increasing our desire for God

When our passion for God is greater than our desire for other things, the appeal of other things, fades. This enables us to turn away and not seek them as our chief thing - i.e. as our God.

But how do we increase our desire for God? We must start with faith. 

Other things are usually more alluring and give greater immediate gratification than pursuing God. However, when we ¹believe God is superior - even if He doesn't feel like it in the moment - this strengthens our desire for Him i.e. our desires and actions fall in line when we pursue God by faith. Stepping out in faith on the ²promise of partaking in more of His love, beauty, wisdom, integrity, power, etc increases our passion for God, reducing the need to experience these before we step out. We are told on five different occasions "the just shall live by faith" for good reason.

But to do so takes ³incredible faith. To take up our cross and deny ourselves is difficult because it is contrary to our natural feelings and desires. We are asked to walk away from anything we normally derive a sense of pleasure, meaning, purpose and love from in the belief that God is greater. A Cross is painful. It feels more like death than life. 

And it is. It is death to self-gratification and self-salvation. But this is where God best meets us, and we experience His power most. As Paul stated, when he is weak - in his natural strength - he is strong in His dependence on God and his actions for Him. We can deny ourselves something we desire more at the moment, if and when we believe God is ultimately a superior pursuit - even though the allure of something else feels greater and God may not feel superior at that moment.

In short, if our faith is ³great enough, it will carry us forward in obedience, stirring in us a desire for more of God. If we are having difficulty in obeying God, we don't redouble our efforts, we must feed and strengthen our faith. 

Recap and summary

We can deny ourselves something we desire more than God when we believe He is a superior pursuit - even though the allure of something else feels greater and God may not feel superior. When we believe God is superior - even if He doesn't feel like it at the moment - it increases our desire for Him - i.e. our desires fall in line with our actions of pursuing God by faith. Stepping out in faith on the integrity of His character, love, power, wisdom, beauty for us, etc. versus our feelings often results in a greater passion/feelings for God. 

However, taking up our cross and denying ourselves is not an enjoyable feeling. A cross is painful. It feels more like death than life. But it is also where God meets us and we experience His power. As Paul stated when he is weak - in self-reliance - he is strong in his dependence on God.

A recap.

So the question becomes, how do we increase our faith? We are told faith comes by hearing. Hearing what? The word(s) - ²promises - of God. Promises of what? About ⁴who God is; that God is for us, not against us and loves us with infinite boundless love. The greatest evidence of this is what Christ did to restore us back to His Father. If God gave us that which we needed most - removal of our condemnation and shame so we would be restored back into good standing and relationship with the infinitely loving and beautiful God - how much more is He willing to give us everything else necessary to know Him more? We must remind ourselves of all that God has done for us to strengthen our trust in the promises of what He has yet to do for us. 

For a discussion on how God addresses our two greatest needs through Christ, click here.

For a further discussion on self-denial, click here. 
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¹There are various kinds or levels of belief. I am not talking about belief-faith on a casual level but at the level we would stake our very lives on. That is the belief God calls us to. 

A story to illustrate. 

Jason was laid off from work unexpectedly. After a few weeks, as hard as he tried, he couldn't find anything. So he ran an idea by Chad while working out one day - they were formally on the same high school gymnast team and regularly worked out together.  

Jason said, "since I have always been athletic with a great sense of balance, and also want to launch out with a business of my own, I was thinking I could walk across the small canyon on a tight rope pushing a wheelbarrow. You know the one just outside of town. I'll use the publicity to launch myself as a personal trainer and build a clientele. What do you think? Do you think I can pull it off?" 

Chad said, "You were the state champion, so if anyone can do it, you can Jason. I think you should go for it. " 

So Jason began training. Chad had some media experience and contacts, so he offered to reach out to his contacts to promote the event. Chad believed in Jason that much, and Jason trusted Chad would do an outstanding job. 

As things progressed, Jason would periodically ask Chad, "do you really think I can pull this off?" Chad always replied, "Absolutely. If anyone could do it, it's you." Being encouraged by Chad's support, he continued.

Finally, several weeks later, the day of the big event had come. As they set everything up, the crowd and the local media started showing up to capture it all. They estimated there were at least 1000 people there. 

