Misplaced honor

At the heart of all poor (wrong) choices is misplaced ¹honor. We either honor (glorify - value) something more than it deserves or ¹dishonor who or what deserves it most.

Why would we do this? 

Because we do not properly see the true value of things. As a result, we either assign to something greater value than it actually has or we do not recognize how valuable something truly is.

An illustration:

A starving blind man has

two items placed before him - 

1. A warm, freshly baked loaf of bread and 

2. A cold, smooth, egg like, 5 pound piece of gold (worth around $160K at today's prices).

When asked to pick one, which would he pick? He would likely pick the bread. 

Why? Though he is blind, he can still smell its delicious aroma and feel its soft warm texture, but can't see what either object is. The gold egg would be cold, heavy, odorless, and tasteless. 

Also, his hunger might be so great it overpowers his ability to ³reason i.e. his need for ²food will overwhelm his ability to think clearly and properly assess the possibility of the other object having a greater value. When he holds the piece of gold, he'll only know it's cold, smooth and heavy but he would not be able to determine what it is...i.e. gold, lead, steel, polished marble, etc? 

Because his ability to evaluate the true value of the objects is impaired and he is limited in his ability to accurately assess that value, it is highly likely he will not make the wisest choice. 

If he chose the egg over the bread, it would be an act of faith (or maybe an act of stupidity, according to his blind friends). The sure thing would be the warm bread. 

But he actually made his choice based on ⁴faith – an act of trust in one thing and distrust in another - that the bread was more valuable than this tasteless, odorless 5-pound "egg," when in reality the gold was of far greater value and could gain for him all the food - and more - he needed for a long time.

Why was trust necessary in this situation? Because of the limitations of the blind man. He could not see what the objects were before him, only feel and smell them. 

So it is with all of us. Because we are spiritually blind (and God is Spirit) and we do not possess infinite knowledge or the ability to be everywhere to observe everything in the universe there is to know, we can not assess whether God exists or what He's truly like. We have hints, but because of our appetite for immediate gratification, we ⁵opt for created things vs the Creator of those things who is far (i.e. infinitely) more valuable - if only because all things exist because of Him. Therefore, we will assess what He is like based on a very limited understanding of what we experience only with our senses.

Add to the analogy a person presenting him the two objects. And that person who can see, tells him the egg like object is the better choice (but with no further information given). What would the blind man do? It all depends on how much he knows and trusts this person.

For us to choose the better of two options, we must see their true value (or trust the one presenting them who clearly knows their true value) or we will not give them their proper regard - honor.

Because we can not see fully, we must trust. Either choice we make requires faith...faith that our senses are sufficient to accurately assess things or faith in someone who claims to have perfect understanding, cares for us perfectly and has the complete ability (power) to deliver on what they promise-claim.

Our perception of God is skewed for many reasons, keeping us from seeing and trusting who he truly is. 

Christ said if you have seen me you have seen the Father, i.e. God. If you want to know what God is like, get to know me (Jesus)...who I am - my heart, why I stepped into this world of suffering out of the bliss of heaven, what I did to remedy the pain, suffering and brokenness in you and the world so you could permanently and ultimately be free from it one day. When we understand these, we will know God's true heart and character and honor Him accordingly.

For a further discussion on seeing clearly, click here.

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¹Wrapped up in this idea of honor (glory) is the value, significance, and worth we give or do not give something. This is also the essence - the heart - of worship. When we honor someone according to their true worth, we glorify or worship them.

²Spiritual food (food for our heart) comprises a sense of meaning, value and purpose - in a word love. We choose that which we believe will best give us love. But that choice is based on our limited understanding. To have true understanding, we must ask someone who has perfect knowledge and who perfectly loves to reveal to us what is best. Perfect love engenders trust.

³The next time you go grocery shopping, pay attention to your choices when you're hungry versus when you're not. If you have already tried this, you may notice the food you select will be different. When hungry, you may pick more foods that require no preparation so you can eat them right away vs food that is more healthy but takes time to prepare. Our hunger affects our choice. Immediate gratification vs delayed gratification may dominate unless you've learned the health benefits of preparing a balanced meal and how to discipline yourself through delayed gratification, i.e. you've learned (and believe) delayed gratification is the better choice.

