The Basis for morality.

Below is an excerpt from my book, 

“HOW WELL DO I KNOW GOD? Knowing God: The only Foundation and Fountain of Lasting Fulfillment.”

To see the part of the first section of the book, go to:

http://thotsaboutgod.blogspot.com/2010/02/how-well-do-i-know-god.html

If you wish to know more about the book email me at thotsaboutGod@gmail.com 

Now to the excerpt:

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d. God loves and values himself: the basis and moral ground for this. 

It seems self-evident that God loves Himself. But this raises the question of how is it that this act of self-love by God is not selfish? The answer I believe gets into the “holy of holies” of the very being of God and why we must not only worship Him, (honor and ascribe worth and value to Him) above all things but can do nothing else once we fully grasp even a little of God's dynamic nature. And the more we comprehend His vast and glorious nature, the more we will respond in adoration, awe, and love.

First, it only makes sense that whoever is the greatest, most valuable, and most lovely of all beings or things deserves and should elicit the highest affection, admiration, and praise of all other beings.

This certainly makes sense for us, but what about God? Wouldn't this be true also for God Himself? For God to value, love, and adore anything above Himself would be wrong, since He is the highest and most Supreme Being. It would also be hypocritical and insincere for God to honor/value/glorify another above Himself since He knows all things and all things come by, in, and through Him. There is no one greater than Him.

On the other hand, for us to value/honor ourselves above God is wrong simply because we are not the greatest, most valuable, and highest being. He is, if only because our very existence, as well as all creation, is dependent on God's existence and sustenance. Simply stated, God is supreme because the existence and well-being of everything else depends on Him. 

God loving and valuing Himself above all others is not only morally right, but necessary for everything else to function properly or exist at all. Therefore, God's loving Himself is the most loving thing He can do for all the rest of creation. His calling us to do the same is the most loving thing He can call us to. 

The New England theologian, Jonathan Edwards, says that God's recognition of His infinite worth as the Supreme being is not only good but is also rightfully due Him and therefore the very ground for all morality. To not give Him proper recognition of His worth is, therefore, also the basis for all immorality. 

The following excerpt from Jonathan Edwards’ book, *The End for Which God Created the World, addresses this very point. Edwards’ thoughts regarding this are quoted below without comment, so as not to influence your understanding and help you get the overall sense. 

I repeat the quote again with highlights and comments immediately after analyzing specific points. If you prefer not to read it twice, you can just read the edited version a little further down.

“God’s moral rectitude consists in his valuing the most valuable, namely, himself

That if God himself be, in any respect, properly capable of being his own end in the creation of the world, then it is reasonable to suppose that he had respect to himself, as his last and highest end, in this work; because he is worthy in himself to be so, being infinitely the greatest and best of beings. All things else with regard to worthiness, importance, and excellence, are perfectly as nothing in comparison of him. And therefore, if God has respect to things according to their nature and proportions, he must necessarily have the greatest respect to himself. It would be against the perfection of his nature, his wisdom, holiness, and perfect rectitude, whereby he is disposed to do everything that is fit to be done, to suppose otherwise.

At least, a great part of the moral rectitude of God, whereby he is disposed to everything that is fit, suitable, and amiable [i.e., pleasant, admirable] in itself, consists in his having the highest regard to that which is in itself highest and best. The moral rectitude of God must consist in a due respect to things that are objects of moral respect; that is, to intelligent beings capable of moral actions and relations. And therefore it must chiefly consist in giving due respect to that Being to whom most is due; for God is infinitely the most worthy of regard. The worthiness of others is as nothing to his; so that to him belongs all possible respect. To him belongs the whole of the respect that any intelligent being is capable of. To him belongs ALL the heart. Therefore, if moral rectitude of heart consist in paying the respect of the heart which is due, or which fitness and suitableness requires, fitness requires infinitely the greatest regard to be paid to God; and the denying of supreme regard here would be a conduct infinitely the most unfit. Hence it will follow, that the moral rectitude of the disposition, inclination, or affection of God CHIEFLY consists in a regard to HIMSELF, infinitely above his regard to all other beings; in other words, his holiness consists in this.”

There is far more that can be said about this excerpt than I have addressed below since I am focusing primarily on the moral aspect addressed by it, so I encourage you to meditate on it long and hard. It is rich with many truths on many levels that I will not be commenting on.

Now for a closer look at Edward's words.

The heading for this excerpt is as follows...

"God’s moral rectitude consists in his valuing the most valuable, namely, Himself."