Jason and Chad were excited but nervous. As Jason positioned himself on the rope with the wheelbarrow, he looked over at Chad one last time and asked, "do you really think I can do this?" Without hesitation, Chad said,"absolutely," to which Jason replied, "Great, get in the wheelbarrow." 

There is a difference between saying we believe God and getting in the wheelbarrow. When God asks us to trust Him, He's saying get in the wheelbarrow. 

²And without faith it is impossible to please him, for whoever would draw near to God must believe that he exists and that he rewards those who seek him. Heb 11:6 

What is the nature of our reward? It is experiencing more of God who is the source of life, love, and all things. For more on this click here.

³And incredible faith occurs when we see more and more of how huge, loving, wise, etc. God is. If you have small faith, it is only because your understanding of God is small. Ask Him to reveal Himself to you more so your faith becomes greater. 

⁴This is why it's vital we go to God and his promises regularly. Call it quiet time, or a time of worship or devotion. What it's called doesn't matter; what occurs during that time does. 

This is also why meeting together with fellow believers is vital. It stirs our faith and helps us see God in action in the lives of others. All these things remind us of God's faithfulness and stir us to greater faith.

The gain of self-denial

We are called to deny ourselves, (e.g. fast) to help make us more aware of our dependence on God - who is true life - instead of the pleasures of creation.

When we least want to deny ourselves may likely be when we most need to.

If we regularly choose to act in ways that require us to focus on our dependence on God instead of the pleasures of this life we are deliberately humbling ourselves. 

We are not only called to humble ourselves but this also leads to our ultimate joy and gain. 

Denying ourselves the pleasures of this life (*for a season) leads us to find greater pleasures in God; feasting on God himself leading to increased gratitude for his good gifts. But not only pleasures in God now but in the next life as well. In fact the greater our pleasure in him in this life the greater our capacity to enjoy him in the next life. 

"Humble yourselves before the Lord, and he will exalt you." - James an apostle of Jesus. Jas 4:10  

And he said to all, "If anyone would come after me, let him deny himself and take up his cross daily and follow me. For whoever would save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for my sake will save it. For what does it profit a man if he gains the whole world and loses or forfeits himself?" - Jesus. Luk 9:23-25

"Father, if you are willing, remove this cup from me. Nevertheless, not my will, but yours, be done." - Jesus right before his betrayal. Luk 22:42 

"...but (Jesus) emptied himself, by taking the form of a servant, being born in the likeness of men. And being found in human form, he humbled himself by becoming obedient to the point of death, even death on a cross. Therefore God has highly exalted him and bestowed on him the name that is above every name, - Paul and apostle of Jesus Php 2:7-9

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*Denying ourselves legitimate pleasures long-term that we find in creation is not God's design or intent. Creation is good but it is not our God. It is a means to an end, not the end itself. It is given to show us God - His beauty, power, creativity, and love and should be seen and approached as such.

No shortcuts to maturity

Pain is a ¹necessary part of ²growth. We either experience it through... 

³Self-denial and submission to God's ⁴directives - necessary because of our brokenness and inclination towards ⁵rebellions distrust of God.

or 

As a result of living in a broken world among others who are also broken from their rebellion to God. 

There is no way around pain. It comes to us through the offenses of others in this broken world. There are also no shortcuts to being weaned from our own ⁶brokenness and the pain it causes.

"I have said these things to you, that in me you may have peace. In the world, you will have tribulation (The meaning of tribulation in the original Greek - persecution, affliction, distress, pressure). But take heart (i.e. do not be fearful or lose hope); ⁷I have overcome the world.” - Jesus in John 16:33

The good news is God knows and understands our pain because Christ stepped into our broken world and suffered far more than we ever will - and for our benefit. 

And not only so but he also uses our pain and struggles for our good. In knowing this, we find peace - i.e. "...in me you may have peace." 

Though pain continues in this life, it no longer disturbs us in the way it did before. We now see how God uses it for a good purpose if we love and trust Him.

In Christ, we therefore live with ⁷hope in the midst of pain, not despair, anxiety or fear.