⁴Faith in what? Faith that what we seek will deliver on what it appears to promise. That promise comprises something giving to us what we believe we need most. 

All choices involve faith by virtue of our limits. We are not all-knowing, all-powerful and everywhere present to confirm what we seek is what we most need or whether it will give us what it appears to promise. So we must both trust that what we trust in can deliver on what it promises. And what it can deliver is, in fact, what is best for us (not just what we think is best).

So the question we must ask ourselves is how is our approach working so far? If you feel it's working great and it is does not involve the Creator, then you will never see him as he truly is.

⁵Not totally unlike what Adam and Eve did.

Sowing and reaping

In the parable of the sower, Christ addresses the different results of those hearing the good news of God's kingdom. The question this article seeks to address is whether advancing the kingdom occurs only by ¹sharing  the good news verbally? Can the kingdom of God be advanced by other means such as our deeds (work/job/money/ business) as well as our words? If so how?

2 Cor 9:6-11 talks about a financial gift the church in Corinth had promised to the church in Jerusalem. Paul is encouraging the Corinthian believers to follow through with this gift in a way that honors God and why they should give it. Paul is clearly talking about money, how we obtain it, use it, and increase it.

So what does money have to do with advancing the gospel of the kingdom? We usually don't think of advancing the gospel financially. After all the gospel is spiritual in nature, not material... or is it? We usually think the pursuit of money is in conflict with and contrary to advancing God's kingdom; that the kingdom advances through our poverty, (e.g. blessed are the poor...Lk 6:20) not through wealth. 

Can we make money, use money, do business, and advance the gospel of the kingdom for the glory of God with money? If so, how?

2 Cor 9:6-11 captures the essence of how to use material resources to love others and advance God's purposes, kingdom, and glory.

In general terms, it always takes resources to advance any endeavor. Be that time, talents, money, or other resources. God's kingdom is no exception. It may be spiritual in nature but it still involves advancement in this physical or material world. Simply because God's kingdom, in essence, is spiritual does not make money somehow unnecessary (as if God will sustain His purposes in this material/physical world without physical resources or that the fruit of financial profit or material gain from our efforts are somehow not dignified enough to advance God's purposes). 

In short, God's kingdom may not be of this world but it certainly must advance in it. Therefore we must utilize the resources of creation - whether this involves the use of our personal or internal gifts (i.e. skills, talents, experience etc.), or external gifts such as money, time, and material resources - to obtain what is necessary to advance God's purposes in this world as well as the next. Laying up our treasures in heaven still requires obtaining and having treasures in this world that can be laid up.

And of course, it takes a job or a business or investments to make money. It always has and always will. As the saying goes money does not grow on trees. 

If you are following the series "The Chosen" note how it illustrates the necessity of making money to support Jesus and His disciples. Zebedee, the father of the disciples James and John started an olive oil business just for this reason.

Money in itself is also neither good nor bad no more than any resource or gift God gives us. How and why we make it and use it determines this.

So what are the key principles to advancing God's kingdom through business/work?

We find 3 in 2 Cor 9:6-11

"The point is this: 

(principle ¹) - whoever sows sparingly will also reap sparingly, and whoever sows bountifully will also reap bountifully." 

(principle ²) - "Each one must give (not only our money but our time, energy, talents, and the necessary resources to generate more money) as he has decided in his heart" (he must decide beforehand how much he's willing to give/give up/sacrifice before he starts sowing and watering), 

(principle ³) - "not reluctantly (unwillingly) or under compulsion (forced), for God loves a cheerful giver..." (whatever you do, do it out of love - cheerfully - for God and your fellow man...Not to win the acceptance or praise of others).

These 3 principles above can be summarized as follows:

1. Great results ⁴require great effort and great effort for God's honor always produces great results now and in eternity. This is foundational to the overall principle of sowing and reaping.

2. Decide beforehand that you are willing to do ²whatever it takes to accomplish the task/mission God has given you. Be deliberate, not haphazard, in your effort and approach. We must approach every worthwhile, God given endeavor with a  "do-or-die" attitude if we are to obtain whatever God calls us to. Just because God calls you to a task does not mean it will be easy or not require great effort. 

