The absence of God's presence

The absence of God's presence is the essence of hell. ¹Hell is anywhere God's presence (and provision) is not.

People live in ³rebellion to God every day. How? They do not acknowledge God as the Source of love and life (breath); the Creator and Sustainer of everything! 

Instead, they live as if God is irrelevant; that the blessings of life are their right to have and do with as they please, as if someone owed it to them; i.e., they are entitled to these blessings. And if they don't get what they believe they deserve, they become disillusioned, angry, or bitter. This is the approach to life many ²choose to take and live by daily.

And if they never come to the place where they acknowledge His relevance, value, and significance, they will continue on that same trajectory and path throughout their lives.

As a result, God will honor that choice throughout eternity as well. God doesn't send people to hell. They are already on that path unless and until they recognize God is the provider of all things and choose to put their trust in Him.

If the absence of God's presence is hell, then what is the fullness of God's presence? Bliss, paradise, a continual feast, i.e., heaven.

For a further discussion on why many are disillusioned with God, click here

For a discussion on the key to answered prayer, click here

For a discussion on whether hell is literal, click here. 

For a further discussion on how hell is a continuation of our current path, click here

For a discussion of whether we are rebels to God, click here.

For a discussion on whether God's wrath is reasonable, click here

For a discussion on how death and hell are totally defeated, click here 

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Footnotes:

¹this is not necessarily a specific location - though it may be. But it is a disposition or attitude of rebellious distrust (all distrust of God is rebellion to Him. It is asserting that God is a liar and not who He claims to be as all-loving, wise, powerful, and everywhere present). 

Objectively, God is everywhere present. Nothing functions or even exists without Him. But if we willfully turn away from God, then for us, God does not exist and is not present. God is not dead, but to us He is.

In the story of Lazarus and the rich man, notice the rich man did not regret his rejection of God, nor did he resent God for his being in his present state or desire to turn to Him even in his torment. He only wanted water to relieve his thirst - he only wanted God's gift - not God Himself.

Is this not also true of humanity in general when we go through great pain? God is not our end, but the means to another end...relief. This is often the reason we pray. We don't want God; we only want the gifts (blessings) of God to comfort us in a time of need. 

"...You do not have, because you do not ask. You ask and do not receive, because you ask wrongly, to spend it on your passions." - Jas 4:2b-3 ESV

Luke 16:23-26, 28, 30-31 ESV

"...and in Hades, being in torment, he (the previously rich man) lifted up his eyes and saw Abraham far off and Lazarus at his side. And he called out, ‘Father Abraham, have mercy on me, and send Lazarus to dip the end of his finger in water and cool my tongue, for I am in anguish in this flame.’ But Abraham said, ‘Child, remember that you in your lifetime received your good things, and Lazarus in like manner bad things; but now he is comforted here, and you are in anguish.

And besides all this, between us and you a great chasm has been fixed, in order that those who would pass from here to you may not be able, and none may cross from there to us.’ for I have five brothers—so that he may warn them, lest they also come into this place of torment.’

And he said, ‘No, father Abraham, but if someone goes to them from the dead, they will repent.’ He said to him, ‘If they do not hear Moses and the Prophets, neither will they be convinced if someone should rise from the dead.’”

²this choice is laid out in Rom 1:18-23 (emphasis added).

"For the wrath of God is revealed from heaven against all ungodliness and unrighteousness of men, who by their unrighteousness (i.e., which springs forth from rebellious distrust of God) suppress the truth. 

For what can be known about God is plain to them, because God has shown it to them. 

For his invisible attributes, namely, his eternal power and divine nature, have been clearly perceived, ever since the creation of the world, in the things that have been made. So they are without excuse. 

For although they knew God, they did not honor him as God (He is irrelevant) or give thanks to him (a choice), but they became futile in their thinking (they thought they could make life work on their terms, not God's terms i.e. they thought they could be their own god, like Adam and Eve) and their foolish hearts were darkened - by this wrong idea that they could make life work without God or without recognizing that God alone is the Creator, provider, and giver of life and all the blessings of life, not us. 

Claiming to be wise, they became fools, and exchanged the glory of the immortal God for images (their choice) resembling mortal man and birds and animals and creeping things." 

³The following passage lays out the nature of our rebellion. These are comments made to Job by Elihu in Job 35:6-16. The fourth and only "friend" of Job whom God did not rebuke, unlike the other 3, suggesting that his comments to Job were on point.

Elihu talking to Job:

"If you have sinned, what do you accomplish against him (God)? And if your transgressions are multiplied (many), what do you do to him? If you are righteous, what do you give to him? Or what does he receive from your hand? (This is also quoted by Paul in Rom 11:35). Your wickedness concerns a man like yourself, and your righteousness a son of man - i.e., your bad or good deeds affect only men, not God. You can not give to Him or take away from Him anything He is or has by your actions.

Because of the multitude of oppressions, people cry out; they call for help because of the arm of the mighty (those stronger than us, who oppress us).

But none says, ‘Where is God my Maker, who gives songs in the night, who teaches us more than the beasts of the earth and makes us wiser than the birds of the heavens?’ - i.e., there is no gratitude to God for all the gifts we receive or trust in God when we go through challenges. We don't want God. We only want relief from our pain by using all the gifts He gives and we enjoy daily without giving Him thanks or acknowledging Him as the giver.

There they cry out, but he does not answer, because of the pride of evil men (who believe God is not there or is irrelevant, until we are suffering). Surely God does not hear an empty cry, nor does the Almighty regard it - Why? Because we don't really want God; we only want His blessings and the comfort and relief from pain His blessings bring us.

How much less when you say that you *do not see him, that the case is before him, and you are waiting for him! - i.e. we demand He respond when we want and the way we think He should when we are in pain - but our complaining and pleading with Him does not impress God or cause Him to respond. 