How do we discover God's love in our pain? click here

For a further discussion on the primary role of pain click here

For a further discussion of how God uses evil for our good click here...and here.

The greater the evil the greater the opportunity for healing/

grace click here.

For a discussion on the key lesson from the book of Job, click here.

For a discussion on the value of paradox, click here.

For a discussion on the necessity of humility click here

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Footnotes:

¹Pain reminds us that we were not designed to operate without God. The more we come to see and understand this the more we look to God for true life, and not to creation with all it's "creature comforts."

Coming to see and know God as the true source of life, love, and all things is at the heart of our transformation - growth. Pain often is a - if not the - primary means  by which this occurs if we receive it by faith as such, i.e. we do not become angered or embittered by our suffering, pain, or struggles but welcome them as our friends to help us grow deeper roots into God and find Him more and more as our true life and joy.

"When all kinds of trials and temptations crowd into your lives my brothers, don’t resent them as intruders, but welcome them as friends! Realise that they come to test your faith and to produce in you the quality of endurance. But let the process go on until that endurance is fully developed, and you will find you have become men of mature character with the right sort of independence..." Jas 1:2-3 JB Phillips

²We are so blinded by our selfishness we will never see how deep it runs until we are pressed beyond our ability to handle the pain it causes.

³God actually calls us to go through pain to advance us spiritually. We don't think of self-denial as a form of pain. However, self-denial is a call to turn away from those things we use to find comfort in and ease our pain, so we might pursue God as our comfort.

To expand on this, Christ says we are to take up our cross and follow him. The cross is a symbol of pain and death. Christ is calling us to take on and embrace pain in the same way He did in order to follow him. At first, we might think this is insane. Why would God call us to willingly take on and embrace pain when we spend all our lives trying to avoid it!?

When the world asks how can God be good and just, when He does not relieve all the pain and suffering in the world (including our own), it reveals the depth of our rebellion towards God. Pain is the organic fruit of our rebellious distrust and independence from God, not as deliberate punishment by some angry supernatural being. It only remains to wean us away from inappropriate dependence on the creation and turn us to dependence on the Creator for true life where it belongs and where we will flourish and experience life most. 

If we allow pain to do this, we will be saved in, by, and through our pain and suffering, i.e. It remains for the exact opposite of what we assume. God ultimately uses it to advance us spiritually, not harm us. But only if we receive it as from His hand for our advancement, not our harm. If we believe it is only for our harm we will not gain from it the good God intends.

⁴The primary directive is that we love God with all that we have and are and our neighbor as ourselves.

⁵Pursuit of something other than God for life is at the heart of our rebellion. This says these other things are more important or valuable than God i.e. they become our God. 

⁶The heart of our brokenness - selfishness - is our rebellious commitment to being our own god. We put greater trust in ourselves into gaining what is best than trusting God to do what is best for us. This is due to not believing God is who he claims to be... the Source of life, love, and all things. The result is the pursuit of creation itself and making it our god. 

How's that working for you so far? 

"For the wrath of God is revealed from heaven against all ungodliness and unrighteousness of men, who by their unrighteousness suppress the truth. For what can be known about God is plain to them, because God has shown it to them.

For his invisible attributes, namely, his eternal power and divine nature, have been clearly perceived, ever since the creation of the world, in the things that have been made. So they are without excuse.

For although they knew God, they did not honor him as God or give thanks to him, but they became futile in their thinking, and their foolish hearts were darkened. Claiming to be wise, they became fools, and exchanged the glory of the immortal God for images resembling mortal man and birds and animals and creeping things." - Rom1:18-23

Of course, today we do not worship birds, animals, and creeping things as they did back when Paul penned this. But these are representatives of creation. We naturally ascribe to created things - i.e. anything from our earthly existence - the value and glory that can only be ascribed to God. That is the application and underlying truth of this passage for us today, not the primitive worship of animals.

⁷How did Christ overcome the world? He embraced the world's pain and suffering (including ours) and allowed it to kill him so that we might not have to remain in pain and die. Then He overcame that pain by resurrecting so that we might also resurrect one day if we put our trust in Him.  

