you would naturally if they were someone who is just like you, whether they actually are or not. He didn't say love your neighbors if they are like you (look like you, act like you, have a similar background, tastes, and culture like you with the same interests as you, etc) and avoid those who aren't. 

As a side note I have had two long term accountability partners in my life that span 20 years. I had virtually nothing in common with either of them socially, historically or culturally. Both of them came from a different time in our culture (one was older and one younger, one was of Mexican decent (his parents were from Mexico) and a former Marine and I was a former "child of the 60's" who called his kind "jarheads" and "spics" when I was a young stupid kid) but what we did have in common which created the absolute strongest bond and totally nullified any of that was our mutual desire to know and honor God and our love for Jesus. Because that was our main connection, it was so strong it overroad everything else. As a result we actually came to enjoy each other socially. Image that!

Some answers to this current issue of racism.

1. Racism is a form of hatred of our fellow man/women and is wrong and dangerous!

2. To excuse your own hatred and racism because the one you hate is a racist doesn't justify yours and overrule point 1. You can and should hate racism but that doesn't justify hating another person because of their race. Racism is wrong, no matter who expresses it or what reason is given. As my dad used to always tell me "two wrongs don't make a right."

3. To say racism is present only in one particular race is also dangerous. I raise this because this is more common than is currently acknowledged. This double standard fuels resentment by whoever comes up on the short end. In some ways it may be more dangerous because it allows someone to play the victim and hide behind their own racism, all the while pretending to be virtuous in their hate and anger against another person's racism (as if theirs doesn't exist or is justified because it's directed at the racism of others). It must be called out on all sides. Racism is racism. It doesn't matter who participates or why. All of it is wrong.


Two things needed to diffuse the hate and anger of racism

Now there is one major problem with everything I have said so far. Not that I think it's untrue but that it focuses only on one side of the problem i.e. the offense. There is an entirely different side to this. Maybe the most important side. That is forgiveness? Where does that come into all this? 

There are two things needed to properly address racism. One is when you are guilty, to fully acknowledge the wrong, hurt and suffering it causes (or has caused) i.e. seek forgiveness when and where necessary and appropriate and denounce and abandon it if and when guilty. This is critical and often lacking (if someone isn't personally a racist they, of course, should not apologize for being one, simply because they aren't; but it is certainly appropriate to express regret and sorrow for the racism of others i.e. for them being mistreated (I am not talking about slavery. Though unfortunate and not to be made light of, that is history. It is not the present experience of most today...at least not in its past form. I am talking about present mistreatment, which is what I have been addressing so far). 

But in addition to acknowledging mistreatment of others, without forgiveness by those who have been wronged, healing can never occur and nothing will be resolved. To say it another way, you can't control the behavior of others, but you can control your own attitude, outlook, and how you handle being mistreated. 

Sadly some racists will never acknowledge their wrongdoing. However those offended can still do something. If we are believers we can keep it from going beyond ourselves and passing it along, thereby helping prevent its spreading and continuing the damage. This may seem unfair, but much in this broken world is and God promises the scales of justice will one day be balanced. Certainly, the attitude of Christ in his mistreatment would be our example here e.g. "Father forgive them for they do not know what they do."

Why is forgiveness is more critical 

Because EVERYONE offends and everyone is offended at one time or another. Certainly, some are more offended than others (no one, however, was more mistreated than Christ himself). At some point, there not only needs to be a full and clear admission of wrongdoing but also forgiveness by those wronged or there will only be ongoing hatred and destruction; not just to others but to ourselves and those around us. 

Addressing offenses is so critical the bible calls both parties to address it even if or when the other party does not.

1.     The offender is called to ask for forgiveness whether the offended grants it or not.

And

2.     The offended are called to forgive whether the offender asks for it or not.

Both are accountable to do their part regardless of what the other party does.  

What is the significance of this dual responsibility? The only one who can actually cut the fuse of hatred is the one offended. Why is this? Is it because the offender has no responsibility? No, he/she is totally responsible and will be held accountable for their actions one day; if not now certainly in eternity. The unfortunate reality is the offender may never acknowledge their wrongdoing and often don't. Again, we can't control the behavior of others, we can only control our own conduct, attitude, and outlook.