If what this above section heading says is true, it stands to reason how much more this would be true of us as well as God. In short, for us to not give proper recognition of God's value is equally immoral. Though we often think of immoral actions primarily as those of a perverse sexual nature and though certain instances of sexual behavior are in fact immoral, immorality is far more extensive and in-depth than normally considered and is also not determined solely by external behavior. 

The above and following consideration of immorality explains why certain activities are immoral (sexual or otherwise), i.e. to place such high regard or value on anything over and above regard for God, no matter what form the action takes, is wrong and in fact a form of idolatry. If one values and worships the pleasure of sexual intimacy, making it the ultimate pursuit in life over and above intimacy with and pursuit of God, then it becomes an act of immorality as idolatry.

(Though this is far less likely within the marriage commitment, we can still pursue sex within marriage for the wrong reasons as well. If we see sex as a gift from God to celebrate the union and fidelity of a committed relationship, it reflects the union within God and the union we are to have with God and therefore brings joy to God and to us when celebrated in this fashion. The fact is, sex is designed to reflect something of the fidelity and intimacy between Christ and his bride, i.e. you and I, the church. That’s why adultery is repulsive to God and why throughout the Old and New Testaments, he calls his children who wander from Him, spiritual adulterers. They are breaking trust and the covenant relationship they made).

Stop and consider how you or I might be deeply offended at not being given our proper and due respect, appreciation, or recognition for some significant deed or accomplishment by us. When we are not given our due respect, whether it is being ignored and not acknowledged for a good deed or maybe by another receiving recognition and credit for our deed, how do we feel? Offended, upset, put off, overlooked, disrespected, (dissed), or misused? When this happens, we may feel sadness, disappointment, anger, even rage, or several other negative emotions. The bottom line is we were not given our due and rightful recognition. As the saying goes, “credit should be given where credit is due.” To say it simply, we were wronged. The proper recognition for the value of one's being and their contributions is the foundation for all moral behavior.

So how much more is God rightfully offended when He is not given His due recognition or respect? If everything is created and sustained solely by God alone, is not all honor and gratitude due Him? 

Do we live our lives as if this is true? If not, we are not giving God the recognition, credit, and gratitude due Him i.e. what He rightfully deserves. And if not, we have wronged and offended God.

Now is God offended because He needs our recognition and is more sensitive or more easily hurt than we are? Or is it rather as the sole Creator, Provider, and Sustainer of all things, His actions are of infinitely greater significance and consequence than ours and to not acknowledge them as such is an infinitely greater offense because it results in infinitely greater harm to us and others, his creatures? 

The truth is God does not need us or our thanks, as I suggested in the first section of this book. Not doing so does not make God any less than he is in any way. He is independent and perfectly self-sufficient, as discussed earlier. In reality, we are the ones most affected and harmed by not giving God His proper respect, as well as those we interact with.

In light of these questions, let us go back to Edwards for a closer look, highlighting keywords to add to this discussion:

“That if God himself be, in any respect, properly capable of being his own end (the reason/goal of all His deeds is to point out His ultimate worth) in the creation of the world, than it is reasonable to suppose that he had respect to himself, as his last and highest end, in this work (i.e. His creation); because he is worthy (most deserving) in himself to be so, being infinitely the greatest and best of beings. All things else (any other created thing or being) with regard to worthiness, importance, and excellence, are perfectly as nothing in comparison of him. And therefore, if God has respect to things according to their nature and proportions, he must necessarily (it is the moral or the right thing to do i.e. to do otherwise would be immoral and also against his very nature [and reality] as he goes on to say a little later) have the greatest respect to himself. It would be against the perfection of his nature, his wisdom, holiness, and perfect rectitude, whereby he is disposed to do everything that is fit to be done, to suppose otherwise.

