Love and a future hope... something beyond feelings

The strongest relationships are those that transcend feelings and are based on the value we place on the other. This may or may not involves feelings for the other person, but not necessarily. 

We may not be getting anything from a particular relationship at any given moment that would stir our feelings -- though pleasant memories of positive treatment or experiences with them can evoke positive emotions. Our relationship may in fact cost us a great deal of time, effort and resources to remain in it, with no indication of immediate benefit or reward. We do it simply because we value them that much. 

A common example would be caring for a parent with Alzheimer's (or some other debilitating condition), who sacrificed for us growing up so we could have the best life possible. We act in love towards them even though it is completely one-sided, with no appreciation from them *at present. We do it simply because we appreciate them for all they did for us in the past.

*Not unlike our love for our kids is often one sided, with little appreciation by them for what we do for them at the time.

When someone has proven by past deeds they value us; past deeds so great that they impacted us for the rest of our lives, we are willing to act on their behalf regardless of any present gain (or loss). So much so, we would never question their love or their value of us, even though we see no evidence of their love at the time. We are willing to do things for them with no immediate advantage or benefit to us. In fact we are even willing to suffer loss. We see the past benefit from their support, and it's great enough that we feel we could never adequately "return the favor."

Now, what if this is a person we have not actually met but have only experienced the benefit of their actions from afar? Let's say we get a large sum of money from someone who found out we incurred a huge debt beyond our ability to pay it (incurred by our poor choices, no less).  A debt so great we couldn't pay it off in two lifetimes, much in this life. Add to this that the rest of our lives are ruined without help. When this person from afar found out, for some unexplicable reason they took care of our debt. 

Now, what if we are told (i.e., promised) by this same person (through letters), that they still have more to come that is beyond anything we could imagine, even greater than their past kind deeds. Would we choose to believe this promise of future reward based on their past act/proof alone, no matter how little evidence we have of their promise to love/value us at the moment?

What could drive us to believe this promise of future reward when we are not seeing or experiencing any evidence of their love in the moment? Only if what they did for us previously was of such immense value, it is enough to prove their love for us and value of us, whether they ever did anything else. In fact, their past care was so great, we are convinced (we believe) when promised, that most of what they will do is yet to come i.e. we believe this promise because of what they already did in the past. 

Acting for God's glory (i.e. out of a desire to display his great value) is not acting because we necessarily feel like it or because we see any immediate or significant benefit from it. It can be acting in gratitude for past actions that have infinitely benefited us, whether or not we see any future benefit. 

It can also be out of anticipation (hope) of experiencing the joy of being with this person who did these past great things, knowing they eagerly await being with us. In fact, that's why they did them, so we could one day be together. The joy of our anticipation is great because we value them and look forward to being with this person who did so much for us (even though we have never met each other). A future joy we are told, that is enhanced/ deepened by our faithfulness (obedience) to them in this present moment. 

We love God not only for past actions on our behalf, but also for the promise of future reward. A reward that is enhanced by faithfulness to them based on our trust in the love they showed us in the past. The reward of being with this one that values us so infinitely, they willingly experienced great loss and harm to themselves so they could be with us in the future and reunite us with their Father, who is the source of their love for us.

This is an anticipated benefit, not a present one. A gain assured to us by the promise of the giver and proven to us by their past acts of giving, not necessarily evidenced by the present experience of present gain/benefit. 

Who has loved us in this way, presently loves us and promises we are yet to see the full expression of that love in the future? Only one person, Jesus. 

When we have nothing else; no other proof of love other than these past actions and future promises, is this is enough? It is if and when we understand how greatly he values (love) us and how much he gave to prove it. Do you believe?

What about others who do not and can not love us in return? How do we treat them? 

We treat them with the same exact love Christ has shown us because he calls us to for his sake. He also promises he will honor us for our sacrificial love because we seek to honor him by loving as he loves. His love is sufficient to move us to love others even when their love in return (or lack of it) is not. 

So we love Christ for what he has done but also for what he will do (i.e. He promises He'll do in eternity). These alone are adequate to move us to faithfulness even if and when we see no immediate or present advantage in doing so.

Pleasing God

The master who said to his servants "...well done, good and faithful servant..." raises the question of when can we and do we please God and how. 

In one sense there is nothing we can do to make ourselves good (lovely/faithful) enough to be accepted by God. We simply are too broken (untrusting and suspicious of God) to ever live a life of complete, uninterrupted love and devotion to him unaided (i.e. on our own) that is equal to (does adequate justice to) who he is (all glorious and worthy of total honor) and what is properly due him (and which he also desires).

