acceptance vs pleasing

What is the difference between being accepted (received by) someone and pleasing them i.e. bringing them joy?

God fully accepts us

We are told God fully accepts us when we are in Christ. Nothing we do, say, or go through will make this more or less so than it already is. In the eyes of God, we are perfect and fully loved as if we are perfect (even though we are not).

We can please Him 

However, as our loving Father (parent), he is always delighted when we faithfully pursue Him and His directions (commands). This doesn't mean he loves us more for doing so, it means we experience and participate in His love more fully which brings Him greater joy.  He delights in our delight in Him. 

This isn't hard to understand when we consider our kids. Because they are our kids, who we love dearly, we always want what's best for them no matter what. When they go down a path we know is ¹not good for them, our love is expressed even more by the ache it causes us and by the actions we take to help prevent their harm - even if it causes them some pain (loss) now to avoid a greater pain (loss) later. We love our kids no matter what and simply do not want our kids to be harmed ¹if at all possible. 

And when they return and acknowledge they have been on the wrong path, are we not delighted? Yes, but why? 

Just as the father of the prodigal son was delighted to see his son return - so much so that he ran to him when he saw him a far way off (why do you think he spotted him so far away? He was scanning the horizon hoping and looking for his return). His love for his son was steadfast and never waned even in his sons rebellion and wandering. In this way, our heavenly Father pursues and delights in us when we return to Him in order to pursue and honor him. He knows our honoring him is in our best interest and for his greatest glory.

If this is the kind of love we have for our kids - imperfect as we and our love are - how much more so is this the kind of love our perfect heavenly Father has for us?

7 “Ask, and it will be given to you; seek, and you will find; knock, and it will be opened to you. 8 For everyone who asks receives, and the one who seeks finds, and to the one who knocks, it will be opened.

9 Or which one of you, if his son asks him for bread, will give him a stone? 10 Or if he asks for a fish, will give him a serpent? 11 If you then, who are evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your Father who is in heaven give good things to those who ask him! Matthew 7:7-11

For a discussion on whether God's love is conditional or unconditional click here  

For a discussion on being under grace not law click here

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¹we know that pain can be a good teacher, so we may allow our kids to make mistakes. We simply make ourselves available to comfort and embrace them when they return and seek it and us.  

As a child, when my dad spanked me, he would say something like "this hurts me more than it does you."  I would think to myself "sure it does dad" having no idea what he meant. Once I had my kids I understood. He was inflicting a smaller pain to prevent me from experiencing a much greater pain if I continued on the destructive course I was on.

When my kids were young we had a golden retriever named Buddy. Though he was a great dog he had zero street sense...less than zero. He had wandered into the street on several occasions and at this point had been hit at least 3 times. As a result, he was once laid up for almost a month from one incident. 

One day he had gotten off his chain and bolted for the street. I ran after him screaming "stop Buddy" and was able to grab him right before he ran into traffic. I yanked him into the yard, grabbed a small branch from the tree, and swatted his backside until he yelped. My son yelled "stop! You're hurting him, dad." To which I replied, "exactly!" Then I explained to David that causing Buddy a little pain now may prevent him from going into the street again and getting killed... far more significant harm. I asked my son which was more acceptable to him, for Buddy to get killed or to experience a little pain now that might prevent him from being killed in the future. He got it. 

God desires our highest good and knows that He alone is that highest good and we experience him most fully in our faithful pursuit of him. When we veer off that path (and run into traffic) He will either allow us to suffer the consequences so we learn to more faithfully pursue him or deliberately and directly chasten us - remember it is those who God loves that he corrects. However, when we are faithfully pursuing him, he is pleased because he knows it not only brings him his highest and rightful honor but also is for our greatest good. This has nothing to do with whether he does or doesn't accept and love us and everything to do with the fact that he already perfectly does in Christ. The fruit of knowing we are perfectly loved is faithfulness to the only one who loves us perfectly.

Why Christ must be the only way

"By the works of the law (living by moral standards) no one will be justified…" i.e. declared righteous, whole, in right standing with God - accepted, approved, and fully embraced by God and in tune with ourselves, others, and the rest of creation.

When we understand what Paul is saying, we realize that our only hope or chance of God's acceptance and our wholeness is through Christ - his good or right efforts done on our behalf and ¹assigned to us as a gift. There is no other way to be restored to God i.e. living perfectly according to God's (or any other) standards won't pass because we simply can't do it.  Everyone comes up short.

Every other way - i.e. religion (even some so-called versions of Christianity) - involves somehow making ourselves acceptable to God through our efforts i.e. justified by being good or doing enough good or right things. Paul clearly says in the above verse this simply isn't possible. ¹No efforts (good deeds-works) or paths of any kind can cause God to receive and accept us. 

The reason isn't because of exclusion but necessity.

Christ alone offers restoration and alignment with God as a gift to be received by faith i.e. based on our recognizing the need for and accepting the promise of perfect righteousness offered as a gift. There are no exceptions.

Why?

Because only Christ did what was necessary to restore us back to God. No one else did or can do what he did... not us or any religious leader. Though there is wisdom within all religions, none provides complete and perfect restoration to our Creator.

