Pleasing God vs loved by him

Being loved by God is a fixed reality for those who are ¹in Christ. Why? Because his love for us is based on ¹Christ's perfect performance on our behalf and not ours. 

To say it another way, we don't have to be perfect in order to be fully loved because legally we are perfect in Christ i.e. the perfect life of Christ is ²credited to us (as if we lived it) and the full consequence for our rebellious unbelief was poured out on Christ (as if we did it). There is nothing to do by us or even God himself to make us anymore perfect - legally before God - than we already are right now ¹in Christ. To use Christ's own words, "...it is finished..." 

As a result there is nothing we can or should do to make ourselves more or less acceptable and loved by God than we already are right now in Christ. We are perfect and beloved of God. Nothing can cause God to love us more fully than he already does. Nothing! So stop trying!

However pleasing God - bringing joy to his heart - is based on our faithful pursuit of him; our diligent obedience to him i.e. our action/conduct or "performance" if you will. This conduct has to do with our ³relationship with God, the other is a matter of our status or legal standing before God. These are entirely different and separate, while connected at the same time.

The former (being loved by God) answers the following: 

"Am I an infinitely and beloved child of God?" 

The bible gives us a resounding YES!!

"Is there anything ³I must do to insure I am (and continue to be) an infinitely beloved child of God?" 

The answer is an equally resounding NO!!

Nothing I do will cause, insure or hinder God's love for me. That was why Christ came. He took care of all of this for me (because I couldn't). 

Our judgment is satisfied by Christ; our condemnation is gone because of Christ. Our standing as a beloved child of God is secured in Christ. God's love for us is absolute, infinite, and unrelenting because of Christ. 

As Christ declared in a very loud voice on the cross, "It is finished!" then he ⁴gave up his spirit. 

Pleasing God

The later (pleasing God) addresses a very different question. Which is, "am I a child that honors my infinitely loving Father to the utmost by my words and actions" Notice this question addresses our side of things, not God's side. His side is already fully taken care of because of Christ's efforts on our behalf. 

Do I please him? It depends on whether I am living for him and loving him with all my heart soul, mind and strength. This is a matter of my relationship with God evidenced by my trust in him and my ensuing faithfulness to him. Do I fully trust the fixed and settled love he already has for me and act accordingly i.e. by my response of faithfully pursuing Him out of love? True pursuit of God is a response of love for and complete trust in what God has done for us in Christ. Pleasing God is built on the rock solid realty of God's infinite love perfectly secured for us in Christ.

When we truly "get" the fullness of his love, it changes us. 

An Illustration

Just like any ⁵parent is most pleased when their kids heed their loving directions, so it is with God. And just as a loving parent will never love their child any more than they already do, so it is with God i.e. once we are a child (born into the family) we will always be their child i.e. loved and cherished by our parents. 

However truly loving parents also find great delight in their child when they faithfully pursue the parents wishes. In fact the more they love us the more delighted they are when we heed their wise and loving directions, because the more we trust and obey (as their child) the more we experience (enter into) the fullness of life they extent to us, desire for us (they desire this because of their great love for us) and that we were created for i.e. the more we flourish and blossom into who we were designed to be. What loving parent doesn't want their kid to know the fullness of their love and experience all the benefits and joy that comes with it i.e. experience the most and best they were created to experience?

Do we obey our parents because they need our trust and obedience. Not in the sense it adds anything to them as persons. But as loving parents they do want ("need") to know their kids are doing well and desire with all their hearts the absolute best for their child. 

Now, for sake of illustration, let's say our parents are infinitely wise and know exactly what that best is (if they are truly wise and loving they will know better than we do at a minimum), than we know (trust) heeding their directions is in our best interest and it will not be hard to do so. The parents already know this, we however must learn this.

And when a child heeds well his parents instructions, how do parents respond? Not only are they delighted but they increasingly entrust that child with more because they long for their child to know an even greater fullness of their love e.g. they will let the kid use the car because they know the kid will take care of it and not misuse it or intentionally damage it. As the child shows greater trust in the parents, the parents have greater trust in the child. As the child proves themselves more trustworthy, they are entrusted with even more. The relationship grows and strengthens i.e. the love and trust on which all relationships are built, increases.