What do we do then? Just seethe in our hatred? Because we all sin and offenses are unfortunately part of living in a broken world, at some point we have to forgive or our bitterness will destroy us. We are instructed to let no root of bitterness take hold (Hebrews 12:15) as it will not only destroy us but also those around us we are responsible for and called to love. Offenses are the unfortunate fruit of our rebellion against God himself. Ultimately, the only thing that prevents sin from "landing," taking root, and destroying others is the forgiveness of those offended.

And this is rooted and grounded in Christ himself. He did what was necessary to bring forgiveness to all who will accept it by taking on himself the consequences of all offenses (our own and that of others) so they are no longer held against us (assuming we accept his offer). And in so doing he even asked for the forgiveness of those who killed him...who committed the ultimate oppression against him if you will.  

We are also cautioned that we will not be forgiven if we refuse to forgive others. I think this is saying if we can not find it in our heart to forgive it may be because we have not yet fully recognized our own offenses (toward God first as well as others) and accepted God's forgiveness for our wrongdoing. Forgiveness (being able to forgive others) is the fruit of being forgiven first. It is virtually (if not actually) impossible to forgive if we do not acknowledge our own offenses and accept forgiveness i.e. if there is no forgiveness for others we may be a person who hasn't yet accepted the forgiveness of God. If we believe there is no forgiveness for us, we will have no forgiveness in our hearts for others. 

But it goes even deeper. We can never be forgiven if we do not realize we need it first i.e. that we are all offenders. And our biggest offense is not doing right by God i.e. not giving God what he rightfully deserves...all honor and due respect. If you are offended for not being given proper respect, what about your not given him proper respect? 

Why does he deserve honor and respect? Because all we have and are is from him yet we act as if it is not.

He has done everything necessary to forgive our wrong of not acknowledging his rightful honor, by putting that offense on Christ on our behalf; for our sake. Yet, we reject his offer; the offer of ultimate and total forgiveness. This is an insult to the work and offer of Christ from which there is no remedy. Not because one is not available but because it is the only one that exists yet we reject it. 

To be forgiving, you must first be forgiven. 

For more discussion on being offended click here

For a discussion on why and how we must distinguish culture from race click here. 

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*Divide and conquer is also the strategy and approach communists have used to take over a standing political/economic system. i.e. creating class warfare such as the "bourgeois vs the working class" i.e. the "haves" vs the "have nots." This is a "divide and conquer" strategy. In this present conflict, attempts are being made to create division primarily along racial lines, not necessarily economic lines as is the Bolshevik revolution.  Some may feel use of this strategy i current racial tensions is speculative and only a theory but history tells us it is worth paying attention to.

Everyone prefers hanging with "their tribe" more than with another. Why is this? We all like what is familiar. It is what we are most comfortable with. Having to navigate new "territory" culturally is uncomfortable. I felt this most keenly when I moved from a church in Southern California where the average age was in the early 50's, to a church in central Texas, where the average age was in the early 30's (I was 61 at the time). I must confess it was awkward. During light chit chat, all the conversations were around songs, movies and the like that I was not familiar with. I totally didn't get the humorous references to a certain sitcom, movie or song. No longer having or watching TV the last 8 years didn't help. I was definitely "out of touch" and out of place. 

Should my new church have made a greater effort to include me and been more sensitive to my needs and interests? What I experienced wasn't a racial difference but a chronological one, but a difference none the less. One I didn't like. 

Is this wrong? Whether it is or not it's certainly common with everyone. We all hang with and talk about what we are most familiar with. Is this a kind of racism? It certainly includes some of the things we feel about other ethnic groups different from us. If it is similar to racism, aren't we are all guilty? What is it I am describing exactly? We call it prejudice. Prejudice isn't always racial, but racism is always an expression of prejudice. Interestingly, prejudice is defined as unreasonable feelings, opinions, or attitudes formed beforehand, especially of a hostile nature, regarding an ethnic, racial, social, or religious group. So who decides where reasonable feelings and opinions cross over the unreasonable ones. The party on the other end of those attitudes feels them just the same. 

I concluded, by the way, our calling is to love others, not to be loved by others. I already knew this but had to apply it in a new and very practical way. So I focused on how to minister to my new church family. But it is easy to become and play the victim, though this clearly isn't God's call. It certainly has helped me to understand how others can fall into a victim mindset. It has also helped me to deepen my walk with God.

If you wish to hear more about what I learned through this process click here.