*People don't see or acknowledge God because of their arrogance, not because He's not there.

When we approach God this way, we will always be waiting for a response, because He will not respond to our arrogant demands. Only He is God, and best knows what we need, not us. Humility is more important then relief.

And now, because his anger does not punish, and he does not take much note of transgression - i.e., because God has not dropped the hammer on Job for his complaining and demands - Job opens his mouth in empty talk; he multiplies words without knowledge.”

To Job's credit, at the end he responded correctly...

Job 42:1-6

Then Job answered the Lord and said: 

“I know that you can do all things, and that no purpose of yours can be thwarted.  

‘Who is this that hides counsel without knowledge?’ (God's earlier question to Job)

Therefore I have uttered what I did not understand, things too wonderful for me, which I did not know.  (Job's response)

‘Hear, and I will speak; I will question you, and you make it known to me.’ (God's reply)

I had heard of you by the hearing of the ear, but now my eye sees you; therefore I despise myself, and repent in dust and ashes - (I change my view of you and my attitude towards you).” (Job's response)

For a discussion on how all things in life are a gift click here.

Free will or free choice?

While our choices are ¹free and 100% ours (i.e. we freely choose to do what we want), our ³wills are not. Our wills are tied to our desires (wants). 

To say it another way, our "chooser" is not broken, but our "wanter" is.

²And our wants (desires) dictate what we ¹choose to pursue. 

If we desire (want) the wrong things, we choose to pursue the wrong things. 

And our desires are tied to what we value. The more we value something, the more we desire it and the harder we pursue it. 

And we value only what we ⁴see as valuable. 

If ⁴we are blind to seeing God's true value, worth, beauty, wisdom, glory, majesty, and power as our infinite loving Creator - i.e., the Source of life, love, and all things - we will never pursue Him as the infinitely valuable and significant (glorious) being that He is. We will desire and pursue created things and beings instead. 

(For a further discussion on our ability to see things as they truly are, click here.)

Why? ⁵We are like God and created to enjoy (delight in) Him who is most valuable, beautiful, wise, glorious, majestic, and loving. Absent a personal relationship with Him, we do not see Him as He is and go after His creation (the next best thing) to fill the void of His absence. Particularly other bearers of His image (you and I) who, by design, are most like God and have the greatest capacity to love and reflect Him most. This capacity is awakened and rengaged when we are in union with Him through Christ.

And what is truly valuable is experienced by faith more than pleasant circumstances. 

"...without faith it is impossible to please him, for whoever would draw near to God must believe that he exists and that he ⁶rewards those who seek him." - Heb 11:6

For a further discussion on the importance and necessity of faith, click here.

So do we have any evidence that God is trustworthy outside of - or in spite of - our circumstances? 

Yes, Christ Himself and what he went through to restore us to the Father. If this was the only evidence to prove God's love to and for us, it is more than sufficient. No other evidence is necessary. 

But to fully appreciate this restoration, we must understand who God created us to be and how alienated we are from Him who is the Source of life.

God's glory is our glory.

Scripture tells us God is infinitely valuable (glorious), but what about our value and our feeling of being significant or important? Are we valuable? Does it matter? If so, why?

Because God is significant, important, and valuable, we are and must be like Him in this same way in order for us to be able to appreciate and enjoy Him in all His glory and all these qualities He possesses. 

We are told in Jas 4: 

[5] "...Or do you suppose it is to no purpose that the Scripture says, “He yearns jealously over the spirit that he has made to dwell in us”"?  

What kind of spirit has God put within us? A spirit that longs (is passionate) for infinite love, worth, and glory. Love that can only be satisfied fully by the Source of love - our Creator - not by creation. 

This includes all the innate talents and gifts we already possess... such as musical, mechanical, athletic, business, artistic (creative), speaking, writing, or intellectual skills etc.  

God will not share in (is jealous over) our pursuit or loyalty to any other "lover" because He knows our greatest joy and satisfaction is ⁷ultimately in Him. There is no other true "lover" who can fill this need and desire in us for love; love that He designed to be filled ultimately and only by Him who is love. Not because He needs our love but because we need His. This is "the spirit He has made to dwell in us."

Our capacity to value and enjoy Him is unparalleled by any other creature - even celestial beings.

Our being in His image wasn't happenstance. He designed us this way. He is the Creator; we are His creatures...but unlike the rest of creation, we are created in His image. Therefore, He loves us and desires that we experience Him to the maximum extent of His true worth and our capacity as bearers of His image. 

Everything in creation we seek for life (i.e. meaning, significance, value) outside of God is temporary. Creation is good and has value, but it is limited. Therefore, it comes up short of filling our need for and sense of value-worth (glory). God gives us creation as a means of revealing Himself to us and as evidence of His infinite love for us. But it was never meant to be our god, i.e., that which we worship and pursue.

GOD alone is the Source of infinite love. To experience His love to the maximum extent of our capacity, we must give Him all our loyalty and faithfulness (i.e., have no other "gods" before Him). Otherwise, we will never experience His love as it truly is and as we were designed to, but instead we will pursue created things (especially other creatures) for love, meaning, and purpose outside of and instead of Him. We can not worship both God and mammon.

Where does this need/desire for significance (glory) come from? Click here. 

Why was there a forbidden tree in the garden? Click here.

For a discussion on the necessity of choice, click here.

For a further discussion on how our "wanter" is broken and not our "chooser," click here. 

For a further discussion on how our choices are affected by our ability to see, click here.

For a discussion on ability vs. responsibility, click here

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Footnotes:

¹And our choices are ours alone. No one else's, including God. Therefore, we are fully accountable for what we value and choose to pursue. 