At least, a great part of the moral rectitude of God, whereby he is disposed (properly inclined or drawn) to every thing that is fit, suitable, and amiable [i.e., pleasant, admirable] in itself, consists in his having the highest regard to that which is in itself highest and best. (i.e. Himself) The moral rectitude of God must consist in a due respect to things that are objects of moral respect; that is, to intelligent beings capable of moral actions and relations. (this especially includes us) And therefore it must chiefly consist in giving due (rightly deserved. Something due is something owed) respect to that Being to whom most is due; for God is infinitely the most worthy of regard. The worthiness of others is as nothing to his; so that to him belongs (it is rightfully His and therefore rightfully due to Him. To not give Him due regard/recognition is wrong and the ground for all immorality) all possible respect. To him belongs the whole of the respect that any intelligent being is capable of. To him belongs ALL the heart. Therefore, if moral rectitude of heart consist in paying the respect of the heart which is due, or which fitness (that which is appropriate and therefore right) and suitableness requires, fitness requires infinitely the greatest regard to be paid to God; and the denying of supreme regard (i.e. not praising God and giving thanks to God for who is and what He has done would be the greatest indication of this denial. See Rom 1) here would be a conduct infinitely the most unfit. (inappropriate and therefore wrong; immoral) Hence it will follow, that the moral rectitude of the disposition, inclination, or affection of God CHIEFLY consists in a regard to HIMSELF, (The most right/righteous, moral and holy thing God can do is to value Himself above everything else and seek to draw others to do the same. In turn this is the most righteous thing we also can do. And when we do we are acting like God. “…be holy as I am holy”) infinitely above his regard to all other beings; in other words, his holiness consists in this.”

In summary, according to Edwards, holiness for God consists of God’s affection for, regard for, inclination toward, and recognition of His infinite worth above everything else.

Throughout this quote, Edwards uses words such as “due, fit, belongs, requires” etc; all words that have a moral quality, i.e. that which is right or wrong. What this suggests is the grounds for all right and wrong are rooted in the recognition or lack of recognition of the true worth of God. And, this is not only true for us but for God as well, i.e. not only must we recognize the reality of God's infinite worth, but God by His own nature and determination must as well. All morality is grounded in the very nature and being of God, i.e. his infinite worth/glory.

We may have heard that the definition of holiness or sanctification is to be “set apart” or refers to something that is “set apart.” I would suggest the reason for this is because that which is of greatest value is separate from all other things, i.e. the reason something is set apart is precisely because of its great value. It would be like going to an art gallery where all the paintings are available for viewing by the general public except one room that holds the rarest and most valuable paintings. These are secured in a separate area with high-level surveillance that can only be entered with special clearance and a security guard. These pieces are distinct and separate from all the others and are to be looked upon with distinct and separate regard over and above all the others because of their great value. (Does the “holy of holies” come to mind?) 

In John Piper's footnotes to the above excerpt, he adds these thoughts, “Edwards calls God's regard to himself his ‘holiness.’ It may be more proper to call it God's ‘righteousness.’ Thus, his ‘holiness’ would be the infinite worth that God has in his own estimation, and his righteousness would be his valuing and respecting that worth without wavering and upholding it in all that he does.” He goes on to state that in the writings of the apostle Paul, “the righteousness of God must be his unswerving commitment always to preserve the honor of his name and to display his glory.”¹

Piper distinguishes between righteousness and holiness in that God’s holiness is the grounds for all righteousness, and righteousness is all acts that seek to uphold or display His holiness. Holiness addresses how or who God is, and righteousness addresses what God does. Piper is saying any act that springs forth from a proper recognition of God’s infinite worth is a righteous act. And therefore, any act that does not spring forth from a proper recognition of God’s infinite worth would be an unrighteous act, i.e. an immoral, or wicked act. 

This certainly broadens the definition of morality compared to how it is often defined today. It also places the focus on holiness where it should be. Not on the outward actions alone, but the inward disposition that drives those actions.

With God, all actions on His part must spring forth from the recognition of His own worth, with the end being to show forth his infinite worth (glory) to others. This is the basis of holiness and righteousness. And, out of this, He tells us to be holy as He is holy. What God is saying is simply do all things for the glory of God just like I do or be holy like I am holy, i.e. do all things to show forth my great worth, a worth which is greater - separate and distinct - above the worth of all other things or persons. In this lies the foundation for all moral behavior, according to Edwards. This also puts a whole different light for many on what it means to be holy.

According to this definition, we are holy when we value God’s worth as it truly is and therefore, all efforts to uphold and display his worth are righteous acts. The more we conduct ourselves in this way, the more righteous we (our actions) become. With this understanding, what makes something righteous has more to do with the motive behind the action than with the action itself. It stands to reason then that the opposite would also be true. To not value God’s worth would be unholy, and to not uphold that worth or display it by our actions would be unrighteous (wicked) acts. The more we do not do things in this way, the more unrighteous we are. Or, to say it another way, to disregard or ignore the value of God and not seek to show it (Him) forth in our attitude/disposition is the basis for all immoral behavior.

This is exactly why God says we are to be thankful for all things. It is the primary disposition that springs from the core recognition that God is the Sovereign Sustainer and provider of all things. He is the all-worthy, almighty God; everything we are and have comes from Him and we should thank Him accordingly. Immorality is not merely murder, an illicit or deviant sexual act, or other such external actions only. It goes far deeper than this. It goes to the heart out of which all actions spring forth.