Of course we all know there are ⁴no perfect parents, at least not on earth. But human parents that love God are a type of our heavenly Father who is the perfect parent in every way because he alone is fully capable in every way (all wise, loving and powerful). And God as our perfect parent delights in knowing we are experiencing the best he has and there is for us. And he knows the best means of growing our trust in him and obedience to him; (doing as he says) because he knows what that best is better than anyone, including ourselves. 

In summary:

Does our faithful pursuit of God matter? No and yes. 

As far as our being his beloved child - who is right (in right standing, justified) with God and the certainty of his love being secured (he will never leave us) and set on us - our pursuit makes absolutely zero difference. Somebody else had to (and was the only one who could) take care of this side of things and did i.e. Christ himself. 

As far as our experiencing all the warmth and benefits of that love fully secured for us and the closeness of relationship (fellowship) with him and bringing him joy and delight, it makes all the difference in the world, as with any love relationship. 

And when we stray it hurts God, not because he needs us but because he wants us to know the fullness of that love - perfectly secured for us by Christ (which the Father and Son paid such a high price for) and that joy that is their for us in him - to the fullest extent possible. This is why Christ came and did what he did. 

As evidence of their love the Father and the Son went to great lengths to insure all of this for our joy and his glory. 

Heb 11:6  And without faith it is impossible to please him, for whoever would draw near to God must believe that he exists and that he rewards those who seek him. 

 

But without faith it is impossible to please Him at all. For he who comes to God must (out of necessity in the nature of the case) believe that He exists, and that He becomes a rewarder of those who diligently seek Him out. (Wuest translation).

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Footnotes:

¹This is what is meant by the frequent expression "in Christ" used over 90 times in the NT. 

²The primary reason Christ came, lived among us, died and returned to the Father was so He might restore us to the Father that we might have life again. The life we were created for but abandoned in the Garden.

³It should be pointed out that if we are now truly a redeemed child of God, we will be a new creature. Everything will be different. We will have new desires, a new outlook on life and ourselves. A clearer vision of God and his love for us resulting in a love for God that changes us and how we live. If there is no such change, the bible cautions us to "make our calling and election sure" i.e. do a spiritual self assessment and be sure these qualities are true of you and in you and increasing. If they are not we have no reason to believe we are his child. In fact we are cautioned that we may not be. 

While our living for God does not cause, insure or secure God's love for us, it is clear evidence that we know (receive/accept) his love for us i.e. that we have experienced it in such a way that we are no longer the person we were before knowing his love. When we know we are loved we will respond in faithfulness. This is not something we have to do in order to be saved, it is something we do because we are saved. If we don't live faithfully for God, this is an indication we my not have experienced his love. This is a key message of James and also in I John. 

Being his child however doesn't mean we are perfect. We all blow it, and often. But once we are a child of God, blowing it matters; it effects others and us; it impacts our relationship with God, whereas before it didn't matter at all. Our caring about blowing it, is evidence we know God and value our relationship with him. 

But the most important point is it robs God of the joy and delight of seeing us participate in the fullness of his love and our experiencing the joy of seeing his kingdom (rule and reign of love) advanced through us to others. 

⁴Note it says he gave up the spirit, it was not taken from him. This was a deliberate and planned out action from all eternity past in which he was in complete control of. No one actually took his life, he willingly gave it up once He had completed what he came to do. Amazing grace!!!

⁵What about those who didn't have such perfect parents growing up?... 

You have one now. 

When my father and my mother forsake me, then the LORD will take me up. Psalm 27:10 (KJV) 

(CEV)  Even if my father and mother should desert me, you will take care of me.
(ERV)  Even if my mother and father leave me, the LORD will take me in.
(ESV)  For my father and my mother have forsaken me, but the LORD will take me in.
(GNB)  My father and mother may abandon me, but the LORD will take care of me.