²Note the progression of the "ands" mentioned at beginning of this article. Each deals with a significant shift, but also a vital connection to the previous and following "and" statement. To get to the 2nd "and" you must acknowledge the 1st. And to get to the 3rd, we must recognize the 2nd, etc. Here's a recap...

*our wants-desires dictate what we ¹choose to pursue. 

*our desires-wants are tied to what we value

*we value only what we ⁴see as valuable. 

*our partaking of and participation in His love now is primarily by faith

³Is God free to do whatever he wants? 100%!  But because God is holy, He only wants (desires-wills) what is good and best. He freely chooses righteousness; i.e., His character or nature dictates His will/desires, as does ours.

 For a fuller discussion, click here.

⁴To see truly, the Spirit of God must reside in us and reveal to us God's true character. And that only occurs after we've been "born again," i.e., after we are spiritually regenerated. 

"Jesus answered him, “Truly, truly, I say to you, unless one is born again (1st) he cannot see the kingdom of God.” " John 3:30

Before we are born again, we are blind to spiritual things - i.e., we can not see the things pertaining to God's kingdom. The Bible says we are dead to God. Last I checked, dead people don't see very well 😉! 

⁵Why does our feelings and desire for significance, importance, and value matter? 

We are like God, who is significant, important, and valuable. We must be like Him so we can appreciate and enjoy these qualities in Him. Those persons or beings most like God are most able to appreciate and enjoy Him as He is.

God's significance, importance, and value (glory) are the foundation for (and Source of) ours. Our recognizing this about God is essential to experiencing our own true value (glory). The more we see his glory, the more we experience our glory in and through Him. 

⁶Rewards may be in this life but ultimately and mainly are in the next. Our primarily reward is God Himself revealed to us in the fullness of His glory in eternity. We only see him now by faith - i.e. through a "glass darkly." In eternity we will see Him face to face for the first time! And then we will be like him (i.e. all glorious) for we will see Him as He is i.e. in the fullness of His glory!!! We can't yet because we are not fully glorified. To see God in our present unglorified state would kill us.

⁷there is nothing wrong with creation and all the gifts that come to us through it. It is good to enjoy the good things God gives us as long as we don't make them the highest things i.e. They don't become our gods that we value above the one and only true God.

From Adam to Christ

Before our rebellion, it appears we were spiritually ²neutral. As image bearers we had the capacity, unlike any other creature, to fellowship with God and did i.e. we could willingly receive and return His love. But we weren't ²inclined toward or away from God. You could say we were a blank canvas yet to be painted on.

However, we were also finite. And because of our limits we had no way of verifying on our own, with ⁶absolute certainty, who was truthful and trustworthy, God or the serpent. 

Ultimately, it came down to trust. Our ¹trust in God hadn't yet been tested or confirmed. We had no reason to question God prior to that conversation with the serpent. The serpent's suggestions put into Adam and Eves mind doubt about God and His love for them for the first time. 

This is also why there were 2 special trees in Eden. (And not just anywhere in the garden but at its center). 

⁴We were given two contradictory claims or "promises" from two distinct sources and had to choose which one we believed. In God's original instructions, "do not eat..." it is clear God wanted them to have and make a choice. 

When humanity's trust was tested, we chose (and continue to choose) to trust ourselves (be our own god) instead of trusting the one true God. We believed we could - and can - decide what was (and is) best for us without God, and know ²good and evil without looking to or depending on God for input; as if we were all knowing and even smarter than God. We set ourselves up as the final arbitrator of what is good or evil - an act of rebellion towards God as the all-knowing Creator of all things - and also a lie which was contrary to our design. 

This continues to be the present modus operandi for all humanity to this day. We trust in ourselves with all our heart and lean not to God's understanding (wisdom). In all our ways (i.e. actions) we acknowledge ourselves wiser then God and lean on our own understanding instead of His to direct our paths.

Ever since our rebellion, we are naturally inclined towards distrust of others, God first, as well as each other.

We went from being neutral to being bent away from God, and we remain that way to this day. We (and humanity as a whole) are now broken, fragmented, and continue to come "unglued" as we seek to find life and make it work without God resulting in all the pain and suffering we see throughout the world.

Without God's help, all our actions are rooted in self-trust and distrust of God. Every time we make choices without looking to God for input, we are saying God is not necessary or trustworthy to live life at the highest level. 

The solution?

The second Adam compared to the first. 

The Spirit led Christ into the wilderness after His baptism (when the Father said He was well pleased with His Son), and thus Christ's formal ministry began. 

Christ's trust in the Father was tested 3 times in the wilderness; as was Adam's. Unlike Adam, Christ passed each time. 

Christ's trust was also ⁷tested throughout his incarnation, and culminated in Gethsemane right before his betrayal and crucifixion, when he said "...let this cup pass from me...but not my will, but yours be done..." and also on the cross "...My God, why have you forsaken me?" 

Being placed into Christ vs remaining in Adam. 

Christ's passing of these ⁷tests of trust was for us, not him. His passing them is now offered to be assigned to us as if we passed them when we didn't and haven't. Where Adam failed to be who God created mankind to be, Christ the man succeeded!

But we are asked to trust God again - like Adam was asked - and receive this offer. It is not forced on us. Yes, we can refuse to trust God, but we are left to bear the consequences of our rebellious distrust (as Adam was) and the harm it causes ³God, others, and ourselves. 

For a further discussion on the initial rebellion of man - i.e. "the fall" - click here. 

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Footnotes:

¹As finite beings, we cannot operate without trust. To do so would require us to be all-knowing, all-powerful, and everywhere present. Only God is infinite and has these attributes; we do not. 

During Christ's incarnation, he was not all-knowing. This was part of his emptying himself (known as the kenosis). He said many times there were things he did not know in his present human form. This is also why Christ, as a man, operated by faith, like we do and must.