We can however - by the power and influence of God - out of his infinite love for us - made accessible by and through his unlimited grace - shed forth in our hearts by his Spirit - live for God's glory. In this way it is possible, and only in this way. This is in response to God and His perfect, infinite love, not the result of self generated effort i.e. willpower.

Are our wills involved? Absolutely! We have a choice and play a vital role in how we honor and please God. But it's a choice of believing (and receiving) or not believing the completeness and fullness of God's perfect love for us.

This is not a choice to will ourselves to "do or be better" e.g. "God, I am really sorry I blew it again. I am determined to do better next time. I'll prove it. Just watch and see." 

Wrong! There is nothing to prove. We all come up short. This is why Christ came!!! If we could honor God according to His glory, Christ's death would not have been necessary.

It is a choice of how much (to what extent) do we believe and receive his love for us. How much do we understand, recognize and accept that "¹it is finished" and there is nothing we will or ever can do to make it more so. It is a choice to receive and accept (bask in and even ²enjoy) his love - even when we blow it. 

And not only so, but the righteousness of Christ is also fully credited to us. If we are in Christ, the ³credit for His perfectly lived life of faithfulness is totally assigned to us - all of it! When God looks at the record of required and perfect faithfulness he sees the deeds of Christ listed as if they were ours. We are now looked upon by God as perfectly righteous/faithful/ moral.

As a result, God's love is now fully fixed (locked in) on us. He and it can never be removed (separated from us) or us from him (it).

Nor can his love be changed or added to, because of what Christ has already done for us. It is not based on what we do (or will do) for him i.e. it is not because we are deserving, but because Christ is. He earned this for us. 

Knowing this is vital to our being empowered to live for him because we can only truly love Him because he first loved us, never the other way around. Our love for (and faithfulness to) him is dependent on his love for us first and our believing and receiving (knowing) this total love. 

We are designed to be respondents to God's love, not initiators of love. God is his own cause (source) of love, we are not. How? Why? Because his love is rooted in the eternal and infinite relationship of love between the Father, Son, and Spirit. In short, we need him, he doesn't need us. 

It is vital we grasp the extent and fullness of God's love in order to be moved to love and desire (have affection for) him in return, over all other desires. The greater and fuller our understanding of this infinite love, the greater and fuller our response and the more honor and glory we bring to him.

And when we do respond (act) in this way, he is well pleased. And he is pleased not only because it brings him great honor (it puts him on greater display so others will be drawn to him) but also because it brings us great joy i.e. he is happy for us because he longs for our best i.e. he loves us. 

Matt 25:14-30

21 His master said to him, ‘Well done, good and faithful servant. You have been faithful over a little; I will set you over much. Enter into the joy of your master.’

• For a further discussion on the difference between willpower and affections click here. 

• For a discussion on the difference between God's objective and subjective love and presence click here

• For a discussion on experiencing and participating in God's love click here.

• For a discussion on his love being based solely on grace click 

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Footnotes:

¹"it" being the payment for and removal of all condemnation for our rebellious distrust; which is the essence of all sinful behavior.

²We enjoy the love itself. Of course, we don't enjoy grieving the one who so faithfully loves us (Jesus). However, when we understand nothing stops his love, not even our unfaithfulness, it moves us in greater love and a stronger desire to not grieve him (he is grieved for our sake, not his own). 

Our unfaithfulness only quenches a fuller experience of this unending love, not the love itself. It effects and diminishes us, not God. He remains the same. 

³Isn't it ironic of how offended we get when others receive credit for what we did?

Self-worth or God's worth?

To ¹value ourselves is better than not valuing ourselves.

Studies have clearly shown we cannot function at our highest potential if we do not see ourselves as having value and bringing value to others.

However to be valued by God is not only better, but what we are designed for. Therefore it is best and what actually works long term.

When we understand and recognize God's value of us, we are able to function as designed, regardless of if or when others value us. Unlike the approval we receive from other finite creatures, God's value of us is infinite (because He is Infinite) and certain (because it is not secured by our performance, but Christ's). The value others have for us and the value we have for ourselves is not; it is fickle and inconsistent at best and therefore inadequate. Long term it is insufficient i.e. it simply doesn't work.

It is fickle and inconsistent because humanity is fickle and inconsistent; both ourselves and others. An infinite need cannot be satisfied by a finite source (us or other created beings).

We were designed to experience infinite value and be the means of bringing God's infinite value to others.