Even our legal system historically recognized that motive is key and that life taken in self-defense versus premeditated murder is totally different. The end result may be the same for the victim, but since the motive is totally different, the degree of morality or immorality of the action (and its punishment) is as well.

If we stop and think about this and peel back the layers, we will realize that all actions that spring forth from a disregard for God’s true worth are indeed immoral. Often we only consider something immoral or unrighteous simply at the external level when, in fact, all immoral acts have their root in an inadequate recognition of God’s worth. I will go so far as to say that the impression we are often given (usually by the organized church and religion in general) that an immoral act is primarily of an external nature such as murder or illicit sex is nothing more than a diversionary tactic by the enemy to keep us from seeing that immorality is rooted in something far deeper, far more basic, more encompassing, more significant, more extensive and foundational than we ever usually consider.

There is a great advantage for us in having a clear understanding of this. To hold the typical external and shallow view of immorality allows us to go about life with little or no recognition of God’s great worth, while at the same time conducting ourselves in a way society, especially the religious community (but certainly not God) applauds as moral. As a result, we may go about thinking we are quite “good” or “righteous” because we don’t lie, commit murder, adultery, or theft when the bible instead calls anything that is not done for the glory of God, out of a desire to show forth His infinite worth, is wickedness.

The Bible characterizes evil when it says,

“My people have committed two evils: they have forsaken me, the fountain of living waters, and hewed out cisterns for themselves, broken cisterns that can hold no water” (Jer. 2:13)

What Jeremiah was saying is Israel had gone after things other than God to sustain themselves, to quench their spiritual, emotional, and physical thirst and needs. In effect, saying there is something other than God that we value and seek after more than God. This action, forsaking God and seeking things other than God to sustain them, springs out of an inadequate and, therefore, a wrong view of God’s true worth.

Society, even more so the church itself, is so obsessed with external expressions of “sin” that they completely miss what determines that which makes something “wicked” or “sinful.” Because of this, they will say obvious things such as murder or rape are wrong, while they may believe prayer is right and always good. Or worse yet, congratulate themselves for avoiding such “unrighteous” behavior. But didn’t Christ warn us not to pray like the Pharisees prayed? Why would He say such a thing? To those with a shallow understanding of immorality, this makes no sense. That is because they either get hung up or justify an act strictly by external behavior. But we get a further hint of what the Bible means by sin in Proverbs when it says, “the plowing of the wicked is sinful.” We might wonder how the simple act of plowing can be immoral. But our very wondering only confirms how little we understand the true nature of sin. It is sinful because it is an action done solely for the benefit of the one plowing and not to bring honor and glory to God, who enables us to plow. How do we know this? This is an underlying theme of scripture for one and the passage says it is the wicked that are doing the plowing. The plowing in itself is not necessarily good or bad. The reason/motive for their plowing is the issue.

Let’s see how the bible defines wickedness to get a better understanding. We get a clue in Genesis where the LORD states why He was planning on destroying mankind by a flood when he says,

“The LORD saw how great man's wickedness on the earth had become, and that every inclination of the thoughts of his heart was only evil all the time.” Genesis 6:5

This passage gives us a clue that sin is far more than simple external behavior; but is also a matter of the heart - from the Old Testament, no less. The external act is simply the outward manifestation of a heart opposed to God. Christ confirmed this when he criticized the self-righteous behavior of the religious of his day in the Beatitudes. He pointed out that it is not just the action that is wrong but the heart motive that produces the action that is the real concern when he said “you say if a man does… but I say if a man in his heart does…” Matt 5:21-28

Is that your understanding of wickedness? Would you ever say there is a time when praying is wicked? The Bible certainly does. This is not what many within the church would consider wickedness and the core problem, but Christ did.

This deeper understanding of morality is encouraging and discouraging at the same time. It encourages us who have been freed from the condemnation of sin through Christ, and have our hearts awakened by His Spirit who indwells us because God has opened our eyes to see God's true worth and beauty. By our experiencing his love personally, He awoke a love for Him we did not have before. We now have some awareness of the infinite worth and beauty of Almighty God. As a result, we have a hunger for Him. The more clearly we see Him in all His beauty, the more we long for Him. Now our focus is to feed, nurture, and strengthen that hunger and develop an even clearer and fuller view of God. As we get this clearer view of Him, our desire for him grows and our pursuit of him increases. This produces an outward change in behavior. The point is our focus shouldn’t be on the wrong actions we are so inclined to commit (though we must see them clearly to know what to forsake) but on finding and increasing our vision of the awesome wonder and beauty of God demonstrated to us in His infinite mercy and grace through Christ. As we see Him more and more clearly, the more in love with Him, we grow.