Nothing worth pursuing will be easy. We are told we will encounter thorns and thistles in our labor. Don't be surprised by roadblocks or setbacks, expect them. Resistance is not necessarily an indication God is not in a certain endeavor i.e. that He disapproves of it because of set backs or challenges. It may simply be that in this world we will have tribulation. All endeavors worth pursuing require great effort. 

3. To go about any endeavor willingly and cheerfully we must be moved by love for God and others vs. the approval of others or merely personal gain.

Verse 8 goes on to say,

"And God is able to make ³all grace abound to you so that having all sufficiency in all things at all times, you may abound in every good work."

This verse is not necessarily talking about the outcome but the strength necessary to pursue the task God has put before us i.e. strength needed to complete the task comes from God, not us.  

It is also worth noting that the sufficiency of grace is also mentioned when Paul asked God to remove a thorn in his flesh i.e. grace is how God empowers us whether that involves enduring a thorn in the flesh or accomplishing the work He has given us to do. Grace is required for both.

Work or good deeds can take many forms. One of those is generating extra resources i.e. money (profits) to put towards another endeavor that honors God. But we must also never forget it is God who works in us both the will and desire to do so.

"...it is God who works in you both the will and do of his good pleasure..." Phil 2:12

10 "He who supplies seed to the sower and bread for food will supply and multiply your seed for sowing and increase the harvest of your righteousness. You will be enriched in every way to be generous in every way, which through us will produce thanksgiving to God."
2 Cor 9:6‭-‬8‭, ‬10‭-‬11 ESV

"... He who supplies seed ..."  He not only empowers us to sow and water but provides the seed to sow.

"...You will be enriched in every way to be generous in every way..."

I once heard a Christian entrepreneur and millionaire say it this way. The world looks at money and says, "get all you can so you can keep all you can, then sit on the can, and protect your can. Don't let anyone get into your can." God however says, "get all you can so you can give all you can." Both focus on acquiring and achieving as much as possible but for totally different ends.  

God blesses us not so we can indulge in those blessings for our personal consumption only but primarily so we'll have more to bless others with. This gives us additional resources to love our neighbor as we love ourselves, thereby advancing God's Kingdom and purposes on earth i.e. "your will be done on earth as it is in Heaven." The more we can obtain in this life the more resources and opportunity we have to love others in ways we would not have without them. Loving our neighbors is no less than living out the second-greatest commandment. It is what God calls us to do.

"...will produce thanksgiving to God..." 

Our diligent faithfulness to the ventures or tasks God has given and entrusted to us (i.e. our job, work, investments, or business and the gifts and abilities to perform them) will point others to God either by doing things cheerfully with excellence but also by acquiring extra resources to support the advancement of His kingdom through blessing others physically i.e. materially or financially. This ultimately leads to God's honor and praise.

This passage suggests our work is a primary means by which we advance the gospel of God's kingdom, thereby bringing glory to God and joy in God by others, resulting in our own joy.

Conclusions and application

Clearly, 2 Cor 9:6-11 indicates there is a direct correlation between sowing and reaping. The more we sow the more we reap...the less we sow the less we reap. It's not just common sense but ⁴a principle of life and nature. 

Sowing and repeating isn't just about negative consequences for sowing bad seed but also a great harvest for sowing good seed. The more the better.

To say it a different way, to see more results you must do more, pray more, give more effort, time, resources, etc. Though God in his grace and mercy may and sometimes does intervene directly to address needs despite our efforts, normally he works with, in, through, and by them. He engages us, His kids, to carry out His purposes on earth as He does in heaven. Paul himself continued utilizing his tent-making skills even when planting churches.

Related passages:

2 Corinthians 3:5

5  "What then is Apollos? And what is Paul? 

They are servants through whom you believed, as the Lord has assigned to each his role. 6  I planted the seed (of truth) and Apollos watered it, but God made it grow." - 1 Cor 3:5-6

Even though God must grow or "give the increase" to our efforts - he does so according to our sowing and watering. Something (seed) must be planted and watered by ²us for it to be multiplied by God. (We will look at what "it" is further into the passage).