²knowing good and evil was basically knowing right from wrong. As finite beings and before their rebellion, they needed to confide in God when presented with a choice between right and wrong. The serpent suggested they (we) could be "free" from this seeming shackle if we ate from the forbidden tree. However, we made our choice by ignoring God's instructions to not eat of the forbidden tree and have reaped the consequences of pain, suffering, and death, as God warned, ever since.

³we can not harm God personally. God needs no one or nothing outside of Himself and needs nothing from us. But we can bring dishonor to Him by our thoughts, words, and deeds, resulting on our hindering others from seeing Him as He truly is, ultimately leading to their harm. 

For us to speak and act as if God is not significanct or worthy of honor is by example leading others to do the same i.e. away from God. But He alone is worthy of all honor and glory because He is the Source of life, love, and all things. To Him all glory is deserved and should be given.

Our rejection of our dependence on God was contrary to who we are - creatures dependent on our Creator - and who He is as the giver of life, love, and all things. Going contrary to this reality brings real harm and destruction to ourselves, others as well as dishonors God for who He truly is. Diminishing God in the eyes of others by our words and actions draws them away from God which leads them to harm and destruction. 

Christ honored His Father in all he said and did but was treated exactly the opposite of this. And now the Father offers to credit Christ's ⁵faithfulness to you as if this is how you now live. If we are in Christ, the Father only sees the Son's perfect faithfulness as if it was our own and He is well pleased with us, as He is with the Son.

⁴Adam and Eve represented us, not in the sense of acting on our behalf but in the sense that given the same set of circumstances we would have made the exact same choice they did. 

In fact virtually every main character in the Bible is presented with the same choice of trusting God or being their own God and fails up until Christ who succeeded.  

We prove that daily by making similar kinds of choices now i.e., we prefer being our own god and being independent of God instead of dependent on Him. We are not accountable for Adam and Eves choice but our own with one exception. We have a chance to choose God again and totally reverse the legal consequences of our distrust of God - and also the practical consequences in eternity as well - because God provided a way to be restored if we accept His offer.

⁵Keep in mind that Christ's faithfulness was not a walk in the park. He was faithful in the face of all the adversity Christ endured and all the riches He set aside to become a man so he could suffer and die, that we would not have to. 

⁶though the evidence was clearly in God's favor since Adam experienced 1st hand the creation of Eve while he saw no such demonstration of power by the serpent. 

⁷As a man , Christ went from untested to tested obedience. Unlike Adam, he passed the test and now assigns His perfect test results to all those who put  their trust in Him.

The joy of generosity

Generosity ¹seems to be a primary part of who God is and what makes Him "tick," i.e. how he operates. He delights in giving. "God so loved... He gave..."

As His image bearers, we are designed the same way, but with a major difference. Only God has unlimited resources - i.e. He is the Source of all things. He is an endless overflowing fountain of love and life. We are not. 

Why? Because God is a community of infinite, endless love within and among Himself as Father and Son who continually gives and receives love between and among each other in, by, and through the Spirit. God is love, and He is Spirit.

As bearers of God's image, we also find joy in giving. But we are not an unlimited, endless, overflowing fountain. Only God is. In order for us to give we must continually receive first.

God as a ⁵community of love, calls us to join in (plug in) and be a part of that community, so we will overflow with love in the same way He does. 

If we get love from another image bearer as a result of our giving them love (such as a spouse or some other vital relationship), we may be able to maintain this kind of giving over a long time, maybe indefinitely - especially when it's reciprocated. But if we find ourselves giving more than we get, we become exhausted (possibly even resentful) and the relationship withers and ⁶eventually dies.  

However, when we ²plug into and reconnect with God - the infinite Source of love and life - we are like a conduit connected to that unlimited, overflowing fountain of love again. 

This enables us to love others ³without receiving from them anything in return because ⁴God is our source of love, not others.

Without being reconnected to the source of love and life, we run out of gas (love and life, etc.). 

But if and when we are plugged into and united with our Creator - the Source of love, life, and all things - we can become an unlimited resource or conduit of love because we are plugged into the unlimited supply i.e. God - who is the only Source (fountain) of endless overflowing love.

And God is able to make all grace abound to you, so that having all sufficiency in all things at all times, you may abound in every good work..." 2 Cor 8:9, 9:6-8

For a more in-depth look into 2 Cor 8:9, 9:6-8 click here.

"For you know the grace of our Lord Jesus Christ, that though he was rich, yet for your sake he became poor, so that you by his poverty might become rich...

The point is this: whoever sows sparingly will also reap sparingly, and whoever sows bountifully will also reap bountifully. Each one must give as he has decided in his heart, not reluctantly or under compulsion, for God loves a cheerful giver - i.e., anyone who gives out of joy, not a sense of obligation.

Related articles:

For more on how God is relationship, click here.  

For more on whether God is dependent or independent click here. 

For more on the life, love, and Spirit of God click here.  

For more on how God is perpetual love click here

For more on where the power to live for God comes from click here.

Are love and value the same? For a discussion, click here. 

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Footnotes:

¹I say "seems" only because we can't put God in a box and reduce him to something far less than He is. We are only scratching the surface of just one facet of his character, though I believe a very central and foundational one; maybe the most significant aspect of who God is as the only endless overflowing fountain of life and love.

We should approach God - at a minimum - with the same awe and mystery we approach the universe itself in all its infinite vastness. Not as some sort of thing we can take apart or dissect to see how it ticks, but as a person and dynamic relational being of infinite depth, beauty, and delight that we will never reach the bottom or end of.

"Oh, the depth of the riches and wisdom and knowledge of God! 

How unsearchable are his judgments and how inscrutable his ways! 