On the other hand, for the unbeliever, this understanding of morality is devastating because he is able, without God’s help, to carry out certain actions that are considered moral by society or even the church at large, but not by God Himself. In short, we may say and do all the “right” things, such as being a hard worker, give to others sacrificially, treat one's neighbor with kindness, or be faithful to one’s spouse, etc. All good things in themselves, but now that we understand the importance of intent, we must ask from where do these actions spring? Are they carried out to bring honor and recognition to one’s self or to God? 

If these actions do not spring forth from a heart of true worship of God, they are worthless in God’s eyes and are as “filthy rags” to Him, i.e. they will not be recognized or credited to us as righteous. In the unbeliever's unregenerate state, he seeks to impress God or others by his “good works” but this is not the same as desiring God or desiring to truly honor Him out of worship and gratitude by our actions. 

In truth, the things of God are foolishness to the unbeliever. Therefore, he must humble himself and turn in conscious dependence on God for His mercy and grace instead of thinking he can somehow impress God through dependence on his “righteous” deeds. He must instead call out to God for mercy to turn his heart toward Him. May God’s grace enable us to do so if we have not.

This understanding helps us to answer the question many ask. Why do bad things happen to good people? This is actually the wrong question. With the above understanding, we may need to redefine what is good as well as what a good person is. A truly good or holy person does all things for the glory of God, as they were created to, and not for their own glory. The truth is pain has to do with our operating contrary to our design, not with God directly punishing us for "bad" behavior. 

In conclusion, what does all this have to do with God’s loving himself and the moral ground for this? The fact that God is a triune being makes God valuing Himself above all others even more awe-inspiring and hallowed (holy) and settles many things. Let us briefly review this and we will elaborate on this point more as we continue on in the following sections.

God loves His Son above all else and the Son loves his Father above all else. In essence, they recognize the great worth of the other and value each other above all others. To say it another way, they hold each other in highest regard and esteem. We get glimpses of this throughout the New Testament, particularly the gospels. John 17 for example. Because they are separate and distinct persons, their love is real and true love. It is a love that is other-focused yet because they are both persons of the Godhead. This addresses God's self-sufficiency at the same time. So there is a sense in which God is truly totally giving and other-oriented on the one hand because of the distinctness of the persons of the Trinity and yet totally self-sufficient - self-contained if you will - and independent at the same time because He is ONE God, not three.

Oh, the mystery and wonder of God! May He help us to grasp the height, depth, and width of His being and, therefore, the greatness of His love. Not only is this a wonderful mystery, but it is also vital to understanding God truly and clearly and ourselves as well, who are in His image.

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Additional book excerpts: 

• Anatomy of pain
• God "needs" us
• Opening pages

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*This excerpt by Edwards is also reprinted in John Piper’s book, God’s Passion for His Glory. You can download a pdf of the book for free at 

https://www.desiringgod.org/books/gods-passion-for-his-glory

Sin is never good but God is always good.

1. Sin is never good. It's a violation of Gods design and always creates pain, suffering and hardship.

However God is always good and redeems all our messes, bringing about our good in and through all things.

2. God is always good and redeems all our messes, bringing about our good in and through all things.

However Sin is never good. It's a violation of Gods design and always creates pain suffering and hardship.

I mention two key principles in both statement 1 and 2 above. Note I simply reversed the order. Am I saying the same thing? Why did I say it this way?

I did this because it's easy to emphasis sin's destructive nature to such an extent that we loose sight of God's working in and through all things. We can take the view that we have messed up (or our lives are messed up) beyond God's ability to redeem it, wallowing in guilt, shame and self pity.

Or we can emphasize God's working to such an extent that we forget or downplay sins destructive nature. Some may try to argue if God is going to use our mistakes for our good anyway, let's make more mistakes. After all, you can't out sin the grace of God (the last sentence is true by the way).

Whenever we deal with truths in tension it's easy to fall to one side loosing sight of the other. Emphasizing each while not ignoring either is important because both are equally true.

Regarding the tension between sin's destructive nature and God's working in and through all things, it is vital that we understand on the one hand, that sin is not less of a problem and not less destructive simply because God redeems it for our good. Joseph wound up being rejected by his brothers and sold into slavery due to his arrogant boasting of his vision. Jacob walked with a limp for the rest of his life due to his wrestling with God. Sin (self centered, manipulative behavior) still has it's consequences.