Sowing and reaping applies to not only the amount we sow but also the kind of seed (gifts) we are given to contribute to the harvest. Paul's planting was different than Apollos watering. Both were needed and used to bring about a harvest. Whatever gift and task God has given, each is unique to us. It is that gift we should use, not something we don't have. To say it another way, don't try to be someone or something you aren't created or called to be i.e. someone God has not gifted you to be.

A story goes that one day a farmer who had recently become a believer was out plowing in the field when he saw the letters "PC" in the clouds. He thought this must surely mean God was calling him to preach Christ (PC). After a year in seminary, he found himself struggling financially, with grades and generally struggling to keep up with the class load. He went to the dean of students to discuss this and after a few minutes the dean said, "I think God was telling you to plant corn (PC)." The moral of the story? If God has called you to be a significant financial means of supporting the church, He will also gift you in business or with investments to make a significant amount of money. 

And as we prove ourselves trustworthy by being faithful to what God has already given, He gives us more.

7 "So neither he who plants nor he who waters is anything, but only God, who makes things grow..." 1 Cor 3:7

...is anything... He's not saying we are nothing or have no role in the process but that we are not ultimately the reason for the results, God is. When done well, God will praise and reward us. The following context supports this.

"Not that we are competent in ourselves to claim that anything comes from us, but our competence comes from God." 2 Cor 3:5

God and I working together.

"Therefore, my beloved, as you have always obeyed, so now, not only as in my presence but much more in my absence, (you) work out your own salvation with fear and trembling, for it is God who works in you, both to will and to work for his good pleasure." - Phil 2:12‭-‬13 ESV

How do we and God work to accomplish things at the same time? It is not a "both/and" relationship but an "in/through" one. It is God who gives us the desire, will, strength, and ability to work the work and it is our arms, legs, minds, etc (i.e. us) being empowered. He provides the strength but we are still the ones doing the sweating, not God.

Col 1:29
"For this I toil, ⁶struggling with all his energy that he powerfully works within me."

...struggling... God is the one empowering us but this does not exclude our sweat, persistence, and perseverance. He enables us to sweat and persist by and through His grace and love to us and out to others. To use an analogy we are the sale boat but He is the wind.

Even though 2 Cor 9 is talking about people giving financial/ material resources; in principle, it would hold true in giving any resources, be that time, energy, abilities, material possessions money, etc. Money is only the fruit of using our other gifts/resources to acquire it. 

Financial and material resources come through hard work. Sharing the good news is not by our words only. In fact, our good and excellent deeds give greater credibility to our words. An old saying is I don't care about what you know (and say) until I know that you care. A primary way we show care is by blessing others with our time, and attention and that is often with or through the material blessings God has given us.

"And God is able to make ³all grace abound to you so that (you) having all sufficiency in all things at all times, you may abound in every good work." - 2 Cor 9:‬8

It is not a question of whether work - a job, investment, or business - can be a means of ministry but whether it is a good effort we are engaged in i e. It's not what we do that is most important by why we do it. What determines a good work versus a bad work is not just what we do but the goal of our efforts i.e. are we seeking to advance our purposes or God's. If God's, then whatever we do, do it with everything we've got for His glory.

i.e. ...⁶struggling with all his energy that he powerfully works within me." Col 1:29

The other implication is this takes sacrifice. We have to give up something we could use elsewhere - such as money or time - wherever God directs us to get a return (increase) on whatever God has called us to. We should know this going in and decide how much we're willing to give up in order to gain the outcome we hope for and believe God desires and has called us to.

The good news is if and when we are giving (working, sacrificing) for the right reason - i.e. using all the resources He's given us to advance His kingdom for His glory, not ours - He will not only bless those efforts (and multiply our resources to do even more to honor Him and bless others) but also empower us to do what we have been given to do and are committed to doing. This is His promise, no ifs, ands, or butts. 

When we do all things (especially our business or job) for God's honor out of love for others we can do it without reservation or doubt we are doing a good thing.

We also must be clear that we do not sow and water in and by our own strength. 