We can only be solid, stable and consistent when and to the extent that we are anchored in God and his value of us -- who alone is solid, stable, and consistent i.e. perfect.

When we are solid, it is only because we are anchored in him, who is solid, stable, and consistent.

The irony is we don't experience our greatest sense of value by focusing on it, ("...self, repeat after me, I am valuable, loved, important" etc. This is not some mantra we must continually tell ourselves) but when we focus on the most valuable i.e. God (only he is infinitely worthy, lovely. most important and deserving of our constant focus and praise etc.)

Why is this? As his image bearers, we were designed to engage and participate in the worth/glory/love of God. We experience our greatest value/meaning/glory/love only when we participate in the most valuable/meaningful/ glorious/loving...God. Anything less does not match up with who we are and were designed to be i.e. it simply does not work.

"The glory of God is man fully alive."- Irenaeus i.e. our experiencing God in all his glory is when we are most alive. When we are most alive in him, we also bring him the greatest Glory.

"Whoever seeks to preserve his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life will keep it." Jesus, Lk 17:33

"For whoever would save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for my sake (i.e. to honor me) will find it." Jesus in Mat 16:24-26   

We will only truly find our lives when we lose our lives...in him i.e., when we stop seeking to find life outside of God, is when we find real, lasting and true life in God i.e. when we experience God Himself. 

For a discussion of our worth in relation to sin click here
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¹I am using value as synonymous with being infinitely loved, worthy, important, significant etc.

the appeal of humility

Why is it that when we see humility in others we find it so appealing? 

No one likes someone who is arrogant and thinks they are "all that." Everyone likes someone who is humble. 

The reason? 

Humble people treat others (us) with dignity and arrogant people do not. 

A truly (*genuinely) humble person is other (you and I) oriented not self-oriented. 

We like it when others treat us as significant/important and don't when they think they are the only one in the room who is.  Nothing is more boring then someone always thinking or talking about themselves.

In truth, we are all significant in the eyes of God. For someone to act as if they alone are significant is not only unappealing (and even repulsive), it's simply not true. 

The bottom line is when someone is all about self, they have no time for others (including you) unless it is to use you or others to advance themselves in some way. We find these kinds of people boring at best and often obnoxious. 

On the other hand, we are drawn to truly humble people. We like them. We like it (even admire it) when someone recognizes they are who they are because of others and are focused on recognizing and/or helping others. True humility is always **other-oriented and always refreshing. 

As Tim Keller likes to say, "humility isn't thinking less of yourself, it's thinking of yourself less"

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*...there is also a false humility which no one likes. False humility is not humility at all but actually self-pity which is also about self only masked as humility. 

**Given this understanding tells us something very significant about God, doesn't it? Ironic when you consider most interpret God's call to recognize his glory as only being self-focused, when in fact God knows the best thing for us, is our recognizing his glory. 

Do you have real life?

To make life all about us assumes there's nothing greater or more important than us. 

But what if there is? What if true life itself is a gift that comes outside of us and all the things we see and experience around us? What if our longing for life is due to the absence of connection to its true source? Wouldn't we be wise to explore this and shortchange ourselves to ignore this possible source?

Some may object and say they have life already. A great one in fact! But how do we know? What if your life could be hundreds, maybe thousands of times richer and fuller...not necessarily circumstantially but in depth of meaning and purpose (most don't even know why they exist, i.e. what their purpose is. Even when they think they find it, something is still lacking). 

Think of those moments (assuming you have had some) when you had the greatest joy, peace, and happiness. What if your life could be like that all the time, without interruption, regardless of your circumstances, and to a much greater degree... even beyond your comprehension? 

Now, what if you could experience this not just for fleeting moments but constantly and with ever-increasing intensity forever, beyond this present existence? Wouldn't that be better than the life you now have with the constant longing for something more, with little or no future hope? Isn't this worth exploring and pursuing?

All the things we find lovely, attractive, beautiful, enjoyable, and breathtaking now is not an illusion or delusion. We experience and are drawn to beauty for a reason. We experience this because we were designed for this; to engage in and enjoy ultimate beauty; the source of beauty itself. 

And we will do so even far more in the next life. It is there we will experience all things in all their complete, original, uncorrupted,  unfettered fullness and glory, with the perfect ability to do so.

Creation will be clearly seen as it truly is. Not as the source of life, but as the overflowing gift(s) of the infinitely beautiful, creative, glorious, and loving God; the source/creator of all things, resulting in our hearts overflowing and spontaneously singing His praises, not to creation but to him for all things he has made and given for our joy and His glory.