“For who has known the mind of the Lord, or who has been his counselor?” 

“Or who has given a gift to him that he might be repaid?” 

For from him and through him and to him are all things. To him be glory forever. Amen." - Romans 11:33-36

God is an infinitely glorious being, who we will go through the rest of our life - as well as all eternity - discovering more of. The more we understand this the more we will be in total awe of our Creator! 

We can know different aspects about God only because - and when - He reveals Himself to us. And because God is infinite - and we are not - there is still mystery about what He is like and who He is that we will continually plumb the depths of our entire life - as well as throughout eternity - with ever-increasing awe and joy! What we now know is only the beginning and a tiny speck of the depth, breadth, and width of the beauty and wonder of God. 

Not because he's trying to hide from us, but because we are not humble enough for him to reveal Himself more.

"...that according to the riches of his glory he may grant you to be strengthened with power through his Spirit in your inner being, so that Christ may dwell in your hearts through faith—that you, being rooted and grounded in love, may have strength to comprehend with all the saints what is the breadth and length and height and depth, and to know the love of Christ that surpasses knowledge, that you may be filled with all the fullness of God." - 

Eph 3:16-19 ESV

The key to seeing more of His infinite beauty and mystery is humility. We only see God clearly to the extent we humbly trust and follow Him. Without humility, He will not reveal Himself to us and we will never see Him in as He truly is in all His infinite glory!

Humility is a central part of the very character of God Himself. How much more should this be true of us who are finite? The more we are like God in this way (in humility) the more we have eyes to see him as he is. 

Because of our arrogance - i.e. thinking we can be our own god and make life work better without Him than with Him - we are blinded to seeing Him well, if at all. It takes a humble disposition (ours) to recognize another humble disposition (God's).

As finite beings, we can never fully plumb the depths of His being or His heart. We will spend all eternity increasingly discovering more about God and His infinite beauty and love. We will never be bored but increasingly enthralled with Him the more we see and know Him.

²As bearers of God's image, we were originally designed to be in perfect union with our Creator. Through, by, and out of this union, everything else is meant to flow. 

When we rebelled and turned away to be our own god, we cut ourselves off from our infinite Creator, the only Source of life, love, and all things. We no longer partook of God (as He designed us to) and as the endless fountain of love. 

Without Him, we are empty and left longing for love. It is longing for the wrong things that creates all our problems because we go after anything and everything other than God - the true Source of all things - to fill that longing. 

³Unlike us, God is an endless Source of love and does not need to get anything from us in order to give. He is perpetual giving because he is perpetual receiving within, among, and between the Father and Son, in, by, and through the Spirit.

Whereas we may be able to give short-term we can't sustain giving long-term unless we get an equal or greater amount of love than we give... or at least feel like we are getting as much or more. 

⁴This is also why only a godly marriage is most fulfilling, successful, and flourishing. God is the center and source of love for each partner, vs each other.  

In fact, a successful and flourishing marriage is a picture of the community of our triune God as a being rooted and united together in relationship. 

⁵God is a community of perpetual love as Father, Son, and Spirit. We thrive in a loving relationship because we are designed for love i.e. we are Godlike, who Himself is infinite love. 

We cannot operate outside of love any more than God does. God is love (because He is relationship). We are designed for love because we are like God - in His image.

To assume we can operate properly without being in union (relationship) with the Source of life, love, and all things is trying be someone that even God isn't i.e. the Father, Son, and Spirit do not operate independent of each other. They are interconnected and "interdependent."

⁶The exception would be a loving parent and their child. 

Giving what you have

All our actions come out of one of two very different places i.e. they occur only for one of two reasons: ¹to get something or to give something. 

To give something, we must already have it. We cannot give what we do not have. 

For example...

If you do not have love, you cannot give love.

If you have not received mercy, you will not give mercy.

If you have not received grace, you will not be gracious.

If you have not experienced compassion and comfort, you will not offer it.

In and of ourselves, we ²may give these short-term and superficially, but we do so in order to get a sense of meaning, value, and purpose; i.e., we give to get. But absent receiving these from the Source, we can not sustain giving these long term. 

If our receiving does not exceed our giving, we stop giving simply because we do not have an infinite supply on our own of what is needed to bring life to others.

Because we are ³absent these in and of ourselves - i.e., we are always "running on empty," so to speak. We can not sustain giving on our own. We must regularly be filled, or we run out of "gas" i.e. to give to others long term, solely for their gain, is not possible in and of ourselves. We are not the source of these but only the conduits. 

The good news is if we are in Christ, we have been given all of these, and far more: to receive, pass along, and give to others. Without Christ and the Spirit, we only have the capacity to receive these because we are in God's image.

Thankfully, our rebellious distrust of God has not destroyed this capacity but only resulted in it going dormant. When we are made alive again in Christ, God Himself, by His Spirit, comes to reside in us ⁴again, revealing Christ in all his love, wisdom, and glory, and filling us with His fullness, resulting in it flowing out through us to others.

If you wish to experience more of what you have been given the capacity for, you must know and receive by faith Christ and all He is and offers. 

Then we are called by faith to give to others what we have been given, and it will be released in and through us to them. 

It is in our giving that we receive.  Sometimes we experience this in our giving, but other times we come to the end of our resources, and God replenishes us later. But if we give out of love for God and others, He promises we will have all we need to continue.

To do so honors God and is honored - rewarded - by Him.

"Each one must give as he has decided in his heart, not reluctantly or under compulsion, for God loves a cheerful giver. And God is able to make all grace abound to you, so that having all sufficiency in all things at all times, you may abound in every good work.