And when we experience good results, it is only because of His hand of blessing i.e. for this to happen, we must be and are empowered by God's Spirit/Love i.e. ultimately the results are because of Him; because of the strength and energy He gives us to complete the task and Him clearing the path or opening doors to bring it about.

God is engaged in every part of the process. He provides the seed. His Spirit is the power that gives us the will to work and drives us within, as well as multiplies our efforts without.

And we are engaged in every part of the process. It is ⁴our gifts, abilities, resources, efforts, hands, feet, bodies, and minds that are required in the sowing and watering and also our prayers that are necessary in asking God to give the increase. We are fully engaged in every phase.

Every endeavor (work) God gives us i.e. calls us to, we are engaged in is a partnership with God for His glory as well as our joy. This results in the thanks of others which also brings joy and honor to God and to us.

For a discussion on the fallacy of the health and wealth gospel click here.

For a discussion on giving as we have received click here.

For a discussion on the importance of discipline and diligence click here

For a discussion on the importance of excellence click here.

For a discussion on the nature of God's kingdom click here.

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¹Is sharing the good news limited exclusively to speaking about what Christ did for us? No. When we understand the gospel, it permeates, shapes, and drives every aspect of our lives and actions as well as our words. It entails not only what we do but why we do it. This includes our regular day-to-day job, business, or any venture and how we go about them.

²Exerting whatever effort is required - sowing and watering - takes time and effort; time away from other things that may be more immediately gratifying. 

Sacrifice and self-denial do not necessarily involve a huge loss but simply setting aside legitimate but inferior desires for more productive God-honoring goals e.g. Instead of checking your email or the latest news, it may be more fruitful to spend some time reaching out to someone (family, friend, business partner) that could use some of God's love and attention - through you.

³grace -  The fuel that energizes our abounding is God's love - which is ours only by grace, not because of our faithfulness (obedience) or productivity.  Faithfulness does not cause grace but is the means by which grace is released. Our experience of God's love is tied to our faithfulness. 

⁴This principle is so certain that even if we sow for the wrong reason - i.e. for our honor and gain not God's - if done diligently and without giving up we will eventually get results. It is how things are designed to operate regardless of our motives. However, when done for God's honor, we are promised God's support and His wind (breath/Spirit) at our backs. Otherwise it could - and likely will - eventually result in burnout. 

⁵By saying these are ours, we must recognize and acknowledge all we are and have is given, loaned to us, and sustained by God to advance his purposes. Nothing that is, would be if not for God, including all the gifts we are given and skills we acquire.

Do not be deceived: God is not mocked, for whatever one sows, that will he also reap. For the one who sows to his own flesh will from the flesh reap corruption, but the one who sows to the Spirit will from the Spirit reap eternal life. And let us not grow weary of doing good (not just bad), for in due season we will reap, if we do not give up. So then, as we have opportunity, let us do good to everyone, and especially to those who are of the household of faith. - Gal 6:7‭-‬10 

⁶Col 1:29 

For this I toil, struggling with all his energy that he powerfully works within me.

To or for-

Εἰς (Eis)
Preposition
Strong's 1519: A primary preposition; to or into, of place, time, or purpose; also in adverbial phrases.

this end-

ὃ (ho)
Personal / Relative Pronoun - Accusative Neuter Singular
Strong's 3739: Who, which, what, that.

I labor,-

κοπιῶ (kopiō)
Verb - Present Indicative Active - 1st Person Singular
Strong's 2872: From a derivative of kopos; to feel fatigue; by implication, to work hard.

striving-

ἀγωνιζόμενος (agōnizomenos)
Verb - Present Participle Middle or Passive - Nominative Masculine Singular
Strong's 75: From agon; to struggle, literally, figuratively, or genitive case.

with all-

κατὰ (kata)
Preposition
Strong's 2596: A primary particle; down, in varied relations (genitive, dative or accusative) with which it is joined).