Pain and death do not have the final word, life does in and through Christ demonstrated and confirmed by his resurrection. Because he resurrected, we will also in him. This is our hope in our pain.

in this world, you will have tribulation

Christ said, "...in this world, you will have tribulation..." Struggle and pain are inevitable in a broken world made up of broken people - which includes you and I. 

To say it another way, we should not be surprised by struggle or think God has abandoned us when struggles happen. If we do not understand this we will be inclined to have a pity party or even fall into despair when things go wrong, thinking something's ¹uniquely wrong with us and God has painted a target on our back or worse yet, that God is not good or doesn't exist at all. 

We will also be tempted to position our lives so that avoidance of pain is our primary focus i.e. we will seek comfort and make ²pleasure our greatest pursuit. 

This of course, would be a mistake since struggle is not without a ³good purpose.

Is life only tribulation, struggle, suffering? No. We can legitimately enjoy and be genuinely grateful for the good gifts God provides, and are called to be. But, obtaining and enjoying His gifts is not our focus; God’s glory is. And not simply because glorifying God is asked of us but it is also desired by us. 

The irony and surprise is when we experience God's glory we also find ⁴our greatest joy and pleasure. This is our experience now when we trust Him and will be our uninterrupted state once we enter into eternity.

Once we understand that struggle is inevitable, the question then becomes whether we engage tribulation passively or actively; willingly or unwillingly.

There is active and passive suffering. Though they both ⁵can result in our conformity to Christ they're not the same in how we engage them.

Passive suffering occurs when we experience loss through circumstances we do not choose i.e. outside our control e.g. someone unjustly mistreating us, sickness -- our own or loved ones -- loss of some gift, job or material possession, or even a loved one etc. If we live any length of time we all will encounter these challenges.

Active suffering is to willingly -- actively -- become a living sacrifice. It is choosing daily to deny ourselves, take up our cross and follow Christ.

If we do not willfully (actively) participate in suffering, we will still experience passive suffering simply because the world is broken but most importantly because God ⁶is always working to make us like his Son no matter how much we intentionally or unintentionally, willfully or unwillingly participate.

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¹And of course something is wrong with us. I'm referring to something being uniquely wrong, when in fact we all experience the same plight i.e. that verse is not just for us alone. The “you” referred to is a universal you.

²And in fact many within the church do exactly that. The result is what is sometimes called the "prosperity" gospel or the "health and wealth" gospel.

³For a fuller discussion of that good purpose click here.

⁴For a fuller discussion of Gods glory being our greatest joy click here.

⁵In both active and passive suffering, trust is central. We must trust God is working for our good -- i.e. to make us Christlike -- if we are to fully gain the benefit He intends from struggles. In active suffering we step our in faith knowing we honor God in our obedience. In passage suffering we look to Jesus, the founder and perfecter of our faith, who for the joy that was set before him endured the cross, despising the shame, and is seated at the right hand of the throne of God. - Heb 12:2

⁶"And I am sure of this, that he who began a good work in you will bring it to completion at the day of Jesus Christ." Philippians 1:6

the fight of faith

The following are some thoughts stirred up by a message from Tyler David (excerpts from his message italicized and in "quotes" below). Tyler is one of several teaching elders/pastors in my former church.

"One of the most conscious and consistent ways you can love God is by striving (battling/fighting) to live for his will more (rather) than our own." 

"The constant for the Christian is the fight against sin (i.e. unbelief or distrust)."

"Faith does not make you sinless it makes you fight." 

Some related thoughts:

I would add that faith is the fight i.e. fighting to trust or not trust God is at the heart of the battle against sin. 

The essence or heart of sin (all ⁴wrong/ bad actions) is distrust in God. Was this not at the heart of Adam and Eve's rebellion?

When do we choose relief - i.e. self-comforting through some temporary gratification to ease our pain - over the fight against unbelief? When we stop believing that what we are fighting for (i.e. Gods way and design) is better-more rewarding than immediate relief from the pain of pursuing God. Denying ourselves immediate gratification - i.e. taking up our cross - is painful. That's why it's called a cross. 

To say this another way, when we believe what we are getting through immediate gratification, is better and more rewarding long term than what we are giving up short term - i.e. delayed gratification promised by God - we stop our faithful pursuit of Him.