Now, what if this life I have described, was offered to you as a gift and not something you would need to gain through your own efforts or could, even if you wanted to or tried. Wouldn't you want to know about it?

This is what is offered to you in Christ.

"...but whoever drinks of the water that I (Jesus) will give him will never be thirsty again. The water that I will give him will become in him a spring of water welling up to eternal life." - Jesus Joh 4:14

"But, as it is written, 'What no eye has seen, nor ear heard, nor the heart of man imagined, what God has prepared for those who love him' ”— 1 Cor 2:9

Do you love God i.e. value him above all other persons or things? If you do not, you have not experienced his love for you yet. To experience his love truly is to love God truly. We can do nothing less once we have.

Do you wish to take part? He invites you to come. 

"The Spirit and the Bride say, "Come." And let the one who hears say, "Come." And let the one who is thirsty come; let the one who desires take the water of life without price (you can't earn or buy it)." - The last book in the Bible and closing invitation of John the apostle regarding the revelation of Jesus Christ. Rev 22:17 

Hard wired for greatness

Reducing people to something ¹less than human — such as holding someone as a political or emotional prisoner — isn't tolerated long by those being abused - particularly if they have a strong belief in their own worth/dignity. 

Why? Since we are image-bearers of the One who is of infinite worth, we can not remain long in a state of being treated as worthless i.e. treated without dignity (unless we have lost complete hope of finding relief). We will seek a way, one way or another, to fill the void and pain of being treated as worthless to relieve that pain -  or die trying. If we ever lose complete hope of obtaining a sense of worth/ meaning/purpose, we will seek to end our lives. 

We applaud the human spirit. We love it when someone, against all odds, refuses to give in to the struggles and setbacks of life and fights back against being treated as less then they are. Instead of giving up, they battle back against opposition, defeat, and pain to eventually rise and ²overcome being mistreated. The greater the struggle, the more we cheer when they overcome it. The sweetest victory is the one that occurs when it seems least likely to happen. This resonates with all of us. We love the underdog who wins! 

This is why the greatest stories and movies echo this theme. We love an epic battle of ³good vs evil in movies like Star Wars (box office sales prove the universal appeal) or any movie that depicts an underdog overcoming overwhelming adversity such as "Rudy", "Hoosiers" or "Shawn Shank Redemption." We love it when these underdogs are in the battle of their life and desperately losing (or considered "losers") then, against all odds, they come back and win. 

Super Bowl LI with the history-making come back of Tom Brady and the Patriots is a classic example. Even if you don't like the Patriots, you still may applaud, quietly respect and maybe even admire their "never quit" approach to the game. At a minimum, you will at least wish your team had the same focus and determination.

Why does this connect so deeply within us all? Why do we cheer the Rocky's of the world so enthusiastically?  

We desire greatness and we cheer those on who achieve it. We are all wired for infinite worth, importance, greatness. To engage it, experience it, and live it! It is who we are meant to be. 

We all look and hope for something more. Even to the point, we live it out vicariously through various celebrity types. We worship "successful" people because it makes us feel important. "Check it out! I know this or that about so and so (sharing something about some well know celebrity)!! Wooowhoooo!!"" 

If we ever lose hope of obtaining some sense of value/importance/worth, we give up and die. We simply must have it.

But why is this? Why is there such universal appeal? 

We are all hard-wired for greatness because we are hard-wired to engage, participate in, and experience GOD who is greatest! 

We are all wired for GOD. And not just any god but the only true God who created and sustains everything; who is of infinite worth, greatness, love, and beauty. A God we were designed to fully engage, experience, and enjoy. 

Because we were wired to engage and experience greatness i.e. God himself - we long for it (greatness) because he is greatest. 

However, we settle for far less. We settle for the finite when we are designed for the Infinite i.e. we pursue the things of creation instead of the Creator. We go about life content - but only short-term; moment to moment, like a bee constantly seeking pollen when we experience the slightest little thing that affirms us. 

Only the Infinite, Almighty, All-Glorious, Majestic, Loving, and Beautiful God can fulfill us! Ultimately, nothing else will do.

For a further discussion on our being created for glory click here.

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Footnotes:

 ¹ We are of great value as God's image-bearers (and therefore need to experience/feel and participate in great value)

² This is why death is so gut-wrenching and puzzling.  Even though many rationalize it away and say it's an inevitable part of life, in our gut we know something is wrong and not as things were meant to be. Death just feels wrong. We have an innate sense, life should never end (and we only give up on living when we can no longer acquire or enjoy the things of life as easily as we grow older or for some other reasons are unable to enjoy the fruits of this life). Even though death is a common part of our existence,  instinctively, deep down, we know death is not a normal part of life but a terrible aberration.  