As it is written, "He has distributed freely, he has given to the poor; his righteousness endures forever." He who supplies seed to the sower and bread for food will supply and multiply your seed for sowing and increase the harvest of your righteousness. You will be enriched in every way to be generous in every way, which through us will produce thanksgiving to God. For the ministry of this service is not only supplying the needs of the saints but is also overflowing in many thanksgivings to God." 2 Cor 9:7-11 

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¹To say it another way, we do things either for the glory of self or the glory of God. If for the glory of self, it is an action intended to get or gain glory - value, meaning, purpose, and love - for myself. If for the glory of God, it is an action to give honor or glory to God. And we can, because He is our Source and unlimited supply. Without Him we can do nothing.

²If we do, it is only because we've received them from others such as loving parents, extended family, mentors, teachers, or other caretakers in our life, especially in our formative years i.e. others have sacrificially poured into us so our emotional cup is relatively fuller than those who had no such nurturing i.e. those who were blessed to receive this have a greater reserve than others. 

But it's still only a reserve, not an endless fountain. Therefore, it is insufficient to sustain us in the sacrificial loving of others long-term. To love others as we are designed and called to requires our being sustained by infinite, nonstop, inexhaustible love. And that can only come from an infinite, inexhaustible Source. This is not us or from us but from someone outside of us i.e. our infinite Creator and Giver of love, life, and all things.

³Since we were created to be in union with our Creator, the Source of love, life, and all things, it only stands to reason that we are running on empty if we are not in union with Him i.e. not "plugged in to the power supply."

If we are in Christ, that union (connection) has been reestablished and is being slowly repaired - like a badly frayed electrical cord - as our trust and dependence on the Source of love grows. It will not be fully restored until eternity.

"For I consider that the sufferings of this present time are not worth comparing with the glory that is to be revealed to us. For the creation waits with eager longing for the revealing of the sons of God. For the creation was subjected to futility, not willingly, but because of him who subjected it, in hope that the creation itself will be set free from its bondage to corruption and obtain the freedom of the glory of the children of God.  For we know that the whole creation has been groaning together in the pains of childbirth until now. 

And not only the creation, but we ourselves, who have the firstfruits of the Spirit, groan inwardly as we wait eagerly for adoption as sons, the redemption of our bodies. - ‭Rom 8:18-23 

https://bible.com/bible/59/rom.8.18-23.ESV

⁴I say "again" because I believe we have good reasons to think He resided in us before we turned away from Him in Eden. 

The death God warned Adam of for eating from the forbidden tree was the result of the loss of God's indwelling us by His Spirit.

If you believe you're perfectly loved, you can act on that belief, which releases your experience of God's love, even if you don't feel it at the time you take action. Action by faith is a choice, not a feeling. 

God wants us to want Him, not force us to

God wants us to pursue Him only if we want to. God never forces us to but helps us see the importance and necessity of our pursuit through our mistakes, failures, struggles, and pain, as well as our successes. 

Whenever we pursue things other than (or outside of) God, we find they leave us empty and create problems. 

They also causes us to feel distant from God, resulting in us missing and longing for more of his presence. This drives us to return and pursue Him more faithfully so we might experience him and his infinite love again more fully. 

As we partake of his presence, we long for it more and when it's absent, this increases our desire to avoid whatever alienates us from Him and creates a sense of His absence.

The saying goes that you can lead a horse to water but cannot make it drink. While God never forces us to pursue him He knows the best way to help us see the need for him. To continue with the analogy, He doesn't make us drink but he does know how to salt our oats. 

We may not always know why we suffer or the specific benefit we will gain from it at that time - i.e. if we will ever see any immediate or long term circumstantial benefit, or gain anything at all in this life - but we know the general reason is so we might draw closer to and partake of Him more and who He is as the source of life, love, and all things. This may or may not result in a change of circumstances but it always results in a change of disposition. It brings us to a place of greater joy, contentment, and rest in Him.

We are told that "eye has not yet seen or ear yet heard..." what God has for us in eternity and what exactly being fully glorified and like Christ will look like. But this may be the primary reason we are given to encourage us ¹in our struggles i.e. to make us more Christlike. If and when we trust God, knowing this is sufficient.

The rub is what we gain eternally is often not obvious and has no immediate benefit to us now but a gain we have to accept by faith.    To us an analogy by Tim Keller, we don't have a video explanation of the value we receive from our struggles but an audio one. It is one we are given by words (promises) not by sight - at least not yet. Words we must believe but promises we have not actually seen firsthand with their own eyes or fully experienced. It is this very faith God is seeking to stretch and increase. So we do have some idea -- audio -- why we should remain faithful in our pursue of God but not the complete idea - video i.e. we are not yet face-to-face with Jesus.

Jesus said to him, "Have you believed because you have seen me? Blessed are those who have not seen and yet have believed." - John 20:29

It is our believing while not seeing that God is looking to stretch and expand. 

¹Actually there is another very significant reason for our suffering. It is so we will understand Christ's suffering on our behalf more fully.  The more we understand his suffering -- which usually doesn't occur until we go through our own -- the more we see His love and in turn grow in our love for him and what he did for us. For a further discussion on this click here. 

Another reason may simply be that we become more compassionate for the suffering of others which enables us to better love our neighbor as ourselves. This too is a present benefit.

But note, none of these benefits necessarily improve our circumstances but they do give us hope and enable us to persevere in our challenges with joy. 

The essence of relationships

What is the essence of relationships?

All relationships consist of giving and receiving love (value).

However, different types of relationships occur in a variety of ways between various parties.

What makes them unique is the form or manner in which love and value are expressed or exchanged, i.e., what kind of relationship it is and who the persons with whom love and value are shared. 

Is it between God our Creator and His image bearers (you and I), husband and wife, parent and child, siblings, friends, extended family, business partners or associates, fellow believers, unbelievers etc.?