Christ alone fulfilled the just requirements of perfectly ²honoring God by loving Him with all his heart, soul, mind, and strength, even to the point of death (and then raised himself back to life as proof he accomplished this and was who He claimed to be...the way, the truth, and the life). Name another person - religious founder or not - who did this? No one else ever has or ever will. He is the only one who lived His entire life carrying out His Father's desires perfectly.

The good news is He offers to assign this perfectly lived out (righteousness) life to us as a gift... who haven't earned it, lived it, deserve it or ever can or will. For all the above reasons, Christ is the only solution and our only hope.

Without Christ doing this for us we could never be restored to right standing with God. All of us miss the mark of loving and honoring God with all we are and have as He rightly deserves. We all come up short, without exception. For us to do on our own what is necessary to restore us to God simply is not possible.

To acknowledge this doesn't sit well with our rebellious independence and attempts to be our own god i.e. our own deliverer and provider. Pursuing life independent of God was first attempted by Adam and has continued to this very day. We all take this approach. 

Those who object to Christ's claim of being the only way, do not understand - and refuse to believe - that outside of Christ there simply is no other way to God. Only Christ did what we or no other religious founder could ever do. We are all mere creatures, not the Creator i.e. we are not the source of life and love, God alone is. Not only so but he  extended His life and love to us only in and through Christ, no one else.

Simply stated, "other ways" do not understand or acknowledge justification by faith (vs good deeds) but think there is a way to possibly justify ourselves by finding a path that will cause, force, or require God (or the universe or whatever else they may believe) to receive us (align us with e.g. "the force" or source if you prefer). They say the path doesn't matter, but how faithful you are to that path. And if you are faithful enough, you have a shot of being accepted by God - aligned with Creator or source or the universe etc. And if you do not, maybe you'll get another shot at it through reincarnation until you finally achieve perfection-nirvana.

The problem with this approach is it's not about how well you walk a path, it's about recognizing you never will walk any path well enough to align yourself with and honor God as He deserves. Only Christ did this and only he has the right to bestow His achievements on us as a gift. Only he can justify us (rightly align us)...we can never justify ourselves.

Outside of Christ, there is no path back to God. It simply does not exist. It's not a matter of Christ being another way to God out of many. It is that he is the only way we can be restored to right standing with God. It is by receiving His free offer - which he alone earned. That's it! There is no other way.

This is good news since this offer is for anyone who will humbly recognize their need for it and receive it. When they do they will be immediately and perfectly restored back to God. God has made a way for all of us to be perfect in His eyes and fully accepted and embraced by Him.

But this is bad news for those who arrogantly believe they can save themselves i.e. gain a good standing with God - become approved (aligned with) and accepted by him (or the "force" or karma etc.) - by being good enough, if they follow a path hard and long enough.  As long as they are faithful to their path, whatever path that is, they will be OK. To say their path won't work (is not a way to God) requires them to admit they (or the path they are on) can never be good enough...something few are willing to admit.

This is the real issue and objection to Christ being our only option. No one likes to hear this. This is at the heart of their objection to Christ claiming he's it... the only way. They do not accept they can never do or be good enough to reach God or divinity etc.

This cuts to the heart of our arrogance and stubborn belief that with enough time and effort we can somehow ³be made right with God and make God accept us (or do enough good to outweigh the bad) and save ourselves - enter Nirvana...become self-actualized... do enough rosaries, hail Mary's, or any other promise of self-salvation offered. 

Our real problem isn't that Christ is the only way to God but that in order for us to be restored back to God at all, it must be done for us, not by us. God must do it because we cannot. We do not like being told we are not the captain of our own spiritual deliverance or salvation i.e. we are not our own god but must answer to another; to the Creator and Sustainer of life, love, and all things. 

We are not that person and never will be regardless of what path we take and how hard we pursue it.

If in fact Christ was simply another way of gaining a right standing with God by good or right conduct, it is understandable why some would see Him as simply one among many ways to God. But this is not what Christ says or offers. Christ said He was the way to God. Or to use Paul's words, "By the works of the law no one will be justified." Christ is the only way to God.

For a further discussion and what it means to be righteous click here

For a further discussion on why Christ is our only way to be in right standing with God click here

For a further discussion on our alienation from God and the solution, click here. 

For a further discussion on the difference between religion and Christ, click here. 

For a discussion on the meaning of the "broad and narrow way" click here. 

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¹Honor he rightfully deserves as the Giver and Sustainer of life, love and all things.  

²We are assuming that there is absolute right and wrong. For those who believe everything is relative, you may find the following two links helpful. 

The internal dynamics of our dilemma and God's amazing solution/offer!

The basis for morality

³When we accept Christ's free offer of restoration to God we are acknowledging that the need for restoration exists and we cannot restore ourselves. This is a posture of humility.

⁴Or at least if I do more good than bad things it will be enough to offset the bad things. Christ didn't do more good things than bad, he lived for God's honor and glory perfectly. This perfection is what God's perfection calls for and requires to be aligned and right with Him. And thanks to Christ, has been lived out and fulfilled for us by Christ and offered to us as a gift. In Christ, we are now perfectly righteous ⁴(acceptable to our Creator) if and when we receive this gift.

⁵Technically he is aligned with us as far as his disposition towards us. He now sees and loves us perfectly because he sees us in Christ i.e. fully "clothed" in his perfection.