While on the other hand, no matter how bad we mess up, God is always bringing about his perfect purposes through all the choices of those who love him. The good, bad and the ugly ones. 

God is a God of grace, using and working through all things to bring about our highest good and his greatest glory. The the eventual outcome of the life of Joseph again comes to mind. 

In fact the consequences themselves become the very means of God's using it for our good, so he might wean us from sin's destructiveness.

If you are more of a moralist you will likely fall on the side of emphasizing sin's destructive nature. As you come to understand the extent of God's grace you may tend to fall on the side of emphasizing God's working in and through all things for our good. Again, both are true, but not to the extend of excluding the other.  

Exceptions to the rule.

The exception to the above is sometimes God in his wisdom and mercy will at times spare us the full repercussions of our poor choices. While at other times in His wisdom he will allow the full weight of our poor choices to fall on us and bare their bitter fruit. It seems he tends to do the former when we are younger in the faith and the later as we mature, but there are always exceptions in both cases. Generally speaking it seems as we grow in our walk with the Lord, it often requires more, not less trust in God. Therefore our struggles seem to increase instead of diminish. Certainly an awareness of our weaknesses (our internal challenge) is keener, if not our actual circumstantial challenges.

Why God's children disagree.

I think this is also why there is often debate among Christian's on how God works. Because some experience God working more one way then the other, they tend to argue more from their experience without considering that God may not be working in someone else life exactly the same way. God works with all of us according to where we are in our own personal walk with him and the level of trust we have in Him at that particular time.

I think part of the disagreement between groups is due to our self centered nature. We tend to assume we are the center of the world and God works in the lives of others exactly the same way he does in ours. Because of this we tend to gravitate to others that have had similar experiences, discounting those who have had a different experience. It then becomes an us vs them mindset.

Why we disagree with ourselves

Also some are inclined to think that the joy that often accompanies a young Christians experience is the norm, so as they mature, they spend their life trying to recover that seemly careless bliss of their early walk with God and are puzzled when they find life seems to get more challenging not less. 

God in his wisdom works with each of us exactly as he deems best, according to where we each are. When Peter inquired about the status of another disciple, "Jesus said to him, 'If it is my will that he remain until I come, what is that to you? You follow me!' " John 21:22  And so there we too should leave it.

For a further discussion on guilt and shame click here. 

The internal dynamics of our dilemma and God's amazing solution/offer!

Our problem isn't knowing what we should do, it's doing what we know we should. 

As a result, we have two opposing dynamics going on inside each of us which creates deep-seated conflict with subtle but far-reaching implications and impact. 

Those dynamics are:

1. We have an intuitive understanding and awareness of what is right. The old saying and golden rule "do to others as you would have them do to you" or "love others as you want them to love you," comes to mind. Who doesn't agree with this? Virtually every religion and ethical system recognizes this as a important universal principle in one form or another. 

We also know intuitively this is right and true. It becomes most apparent when we are on the ¹receiving end of not being treated this way -- when we are not treated with dignity, value, respect...in a word, love -- we feel wronged/offended. 

YET

2. None of us has the internal strength (spiritually,  emotionally) to actually ²live this way -- to treat others as we wish to be treated. Sure, on occasion we might, but consistently and perfectly... no way. When it comes to taking care of ourselves or another we naturally (vs supernaturally) take care of ourselves 1st. Why? Because we must have love by design. Without love we are "takers" instead of "givers."

As a result of these two opposing dynamics within us all, and our failure to love others as we wish to be loved, we constantly go about things with this deep-seated, nagging sense of failure, guilt and shame (no matter how unconscious and deeply buried this may be). We constantly fail to live up to what we intuitively know is right and how we were designed, yet never carry out. 

We aren't living up to our own ¹internally embedded standard much less the ones others try to impose on us. 

As a result, we are always going about life with this internal conflict and tension of knowing who we should be and what we should do, yet never doing it consistently (though we mask our shame well and are rarely fully conscious of it). 

At a result of this conflict, deep down inside all of us is a nagging sense of worthlessness (though we are far from being worthless. For more on this click here). 

This often manifests itself in depression. We can never consistently feel good about ourselves - if we base our worth solely on our efforts - because we fail to ³be what we know, at a deep unconscious - or conscious - level, we should be. 

A sense of worthlessness is at the heart of all emotional pain. It is why we are in a perpetual state of pain. We were designed for glory, the opposite of worthlessness.

Seeking relief. 