His-

αὐτοῦ (autou)
Personal / Possessive Pronoun - Genitive Masculine 3rd Person Singular
Strong's 846: He, she, it, they, them, same. From the particle au; the reflexive pronoun self, used of the third person, and of the other persons

energy-

ἐνέργειαν (energeian)
Noun - Accusative Feminine Singular
Strong's 1753: Working, action, productive work, activity; in the NT, confined to superhuman activity. From energes; efficiency.

working-

ἐνεργουμένην (energoumenēn)
Verb - Present Participle Middle - Accusative Feminine Singular
Strong's 1754: From energes; to be active, efficient.

powerfully-

δυνάμει (dynamei)
Noun - Dative Feminine Singular
Strong's 1411: From dunamai; force; specially, miraculous power.

within-

ἐν (en)
Preposition
Strong's 1722: In, on, among. A primary preposition denoting position, and instrumentality, i.e. A relation of rest; 'in, ' at, on, by, etc.

me-

ἐμοὶ (emoi)
Personal / Possessive Pronoun - Dative 1st Person Singular
Strong's 1473: I, the first-person pronoun. A primary pronoun of the first person I.

A suggested prayer 

What to begin and close each day of work if you are building a business.

God bring to mind, lead, and bring me to the people you wish me to work (or build my business) with and minister to. 

Also enable me to work in a way that most honors you i.e. with faith, focus, diligence, energy, strength, and love to make whatever ²sacrifice is necessary to reach (serve) the maximum number of people for you, with the potential you've given me so that I might richly bless (love) others for your glory and praise and my happiness.

Show yourself strong on my behalf so that I may bring you greater honor i.e. more fully reveal and display your goodness - i.e. make you look good, not me.

God, only you can increase and multiply the fruit of my efforts... (efforts empowered by You, but mine just the same). I ask you to do so for the honor of your Son. So be it... Amen!

 

 

 

Why do kids rebel?

Even with the best and most loving environment (and parents) we could ever possibly ¹grow up with, all of us still are ²in pain. It is inevitable we go through some kind of pain no matter how good life or our parents are. 

Pain occurs both internally and externally. First internally because we are spiritually disconnected from our Creator; the source of life and love.  

Externally because there is meanness, abuse, disease, decay, destruction and death throughout creation and among all God's creatures because creation is also not fully in harmony with it's Creator (due to us). 

Since early on in life we don't recognize our true condition - being alienated and separated from the source of life, love and all things - we conclude our pain must be solely (and certainly may be in part) our parents fault. i.e. if our parents - who are our primary care givers - really loved us they would help us be ³free of this ⁴pain (e.g. get or give us whatever we want when we want it to comfort us) ...or so we assume. 

We fail to recognize that pain is a state we are all in and not the result of our circumstances and the ⁵lack of our parents desire to relieve us of pain. No one, no matter how close to us they are or how deeply they care, can give us what we were created for - infinite, unfailing love. This can only come from God.

This is why a child often

rebels from their parents and their upbringing. They feel slighted because of their pain, assuming it must primarily, if not solely, be their parents ³fault. So they rebel and often want nothing to do with how they were raised.  

Only by God's infinite love extended to us solely by grace can any of us - parent or child - be whole and love others well i.e. as we were created to.

For a discussion on what it means to be broken click here.

For a discussion on why we need God and He doesn't need us click here and here.

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Footnotes:

¹Even if we receive the best possible instructions and directions (the how to's) for life we still may not receive the best possible love from our parents (which gives kids their why and "want to" i.e. reason for obedience). This is due to their parents not knowing God's love well themselves.

²Only the love of God can fill the void within us all - parents and children alike. However if parents are receiving and experiencing God's love well they will in turn model and extend that love to their kids well and point to (credit) God as their Source i.e. the true reason a parent can love well. In this way they may be able to point there kids to God well enough that they're kids learn to trust in that love and transfer their trust over to God (the Source of their parents love) when they go out on their own. They've come to trust that they, in fact, are not actually on their own because they've learned to live under the umbrella of God's love in and through their parents and therefore continue on trusting in and drawing directly from God's love they initially saw from their parents once they evetually move out.

Also giving a child a lot of care and attention doesn't necessarily mean you are loving that child well. The parent may be doing this out of their own need for love by seeking to gain through their kids what they themselves should only be getting from God.

³The problem is parents cannot ultimately free us from our pain, only God can. The best thing our parents can do is point us to the God of all comfort.

⁴I'm speaking of emotional pain which can manifest itself in many forms. It is not just necessarily anguish but can also be expressed by boredom or anger and any negative emotion in between. 