"You should never be discouraged because you ¹always are in the fight, you should be discouraged (concerned) if you wish to no longer engage in the fight."

The problem with indulging in our natural human desires is they only give temporary satisfaction and always have negative repercussions; if not immediately, eventually, and particularly in eternity.

1Pe 2:21 "For to this you have been called, because Christ also suffered for you, leaving you an example, so that you might follow in his steps (i.e. suffer like him). 22 He committed no sin, (he never stopped trusting or turned away from God in his suffering), neither was deceit found in his mouth." i.e. not only were his actions right but everything he said was true, not misleading...

1Pe 2:23 When he was reviled, he did not revile in return; when he suffered, he did not threaten, but instead he continued entrusting himself to him who judges justly (Christ never stopped believing his Father's goodness and that His Father always did good and right by him in all he called him to say, do, and allowed him to go through/ experience, even in the midst of His experiencing great opposition). 

22 He committed no sin... i.e.  Jesus'  attitude was "I am going to trust the promises of my Father over the comforts/ promises of sin, even if that means suffering loss of relief in the moment."  This was the essence of his response to the satan (the deceiver and accuser) when He was tempted after 40 days in the wilderness. Because Christ did this, it enabled him to suffer well (endure) and not verbally lash out or strike back at those who caused his pain, i.e. Christ was long-suffering... He suffered over an extended period.

What is natural for you (us) without God in your life is actually contrary to what is best for you according to God's design/will.

Seeking immediate gratification or comfort is only natural because of our present state of pain due to our rebellion...not because of our original design, but rebellion to that design (and the Designer).

Our natural (fallen untrusting) heart seeks to find life apart from God, when it's just not possible (at least long term), simply because we are designed by God and for God and therefore can only find true meaning, fulfillment and purpose in and through God. This is the only way, simply because it is the way we are made as His image bearers. We are designed to receive and reflect back His love to Him and out to others.

That's not saying we can not find any meaning-fulfillment-purpose outside of God (we obviously can and do), but not lasting meaning, fulfillment and purpose and therefore not true meaning-fulfillment-purpose i.e. whatever we do find or gain apart from God is temporary and superficial.

The immediate comfort, relief and meaning we are able to obtain appears to be true because it is what we are experiencing "in the moment" i.e. It is what seems most real only because it is what we are presently experiencing. Yet when the moment passes we find ourselves left still wanting and looking again, never truly or fully finding what we seek.

What comes natural to you and me, leads to death. What seems most enjoyable and satisfying in the moment is usually what is most harmful and destructive long term.

What is actually best for us is contrary to what we naturally desire. This in itself is evidence of the power and deception of sin; of our blindness and unbelief i.e. that which brings us greatest satisfaction or relief in the moment is actually a means to our ultimate destruction, not our best long term. This is the essence of why Adam and Eve ate from the tree of the knowledge of good and evil.

Faith and trust in God is not what comes "natural" to us (it is supernatural) i.e. it must be God focused and inspired. 

Choosing God must be a conscious, deliberate choice. A choice based on the promises of God and who He is. A choice that believes God keeps his promises and what He calls us to is better than what we are naturally inclined to. In our present fallen condition and without the Spirit of God revealing to us the beauty of God, we default to distrust in God, seeking things to satisfy us apart from Him. In short, to use the biblical expression, we seek to be our own god.

We are so utterly blind to the love and goodness of God we choose to pursue that which results in our ultimate destruction instead of Him who is life. The true nature of our condition is ²we would not seek or pursue God at all if He did not reveal His beauty and loveliness to us.

Of course, the opposite is true. What is often hardest and most painful, most faith demanding is usually what is best for us. Not short term, but long term; not in the moment but in eternity, where it matters most.

And this is where faith comes in. God tells us death to (or loss of) temporary pleasures ultimately increases our capacity and experience of life (God) now but but even more importantly, in eternity. Delayed gratification can only happen by faith. 

So it all comes down to faith. What (who) do we believe knows best and is best. Do we believe God and what he tells us (promises) is best or do we latch on to the immediate pleasure of something (or someone) other than God, believing it is best?