Each kind of ¹relationship has unique characteristics that the others do not have - i.e., a unique way of showing love and value - while also the same, in that they all share love and value in some form with the other person or object of our love. 

For example, physical intimacy between a husband and wife is unique to that relationship. Love expressed in this way is only legitimately expressed between them and not others or other kinds of relationships.

Physical intimacy makes the marriage union the ²most complete human relationship. Marriage embodies the expression of giving and receiving love in all forms - friendship, companionship, partnership, and physical intimacy - within a single relationship.

Each kind of relationship is valuable and designed by God to reveal something about Him (and us) that the other types of relationships don't. The nature and vastness of God are too great to be fully displayed by any one kind of relationship alone.

How does God fit into all this? 

God himself is relationship as Father and Son in, by, and through the Spirit, and the basis for all relationships. All relationships reflect something of who He is and what He is like.

Therefore, we find the most joy in relationships with persons other than God when we understand and recognize that ultimately they are all gifts from God designed to reveal something about who He is and what He's like, not only to us but to each other. This adds to and aids our understanding of God and helps us appreciate Him more. This also adds greater fullness and meaning to all ³secondary relationships outside of Him, i.e., they are expressions of His love for us.

The highest form of love (and therefore relationship) is God's love. Why? It is the only love that does not require love to be given in return. It is a kind of love that flows out of the fullness of who God is, not out of something needed or missing within God. It is unique and the highest kind of love. It is giving, never taking.

Because God ⁴is love, relationship for God is the "natural" - i.e. organic - outcome of who He is; a being of relationship between the Father and Son, in, by, and through the Spirit. 

This triune relationship has always been from all eternity past. There has never been a time when God was not in a relationship of giving and receiving love. 

God never requires our love ⁵in order to give us His. His love is overflowing and sacrificial, i.e., always giving, never taking. And this is because He doesn't need our love, therefore neither requires it - at least not for His sake. 

One of the most well-known passages in scripture says, "God so loved the world he gave... " What (who) He gave is not something trivial. He gave the most valuable and significant "thing" He could give - the eternal Son of his infinite affection. 

God's love only and always gives and never takes. Not because God doesn't want or enjoy our love in return, He simply doesn't need it (though it is always welcomed and delightfully received when given by us).

Though we occasionally show sacrificial love ourselves - often in "fits and starts" - God always operates this way. He always operates out of fullness, never out of need. He is always overflowing in love and always has from all eternity past between the Father and Son in and through the Spirit, long before we ever came into the picture.

" ...For you know the grace of our Lord Jesus Christ, that though he was rich, yet for your sake he became poor so that you by his poverty might become rich." - 2 Cor 8:9

" ...because of His great love for us, God, who is rich in mercy, made us alive with Christ even when we were dead in our trespasses. It is by grace you have been saved!" - Eph 1:4-5

"...God shows his love for us in that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us. Since, therefore, we have now been justified by his blood, much more shall we be saved by him from the wrath of God. For if while we were enemies we were reconciled to God by the death of his Son, much more, now that we are reconciled, shall we be saved by his life. - Rom 5:8‭-‬10

For related discussions, the following links are offered:

Man...saint or sinner

Man's dilemma

God is relationship

AND

God is nonstop love beauty and glory

Is the wrath of God unfair? Click here.

Why are relationships important? Click here

The giving and receiving of glory/love click here.

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Footnotes:

¹Relationships are so much a necessary part of who we are that adults who choose to remain single will often have pets to be in a relationship with another being - even if only on a simple and limited level with a pet. While pets are wonderful gifts from God and provide a kind of companionship, they come nowhere near the level of a God-centered, vibrant, and healthy human relationship.

²Because of this form of love, marriage is the only relationship that produces offspring i.e. another bearer of God's image. This makes marriage the highest form of relationship - closest to the union of Father, Son, and Spirit - and why the fruit of its union - children - is sacred.

³The best marriage or best relationship between a child and parent or siblings is one that is exercised by the love and forgiveness of God.

⁴Love is central to or the core of God's being.

⁵The Father accepts and totally embraces Christ's love on our behalf i.e. as if it were our own love. 

God also poured out the consequences of our rejection of Him and His love onto Christ, as if Christ rejected the Father. 

All this is offered and given as a gift when we place our trust in Christ and what He did on our behalf. 

The only question is, do you believe and receive what Christ did for you? You will never experience the transforming benefit He offers to you otherwise.

Seeing God's love in our pain

"that I may know him (Christ) and the fellowship of his suffering's…" - Phil 3:10

What is the "fellowship" of Christ's sufferings that Paul desires to take part in - and we, by his example, are also invited to partake in? 

Whatever it is, we must participate in (experience) the "fellowship of his sufferings" if we are to have a deeper understanding of Christ, i.e., who he is, what he did, and why he did it. This is directly connected to knowing him better, as indicated by the above opening comment "...that I may know him..."

What about our suffering? How does it help us to see and know Christ better? 

Stated simply, if we are to know and appreciate Christ more fully and the depth of His love, we must see and enter into Christ's suffering through our own, i.e. we share in (fellowship with) His pain through ours. The more we suffer the greater opportunity we have to understand and appreciate the suffering Christ went through for us.

But how are our pain and experiencing Christ's love connected?

Our pain helps us to more fully understand, appreciate, and sympathize with Christ's pain. The greater our pain, the greater our potential understanding of Christ's, i.e. we can relate to Christ's pain better because of our own. 

Whenever we are in pain, we should reflect on Christ's ³struggles and all the spiritual, emotional, and physical pain he went through for us. Our pain should remind us of His (this is also why we are called to remember Him in communion. It is a reminder of the pain Christ went through for us). The more pain we experience the more deeply we can "enter into" and partake of His - if we choose to and let it.

