malicious intent or unintentional incompetence

Have you ever meet someone who always assumes the worst behind others hurtful actions? Are you someone who approachs life this way yourself? Many do and aren't even aware of it. They go about life with a chip on their shoulder and always seem to be on guard for others to hurt them. 

Some are often ¹quick to assume there is malicious intent behind the hurtful actions of others i.e. that someone is "out to get them." When, in fact, they are more often then not, the victim of unintentional incompetence or weakness by the offender, instead of ill intent.

Some definitely hurt others out of willful and malicious intent deliberately. But not all. ³I would guess most don't.

I know this is true for myself. Often I have hurt others, not even knowing how. If I didn't know how I hurt them, clearly I didn't have bad intentions in doing so. 

I would venture to guess this is true for the vast majority of us when we offend others or are offended.

Why does someone assume the worst intent behind hurtful actions? It is usually because of past hurt(s) they experienced that they have not let go of. As a result, ²they harbor bitterness and are jaded towards anyone that hurts or mistreats them (or those they care about), and assumes the worst intentions behind the offenders actions.

When an offense occurs does intent matter?

Absolutely. Even our legal system distinguishes between premeditated murder and manslaughter. As a result, the former is a greater offense that carries a greater punishment.

The bible also makes this same distinction..

"And that servant who knew his master’s will but did not get ready or act according to his will, will receive a severe beating. But the one who did not know, and did what deserved a beating, will receive a light beating. Everyone to whom much was given, of him much will be required, and from him to whom they entrusted much, they will demand the more." - Luke 12:47-48 ESV

Knowing someone hurt you unintentionally instead of maliciously, makes a difference. It takes some of the "sting" out of the offense and makes it easier to forgive.

The good news is whether we hurt people and cause them loss or harm intentionally or unknowingly, there is one who took on and experienced the full consequences of the pain we cause others so we don't have to. His name is Jesus. Have you met Him yet? If not, He'd like to meet you.

For a discussion on the underlying primary wound we all experience, click here

Are we a victim or an offender? Click here

Being a victim or playing the victim? Click here

For a discussion on the difference between being sinful and finite, click here.

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Footnotes:

¹To assume the worst possible motive behind an offense may be more an indication of our own intentions, and that we are vindictive vs ignorant because we harbor bitterness over a past offense and have not let it go i.e. because of bitterness, someone may have malicious intent more than someone who is not bitter. As a result, they project this same motive on others.

²anger and bitterness affect how we interpret everything around us and what happens to us. We go about life with a victim mind set instead of a victor mindset. As a result, we often skew and misinterpret things instead of seeing them as they truly are. 

³the sad part is people like this tend to trust no one and are suspicious of everything. This skews everything they see and causes them to misinterpret circumstances and experiences in life and the world in general as well as and especially regarding their view of God and Christ.