This was the choice presented to Adam and Eve in the beginning. They chose the latter (being their own god i.e. to sustain themselves apart from God), which we still are naturally inclined toward to this very day.

The greatest source - generator and instiller of trust in God's love for us and his desire for our good, is Jesus. If or when you are tempted to question the love and goodness of God, look at Jesus - what he deliberately and willfully put himself through for us, for you - to restore us back to our Father. 

Why would he do that? Why would he and the Father agree to do for us what we needed most and could never do for ourselves when we totally rejected him and the life he alone gives? WHY!!?? It is certainly not because God needed to or felt he had to fix the mess we felt He created (he actually didn't but from our perspective we think he did) by allowing man to make a choice to reject him, when he knew we would.

But we would not truly be like God if we did not have our own understanding (ability to think/reason) and choice.

A most important prayer

God help me to see you more and more in all your beauty, goodness and love so that I might fall more in love with you and entrust myself more fully into your care so I might live more fully for your honor and glory.

Participating in God's love more fully

Often a key way God reveals himself more fully to us is in our acting in faith that he is exactly who he claims to be; God is most beautiful, lovely, trustworthy and good even if we can't see it at the time. 

Trusting God is exactly who he claims to be, brings God honor and joy. 

Christ also tells us if we are faithful in a little, we will be entrusted with more.

Not just greater resources necessarily, but greater responsibility and the resources needed to carry it out. He who is faithful with a little is given more but also to him whom much is given much is required.

So when we step out in obedience by faith, we do so believing God is exactly who he claims to be and will do what he promises, while also asking God to reveal who He is more fully.

We all must operate by faith

Everyone has a trust issue, i.e. no one can operate without trusting someone or something. The reason is simple; we are not all-knowing/wise or all-powerful. We don't have all the information we need to know whether we are taking the best course of action and even if we did know, we don't have the ability (power) to act/execute the task according to that knowledge.

A primary way we attempt to handle this is by dismissing the reality that there is design in the world (the unbelieving hearf says there is no designer. Everything came about by chance over a long period of time i.e. it evolved vs created). This enables us to justify not living according to God's will/design. 

However, if there is design, there is a right and wrong way to operate i.e. we should operate according to how things are designed to operate (i.e. in harmony with God, the designer). If we do, we are in harmony with how things operate and if we don't; we are not i.e. doing things a certain way matters. To not be in harmony means we are in disharmony i.e. operating in conflict, discord, friction, etc. This leads to destruction; our crashing and burning, so to speak.

We may despise the battle - the fight of faith - but love the fruit i.e. a closer union with God. If and when we discover the best way to obtain fruit is in and through the battle, we learn to ³love the battle as much as we love the fruit.

For a further discussion on how the righteous live by faith, click here.

For a further discussion on the anatomy of motivation, click here. 

For a further discussion on how faith is hard work click here
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¹Always being in the fight of faith is a common experience because we are broken [untrusting] and living in a broken (unbelieving/rebellious) world. Expect it, don't be surprised by it.

²whatever desire for God or joy we find/experience in seeking God is only because God has awakened our heart by his love.

To do so God often has to allow us to go through great pain 1st.  For more on this click here.

³i.e. to love the means as well as the end.

⁴at the heart of all good and right actions is faith i.e. trust in God.

The greater our sin the greater his Grace

When we are most ugly and unlovely, God is loving us most.

How so? 

It requires more love to love someone when they are most unlovely than when they are most lovely i.e. To love us at our worst involves a greater love (commitment to love) than loving us at our best (Just think of your own experience in loving someone angry, ¹hostile, fearful, untrusting, bitter, or anxious versus someone thoughtful and kind). 

"For while we were still weak, at the right time Christ died for the ungodly. For one will scarcely die for a righteous person - though perhaps for a good person, one would dare even to die - but God shows his love for us in that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us." - Paul an apostle of Jesus. Rom 5:6-8

So how can God do this... how can He love the unlovely? Because God's love has nothing to do with our performance. It is based entirely on someone else's performance. God himself through Christ!