The more we see and enter into His pain through our own, the more we can also see the depth of his love that moved Christ to suffer on our behalf. 

Seeing the depths of his love in turn causes us to love him more.  

If you wish to love him more, be grateful for your pain (instead of complaining about it), if only because of how it can reveal to you Christ and the immense depth of His love for you more fully. How? By His embracing the pain you and I deserved - that He did not deserve - so we might see and experience His immense love even more.

To expand this further, the more we see His pain, (ultimately caused by us choosing to be our own "god" - when we are not) the more fully and deeply we see the ¹greatness of His love that moved Him to embrace our pain (and the consequences of the pain we cause others) so He might free us from condemnation rightfully due us for the harm/pain we cause others. 

Grasping the depth of Christ's pain rarely happens without us first going through our own pain. The greater ²our pain, the more fully - and the greater the opportunity for us to appreciate ²His i.e. we are better able to understand and "fellowship" with Him in His sufferings through our own suffering, and thereby also more fully enter His love. 

Pain is a two-way street for both Christ and us

We are also reminded that because of his pain, he understands and appreciates ours better as well. He can better fellowship with us in our pain because of His own i.e., we are united with Christ in and through our mutual suffering. 

Amazingly, Christ chose to identify with us in this way! We will have this in common with Him throughout eternity and will be reminded of this - of His immense love for us - every time we look upon Him and behold the scars He carries and experienced for us.

"For we do not have a high priest who is unable to sympathize with our weaknesses, but one who in every respect has been tempted as we are, yet without sin. Let us then with confidence draw near to the throne of grace, that we may receive mercy and find grace to help in time of need." Heb 4:15-16

Pain can help produce two overriding positive outcomes if we let it. 

1. It can humble us by revealing the depths of our need and inability to cope with the pain alone, i.e., without God.

2. It can cause us to more fully appreciate the sufferings of Christ and the greatness of his love that moved him to suffer on our behalf.

These are two vital reasons we should never shrink back from pain and suffering, but instead be thankful for it. In doing so, this enables us to more fully see and take part in his great love.

If you want to know your level of trust in Christ and the strength of your love for Him, ask yourself how much pain are you willing to go through for His sake? 

This is a question Christ asked of himself while suffering for us, and he answered with a resounding "whatever it takes." His willingly going to the cross for you and me was the result of His saying yes to pain. 

How much pain am I willing to go through for His sake?... is a question we may wish to ask ourselves. One I ask myself often.     

Christ asked that question and answered by giving up his life, and allowing this to disrupt His eternal union with the Father. 

"“This is my commandment, that you love one another as I have loved you. Greater love has no one than this, that someone lay down his life for his friends. You are my friends if you do what I command you.."

"By this we know love, that he laid down his life for us, and we ought to lay down our lives for the brothers."

For a further discussion of how God uses evil for our good click here...and here. 

The greater the evil, the greater the opportunity for healing/ grace click here.

For a discussion on the key lesson from the book of Job click here.

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¹When people question the goodness and love of God because of all the pain in the world (including their own) they miss the bigger picture and cannot see that Christ took on the pain of the world and let it kill him so he might ultimately free the world and us from it. Pain is not the final word regarding evil. Life in the resurrected Christ is!

 

The big question isn't why there is suffering and why God allows good people to suffer, but why God allowed Christ - the best and only perfect person - to suffer. 

And maybe a more important question... what is the Father saying to us and about us by allowing it? Hint...He loves us that much.

Until we answer these questions, we can never fully understand, accept, and willingly (gratefully) embrace our own pain and the world's pain. 

We are so jaded towards God that we forget that God so loved the world that he gave. The greatness of love is measured by the greatness of the gift and the sacrifice one is willing to make to give it, i.e. the more the gift costs, the greater the evidence of the giver's love.

And what did God give? His very own Son (think of Abraham being asked and willing to sacrifice his son Isaac). The Son of his infinite and eternal affections. 

Christ's death was not barbaric; it was an expression of extreme love and a willingness to take on our suffering so we might be forever free from it... But only if we will accept His offer.

If we do not, there is no other solution!

The whole notion that the infinite and all-powerful Creator and Sustainer of everything would take on human form and even consider going through undeserved pain for our benefit is mind-boggling when we stop and reflect deeply on this. 

After reading this, I encourage you to do just that. Think deeply about these things often. Ask God to give you a fuller vision and understanding of His love for you through His and your pain. Let them seep deeply into your very being and transform you and your love for God. 

The Father and Son fully understand pain because they fully embraced and experienced it themselves. The Father embraced the pain of giving up the Son of His eternal affections, and the Son embraced His greatest pain by allowing it to separate him from the eternal affection of His Father for a time. This "severing" of their relationship was a far greater pain than any physical suffering.

The only reason that people continue in pain after this life is that they refuse to see and receive God's remedy, which is Christ and all He suffered (willingly) at the hands of ungrateful and wicked men for our sake.

"For it is impossible, in the case of those who have once been enlightened, who have tasted the heavenly gift, and have shared in the Holy Spirit, and have tasted the goodness of the word of God and the powers of the age to come, and then have fallen away, to restore them again to repentance, since they are crucifying once again the Son of God to their own harm and holding him up to contempt." - Hebrews 6:4-6 ESV

²Particularly for condemnation, persecution, and rejection.

³Has someone closest to you ever betrayed you? Have you ever had anyone twist your words, misrepresent you, speak ill of you, or not come through on their commitments or promises to you? Have you ever been unappreciated for sacrificial service to others? Have you ever had anybody forsake you in your greatest hour of need? Christ experienced these and far more, with one big difference. He never complained and did nothing to deserve it. And He did all this for us so we wouldn't have to. And to also honor His Father.