⁵And in one sense it is the parent's fault because as parents we are tasked to love our children well and also offered the resources to do so i.e. God Himself in all His infinite love. As parents we can only love well if we receive God's love well.

But in another sense it's not the parents fault at all. A child's pain is ultimately the result of their own disconnect from their Creator not because of their parents.

If our parents are not well connected to God then they could be the means of harm and pain due to their own disconnect with God, resulting in even greater pain for their child. This would pile pain on top of the pain our kids already experience due to the parents own disconnect with God. 

When it's all said and done the solution to the pain we are all in - parents and children alike - is to reconnect with our Creator. We are all broken and disconnected from the Source of love, life and all things.

This explains how some kids rebel even with loving parents while some kids excel with unloving parents. Ultimately it is God we all need, while our parents can only be a primary means of introducing their child to God by loving them as they take in God's love themselves. 

The most fundamental reality about us (parents and kids alike) is as long as we are loved we are well spiritually and emotionally. To the extent we are not, we are not well.

Being loved vs experiencing it.

We are perfectly connected to God and fully accepted, loved and embraced by God in and through Christ. This is our status and standing before God. It is fixed, settled and complete. Nothing we do or don't do will take away or add to His love for us. This is an objective reality that does not change and is not based on what we do or how we feel.

But how do we connect with God practically and more fully experience and partake of this love God has set upon us and has for us? The following 2 verses give us an indication.

"Whoever has my commandments and keeps them, he it is who loves me. And he who loves me will be loved by my Father, and I will love him and manifest myself to him.” - Jn 14:21

Jesus answered him,

“If anyone loves me, he will keep my word, and my Father will love him, and WE will come to him and make our home with him. - Jn 14:23

At 1st glance these two verses sound like the Father and the Son's love for us, and being present with us, plus Christ manifesting himself to us are all contingent on our performance i.e. earned by us, not given to us as a gift. However we are told elsewhere in several places that salvation is by grace i.e. a gift, not something we deserve or can earn.

So which is it? Is God's love a gift or earned.

What these verses indicate is faithful obedience - keeping His commandments, doing what Christ says is key and essential to our everyday experience of God - to His manifesting Himself to us and our having a sense of His ongoing, abiding presence. It is drawing near to God so we can experience His presence and Him drawing near to us.

But to do what he says does

not happen without our love for God "...if you love me keep my commandments..." i.e. do as I say...obey me.

John 14:21, 23 clearly tell us that in order to experience (not cause) his love we must do as he says - obey His commands (the greatest commandments being that we love God with all we are and have and our neighbor as our self).

The more we do so, the more we experience His love. The more we experience His love, the more we love him in return and do as He says. It is a kind of spiritual feedback loop if you will.

So which comes first...His love or our obedience?

We are told we love him only  because he 1st loved us. God is the primary cause of our relationship with Him and His love is the driving force in all our faithfulness/ obedience to Him. We must trust in this love to enter into and partake of it. But His love comes before trust. Trust is stirred up in us and driven by love i.e. by God Himself. 

Do you wish to be more faithful to God. Then start digging in to what God has revealed to you about himself in and through Christ. Ask Him to reveal Himself to you more in and through Christ. Faith comes by and through hearing the words of God's promises to us. 

Practically and from our side of the relationship we must faithfully pursue him to experience Him. Our faithfulness does not cause God to love us but it does align us with His heart, will, and desire - i.e. who He is - so we might better see and experience Him as the all loving God He is.

It's not unlike a husband and wife (or like any other significant relationship) who dearly love each other but for some reason are not able to talk and spend time together due to circumstances. They never stop caring and loving each other but when they get back together, communicate and demonstrate their love for each other they experience it anew again.

God is love and his love is secured for us by Christ efforts not ours. It never stops or changes regardless of what we do or don't do. But our experiencing that love to the fullest extent is contingent on our faithful pursuit of God i.e. obedience to Him.

While it is important to contemplate his love for us - and all Christ did to demonstrate it - we must act by faith upon that love to enter into and experience it more fully i.e. spend regular time with Him and show our affections for him by doing things for each other.