This is also why resurrection...life overcoming death, is such an exciting and appealing message/reality. This is why the resurrection of Christ was and is so vital. Because he overcame the greatest possible adversity - adversity that killed him - we have hope we too can overcome it in and through Him. 

³ Note what characterizes good vs evil is rooted in being treated or not treated with value; being loved as we wish to be loved, treated as we wish to be treated. Where does this desire come from? It goes directly to the infinite worth of God himself. To explore this more click here. 

Offenders and offended

God abhors evil (wrongdoing) because he loves those it harms. He hates precisely because He loves first. 

This same love moves God to be patient with us in our wrongdoing and the harm we cause others - i.e. He is longsuffering. He does not delight in our harm or perishing no more then he delights in our harming and sometimes even destroying others. He equally values all who are created in his image.

So it appears God has a dilemma. He loves both the offender and the offended.

How did God resolve this?

Because of our brokenness, spiritual bankruptcy and inability to operate as He desires - i.e. to love others as we were designed to - and because of his infinite love for us and complete hatred for the wrongdoing that entangles and destroys us all - he provided the solution himself. God sent ¹someone else -- who came willingly out of love for him and love for us -- to remedy this dilemma by having this other person (willingly) suffer the consequences of our ²rebellion, in our place, as well as assigning his perfect faithfulness and trust of the Father (i.e. his righteousness) to us in place of our unrighteousness. 

He did this so both those who harm (offend) and those who are harmed (offended) might not have to reap long-term destruction for the harm caused by or to others - i.e. so they wouldn't be liable for their indebtedness to restore the loss or harm they caused others... someone else paid it for them.

We are all offenders and offended.

To provide a solution Christ, who did no wrong and did not deserve the consequences of wrongdoing, took all of this and deliberately put it on himself instead of onto us, who do deserve the consequences. He sent Jesus (who willingly came), the eternal, faultless Son of God. He now invites you to accept his gift and experience the fullness of his love that moved him to offer it.

This is why it's called amazing grace!!

Psa_85:10  Steadfast love and faithfulness meet; righteousness and peace kiss each other.

Isa 53:3  He was despised and rejected by men; a man of sorrows, and acquainted with grief; and as one from whom men hide their faces he was despised, and we esteemed him not. 4  Surely he has borne our griefs and carried our sorrows; yet we esteemed him stricken, smitten by God, and afflicted.

5  But he was wounded for our transgressions; he was crushed for our iniquities; upon him was the chastisement that brought us peace, and with his stripes we are healed. 6  All we like sheep have gone astray; we have turned--every one--to his own way; and the LORD has laid on him the iniquity of us all.

*Evil - רַע   (pronounced ra) (948c) in the Old Testament Hebrew; from the same as H7455; evil, distress, misery, injury, calamity: 

— adversity (7), calamity (4), disaster (2), evil (94), harm (2), harmful (1), hurt (1),ruin (3), surely (1), trouble (2), unpleasant (1), wickedly (1), wickedness (1).

For a further discussion regarding evil click here.  

For a further discussion on "playing" the victim click here

For a further discussion on being a victim vs an offender click here

For a further discussion of the nature of our rebellion click here

For a further discussion on what drives good behavior click here and here 

For a discussion on how to overcome our brokenness click here 

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¹Someone who did no true harm or offense -- except calling out others (i.e. self-righteous religious "leaders") on their arrogance...which of course they found offensive. 

In order for someone else to credit us with righteousness (God-honoring living) and bear the consequences of our unrighteousness (rebellious unbelief leading to God-dishonoring living), they could have none of their own unrighteousness (rebellious unbelief) and had to live fully for the glory of God (be righteous). The only sacrifice that could meet this was a "lamb without spot and blemish" (no flaws, sins i.e. no unfaithfulness in living for God's honor but total faithfulness. Someone who loved God with all their heart, soul, mind, and strength and their neighbor as themselves to the point of giving up their very own life for the benefit of another, not their own benefit. Who would do this?!). The only person to do this was the eternal Son of God and Son of man, Jesus Christ. 

²Why don't I say "mistreatment of others" instead of "rebellion" here?  Because our mistreatment of others is rooted in our rebellious distrust of God i.e. our unbelief that we were created and called to love God and our neighbor. Mistreatment of our neighbor is rooted in our unbelief and rejection of God.