No wonder we are always trying to do things to prove we aren't so bad (i.e. so self-centered) and seek to obtain anything that makes us feel better about ourselves, if only for a moment i.e. temporarily.

No wonder we are always seeking to be affirmed and recognized by others as important, special, worthwhile, etc. 

No wonder we are offended when people treat us as unimportant/ worthless and don't give us the affirmation we want and feel we deserve. 

We may not be fully aware of the conflict, but we are very aware of our constant need to feel better about ourselves. At a minimum, this is the conscious or "external" evidence of this deeply buried conflict.  

This conflict/tension is a constant part of our lives. We are always seeking affirmation in one form or another. We are always seeking to feel better about ourselves. We are always seeking peace, contentment, joy in one form, or another. Every sales offer assumes and appeals to this at some level. 

We are always seeking internal calm by trying to order our external world (circumstances) in such a way that we can experience this elusive sense of internal peace. Always!!!

What do we do? What can we do?! 

Well, we can distract ourselves (seek to control our environment), through a variety of means. Recreation, drugs, sex, meditation, entertainment, achievement, "beating the next guy," power, fame, money (which affords us many of the other things on the list) etc.

OR

We can try to psyche ourselves into thinking this sense of failure doesn't really exist but is due only to an overly active imagination/ conscience or is part of "cultural programming"; that morality is just a myth, and these feelings of guilt and shame are only in our heads. It's all subjective and not real i.e. right and wrong is not an objective reality.

So how's that working for us (you) so far? Have you found anything that gives this perfect (complete and constant) sense of total wholeness, peace, happiness, without having to constantly jump through hoops of one kind or another? Do you live consistently in a constant, ongoing state of peace and happiness etc. (Yet isn't this what we all want and seek?)

If not, why not? Is this even possible?! Yes, it is. There is an answer. And in truth, it's ultimately the only answer that works. 

And what is that? Glad you asked! 

We can accept God's solution.

First, we need to understand why this tension exists to begin with. We  are made to be loved and to love others. It's part of being like God...in his image. He gives and receives love between the Father, Son, and Spirit. A relationship of love is the core of God's very being. God IS love i.e. He is relationship. It's not just what he does, it is who he is.

We are like him and made for a relationship of love in order to partake of and experience God, who is the source of love, because he is a being of constant, never-ending, overflowing, bottomless love. 

Because of this, we will never feel truly whole unless and until we live in this love. It is who we are, how we are designed and why we exist. Knowing God and experiencing all that he is, is why we were created. The bible states this explicitly and if we stop to really consider this, on a deep level we know intuitively this matches our experience.

  

But this is not all there is to us. We have rejected (and still do) this true source of love. God himself. We choose to operate on our own, with little to no acknowledgment of our need for God (who is infinite, nonstop love) and now try to fill ourselves with substitutes... and think we can.  

But we can't! We are like a fish out of water flopping about, experiencing enough rainfall to keep us from drying up and dying, but nothing like we need to function at the level we were designed to operate.  We are designed to live and swim about in an endless sea of love i.e. with God. Not constantly gasping for breath.

How can a finite being (us) use finite created things to ever fill a need for something Infinite i.e. God himself? That's like putting a pint of fuel in a jet and expecting it to fly (we may be able to briefly fire up the engines at best).

But there is good news! 

God did this for us! Did what?! What does that mean? Christ, while on earth, loved perfectly and completely (because this is who he is and how he has always been throughout eternity past) to the point of dying. He actually gave himself up to be sacrificed.

He first loved His Father. And because he loved his Father he loved us. 

Why would he do that, and how did he? 

Two ways/reasons he showed his love for us. 

1. So that we, who can't live as we were created to, don't have to in order to have God's love. Now God offers us Christ's faithful life of love in exchange for our not living the life of love that we are created for. He did this as proof of his love for us. If we accept this, the Father credits Christ's life of love to us as if we lived this kind of life. (good bye guilt and shame over our failures to love as God deserves and others as we are designed to)

2. And not only does God offer to credit us with this perfect life but God put the consequences of our not living this kind of life; the life we were designed to live, onto Christ. (good bye judgment, condemnation and rejection)

For a further discussion of God's solution and its necessity click here.

Now, guess what? When we recognize we can never resolve the deep-seated conflict within or ever satisfy our deepest longing and then believe and accept his offer, it's done! There is no more guilt, no more shame, no more condemnation or rejection by God! It's gone!!! Hard to believe, but it's true. And that is now our only issue; do we believe this? The more we do, the freer we are. This is God's free offer to us if we accept it. Do you accept it?