That commitment of love was made a long time ago (Eph 1:4-6) and the decision and follow through on it is already completed i.e. "it is finished (John 19:30)." Therefore nothing we do can add to or take away from God's love, nothing!!! If we are His child, His love is secured for us and is now fixed on us no matter what! (Rom 8:31-39) 

Why? Because it is secured by someone else's efforts not our own. And not just anyone's, but the efforts of none other than the perfectly loved and lovely, perfectly faithful, and obedient eternal Son of God. The love God has for his Son is now the very same love he has for us. Let this sink in!!!

As we come to recognize this is the kind of love God has for us as his children; a love that, in the above sense, is more intense and steadfast the more unlovely we are, this love... his love, begins to transform us. The more we "get it" the more we change. 

To put this in practical terms, think of one of the areas you struggle with most. Anger, gluttony, anxiety, fear, lust etc...fill in the blank. Whatever it is, think of the last time you blew it in this area. How did you feel? Dejected, rejected? (Not by God. That, my friend, is all in your head, not in God's heart. More on this later). 

Next time you find yourself failing in the area you struggle with most, make yourself (choose to) think in the midst of that struggle, "God is loving me right now while I am in the middle of this. He is loving me in my sin and in my struggle!" Then make yourself think of why he is 100% with you and for you, loving you at the very moment of your failure, and what Christ did so the Father doesn't turn away but is always seeking, pursuing, and loving you, as much as ever (in a sense more than ever); that Christ died for that very sin you are in the middle of. Your specific sin helped put him on the cross. This thinking is what the Bible means when it says "reckon" these things to be true. 

Romans 6:8 Now if we have died with Christ, we believe that we will also live (present tense) with him. 9 We know that Christ, being raised from the dead, will never die again; death no longer has dominion over him. 10 For the death he died he died to sin, once for all, but the life he lives he lives to God. 11 So you also (in the exact same way) must consider (reckon in the KJV) yourselves dead to sin and alive to God in Christ Jesus.

How will this "reckoning" affect what you are struggling with? My suggestion is if you really "get" his love (i.e. believe he loves you the way he says and has already proven) it will cause that sin's pull to lose its grip as it's happening. If it doesn't, it is only because you don't truly believe He really loves you as He claims (and proved) and is loving you in and at that moment of your turning away from trust in Him. That He already knew in advance how, when, and where you would fail him, and he went to the cross anyway. 

Are we getting better or worse? BOTH!

God's love for us wasn't just before we came to Christ but also now that we are in him... And in a sense, even more so. How? As we mature the awareness of our need for God's love increases (our objective need for it, however, remains constant and never changes, as well as its availability. This is a constant and settled reality because of Christ). 

But as we mature, our actual sin/unbelief/distrust truly declines over time (i.e. our faith increases resulting in greater faithfulness/obedience) while our subjective awareness of our sin/unbelief/distrust increases. Or to say it another way, we are getting better in one sense but getting worse in another, at the same time. And this trajectory continues until we go to be with him. 

Our sense of increasing dependence, need, and appreciation for the grace of God also increases (the need itself is and has always been constant, our sense of that need does not; it grows over time).

As we mature in our faith we become more keenly aware of the various areas of our rebellious distrust we still subtly cling to, as well as God's grace extended to us in that rebellion. It's not that these (our rebellion and God's grace) are new areas. They were always there, we just weren't as aware they were. They are only new to our awareness of them. 

That is not to say sin/distrust/unbelief/unfaithfulness does not matter (or to say it positively, whether faith matters), it does. Rom 6:1-2  But we are talking about God's disposition of love towards us in our sin, not our subjective experience and participation in that love i.e. our rebellious distrust of God does not change his actual love for us, it only changes our experience of it.

God's objective love and our subjective experience of that love are entirely distinct even though connected. One is always true and constant (his objective love) while the other (our experiencing of his love) comes and goes according to our faith i.e. our trust (our resting or abiding in it) that His love is there, never-ending, uninterrupted, no matter what we go through or how we feel. 

For a further discussion on our participation and experience of God's love click here. 

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¹Loving our enemies is a very radical idea and totally contrary to our broken, rebellious, and distrusting nature. But Christ calls us to love our enemies because this is exactly what he does and who He is. He is seeking to make us more like Himself i.e. to conform us to his image. 

 The deepest and greatest love is always sacrificial. GOD IS LOVE.