To do things well for (1)others require we (2)deny ourselves.
Why? Our focus is not on our own needs and indulging in (3)self-affirming and self-comforting activities but on the (4)needs of another for their comfort and affirmation. Loving our neighbor as we love ourselves and treating others as we would have them treat us requires self-denial.
But self-denial isn't natural or even possible on our own. How do we do this?
The strength or ability to deny (5)ourselves doesn't come from us - (8)our willpower - but can only occur when we look to and draw strength from God through increasing trust and dependence on Him. He, by his commitment of infinite love to us, is the source of our affirmation and comfort, not our efforts to self-affirm and self-comfort.
What is it exactly we are asked to believe/trust in and how does this give us strength?
We are to recognize/believe we are of value, worth, significance, and importance objectively and personally to God i.e., we know/believe this is true because God says he feels this way about us and backed it up by His actions.
Do we believe this? Is God ever wrong? We must have the right answer if we are to ever participate in his love and benefit from how he sees us.
Regardless of what we are feeling or experiencing, God's infinite regard/love for us has already been demonstrated and proven by sending Christ for us. His love is forever ours because of Christ. Nothing can or will ever separate us from it.
It is through God's disposition of relentless, perfect, and infinite love we find strength. Therefore, it is God himself, who He is for us and toward us, that is the source of that strength. Because he - the sovereign creator of all things - is for us, nothing can be against us.
When we really and truly (6)“buy-in” to this, we no longer need to prove our worth - “self affirm”- by doing things to gain affirmation. We know we are already affirmed and it has nothing to do with what we do or don't do. Now we do things out of the strength we derive from that affirmation...God's affirmation. And not just a limited and temporary affirmation but an affirmation that is infinite (and will be eternal) because the source is the almighty infinite, eternal God. He is the "I AM" the only self-existing, infinite, eternal, most valuable, and glorious -- highly affirmed -- being in the universe.
What exactly is the nature of the strength we derive from God? In a word, it is simply knowing I am valuable to this God. When we fully grasp and believe this, nothing else matters. Or as Paul says it, "...if God is for us, who can be against us."
We are called to abide -- firmly remain standing -- in the belief and awareness of God's love/value for us. We are told by Christ himself to never lose sight of our being cherished and precious to him and to hold fast to this.
"As -- in the same way -- the Father has loved me, so have I loved you. Abide -- continually remain and stand -- in my love." John 15:9. The very same love the Father has for a Son, the Son has for us. What greater love is there in the universe than the Father's love of his Son. It is this same love he has for us. Selah -- Pause, reflect, and let that sink in.
How can we be certain God feels this way about us? He not only tells us this -- and because he is trustworthy, this alone is enough -- but He demonstrated it by His actions.
Not just any actions but actions of infinite proportions. Looking intently into and constantly reflecting on what He and His Son denied themself of and put themself through is our proof. The closer and harder we look the more of his love we discover.
This is why we do communion regularly, to remember and reflect on the actions Christ took to restore us back to them in all their infinite love. We are encouraged to remind ourselves (7)repeatedly of this amazing gesture of love.
To continually reflect on these realities is to be strengthened by them. That strength empowers us to focus on others and not ourselves. "As -- in the same way -- the Father has sent me (Jesus) so I send you" i.e. in the power of knowing God's infinite love is ours and with us no matter what do, where we go, or how challenging it is.
For a discussion on why faith is hard work click here.
For a further discussion on how the most valuable values us click here.
For a discussion on the difference between loving vs, valuing click here.
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(1)God, our neighbor, and other brothers and sisters in Christ.
(2)Denying our self and death to self are tied together. There is no death to self without denying our self and to deny our self results in the death of self.
Death to self is not literal or absolute however i.e. we – our self – don't die but we die to self-loving, self-comforting, and self-sustaining behavior/actions as the source of our affirmation.
Death to self doesn't occur by devaluing ourselves, it is knowing our true value in Christ and loving others out of the infinite fountain of God and overflow of His love.
(3)Self-affirming activities are endless. It’s simply any activity we engage in solely to make us feel good about ourselves. This can be done through drugs, sex, food, achievement, money, entertainment, recreation, being better or different than others to make ourselves stand out in order to gain praise and on we can go. Fill in the blank.
It’s important to understand none of these things in themselves are necessarily wrong or bad. All things are created by God for His glory and our joy when understood and used properly. It’s why we seek them that becomes the problem i.e. do we see them as our gods from which we derive value, worth, significance, importance or as gifts from God because He considers us valuable, significant, important.
(4)This does not mean we find no joy in helping others, but that joy is in the other persons joy, not in the joy itself. It is an inclusive, not an exclusive joy.
(5)we - self, still need to be nourished if you will, emotionally and spiritually. This is not through self-effort but in and through God.
(6)This is a lifelong process and the essence of our spiritual development and maturity, i.e. our day-to-day sanctification.
(7) Have you ever wondered why there is no prescribed schedule for communion. I suspect the reason God does not want us to do it as a ritual but as "oft" as we remember his love i.e. it's not an activity to impress God but one that springs forth from the worship of God. If it does not, it becomes a hoop to jump through. The exact opposite of what it's intended to do for us.
(8) It does involve choice, but our choice is to believe God is honored in our loving our neighbor as we love ourselves and He will reward us for our faithful obedience and sacrificial love. This differs from willing ourselves to act solely to prove we can or impress others. The former is looking to and depending on God for grace to love others, and the latter is looking to ourselves with no regard for God and His will. This is subtle and not outwardly obvious because it's a matter of the heart, not our actions.