We still blow it!

But don't we still blow it? Yes, we still do. We still don't love as we are designed to but God no longer looks at this as necessary for extending his complete, uninterrupted love to us. If we accept his offer He now sees and accepts Christ's perfect record as ours, credited to our "account" if you will.  

This would be like us having a seriously overdrawn bank account and then someone else with an account that has an unlimited balance assigns their account over to us.  It was earned by them, but out of their love for us and desire that we experience their wealth, they assigned it over and put our name on the account. Not only is everything in this other account now ours, but the funds from this new account were used to zero out our overdraw account and close it.  That old account is now gone along with all its debt. Everything in the assigned account is now ours. 

And not only so, but before God made this offer, we were still his enemies. How? We opposed God by trying to be our own god and fill our need for love with things other than God (and still do) which doesn't work i.e. it is not possible because it violates our design. We are designed for the infinite, not the finite-limited creation.  

It is also a lie because it says we can be who God designed us to be without Him. If we are designed for infinite love and God is that infinite love, this is not only impossible but it dishonors him for who he truly is... the only Source of true and infinite love and life.

Seeking to be for ourselves what only God can be for us caused a rift in our relationship with God. This blocked our experience of his love for us (not his actual love) so we no longer felt or experienced it. (If however, we receive his offer in Christ that barrier is removed and God's love is now freely available to us. To accept His offer is saying we can't be all we are designed to be apart from our Creator). 

Once we began to see this; once this really seeps into the core of our being, we fall in love with Him and Christ for doing this for us. The more we see how antagonistic we have been and are to God and all He has done to completely remedy this, the more we fall in love with Him. What an incredible gift this is! How can we ever thank God enough? 

Glad you asked. 

Now that we have been freed of the obligation to give God his due honor (since Christ satisfied this for us), we are free to live this life of love he's designed us for (which also "just happens" to bring us the greatest sense of meaning and purpose since this is why we were made to begin with). 

We now are loved in such a way that when we "get it" it draws out of us a desire to love back and a trust in following His direction (how can we not trust someone who would do all this for us). Now we have a reason to love as we were originally designed to. The love from someone else (i.e. God) we were designed to experience from the beginning has been restored back to us and is now fully ours, never to be taken away. We no longer live the life of love we were designed to live because we have to in order to be loved again. We now have that love we were originally designed to experience. It was secured by someone else's efforts, not ours. Therefore, it is completely ours and can never be cut off or blocked again. Now we love others out of love and gratitude for what God and Christ did for us and desire to share this with others. 

We also now want to show Him off (honor/glorify Him) to others because, for the first time, we now understand how amazing He is and now see He deserves our love and honor and that others also need this love/Him. We want to live for his honor and their good. And the way we do is to love him and others in the same way he loved us.

BUT, I can't relate to what you describe above. I am just not feeling it.

Now the truth is most don't experience this inner conflict I described in the beginning, on a conscious level and to the extent I have described it. However, what we all experience is a longing for love. This we are, more or less, far more conscious of then the inner conflict mentioned above. (In fact, most of us don't even experience how great this desire for love is until we "fall in love" for the first time and experience a longing we didn't know existed before then).

And if we have some success in finding love or if we have grown up in a nurturing environment due to stable and loving parents, we won't know much (or at least be aware of the depth) of this conflict. 

But we all know what it's like to lose love in some form or another. Separation from a dear friend, spouse, loving parent, or sibling due to a variety of reasons, such as relocation, death, estrangement, etc should hit home for most of us. And when we lose it, then we become aware of a longing for what was lost. The simple reality is none of us can live without love and a sense of value very long. 

All of this points to the nature of our make up and raises the question, where does this come from? How can we express a personal need for a loving relationship if we came about by accident from an impersonal universe? No matter how much we try to reason away this central part of our make up, there it is, staring us in the face when we least expect it. 

Do you wish to continue on this path of longing or do you wish to turn to the path you were created for? He extends the offer I have mentioned. Will you accept and receive it?

Further discussion on depression click here

Further discussion on our being finite click here

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Footnotes:

¹We cannot get away from this or set it aside. We bump up against this everyday in everything we do. We all intrinsically seek to be valued. In a word we are hard wired for love.

²We can't because we are "running on empty." We are void of the love we were designed to receive/experience/participate in and must have in order to love others sacrificially. It's just not in us to do so on our own. It has to come from somewhere outside of us; from another source; a Source we cut ourselves off from.

³doing as we are designed to do only comes out of being who we were designed to be...fully connected to the source of life and love, God himself.