Righteousness vs shame

Righteousness is a dirty word for many today. In the minds of more than a few, it suggests someone who is self-righteous or hypocritical. This is justifiably unappealing to anyone. 

However, the Bible offers a very different definition. 

Righteousness means to be and feel presentable, acceptable i.e. right. To pass inspection and be approved and found acceptable and in right relationship with another, even pleasing in the eyes of someone I wish or seek to please. 

We want to be approved by someone we value and even more so by someone whose opinion we value most; someone who is ¹highly valuable themselves that we highly regard or value. The more important they are to us and others the more significant their approval.

We all desire to be well-pleasing - approved, accepted, praised, and impressive in the eyes of another. 

Shame is feeling just the opposite - it is feeling rejected,  unacceptable, unapproved, and insignificant.

Prior to the rebellion in Eden, there was no shame, i.e. No sense of being unacceptable or unpresentable; of not feeling or being right. We were totally comfortable being uncovered with nothing hidden - not just physically, but in every way. (Hiding indicates guilt and shame. Before the rebellion in the garden, there was neither). We felt no need to hide or cover anything, particularly failure since there had been none.

And the man and his wife were both naked and ⁵were not ashamed.  Genesis 2:25 ESV

Why does shame matter? 

Ever since the rebellion of our original parents in Eden we have been under the burden of a deeply buried sense of shame from failure. This sense of shame (failure) has a very powerful hold and control over us. So much so that Adam and Eve felt compelled to hide - to cover themselves in an attempt to hide their failure to heed God's directions and its resulting shame. 

Since the original rebellion of Adam, we are now filled with shame because of alienation from (and absence of) our Creator - the true and rightful source of our significance and value. 

We severed our connection with God (and our sense of His acceptance and approval) by turning away from Him and refusing to heed his warning to not eat from the forbidden tree. 

As a result, we had to be removed from the garden - i.e. paradise, home - so we could no longer eat of the tree of life while ²in this state of rebellion. This would have allowed us to live indefinitely without having to deal with and face the consequences of our rebellion. This is contrary to who we truly are - i.e. creatures designed to be in harmony with their Creator and willingly participating and experiencing life with and in God. Their choice severed their relationship with our Creator.

Ever since our rebellion we have also longed to be restored and return to Eden; to be welcomed again; to be complete again; to have peace and contentment again; to be filled with love and joy without interruption again - as we were originally and are still designed to be now. 

We long to be "home" i.e. in a place where we feel we belong and are safe. A place where we are welcomed, held, and cherished.

But we want this on our terms, not the terms we were designed to live under. We have rebelled and continue to rebel against God and our design. We now refuse to trust Him and seek Him to fill this longing for "home."  We seek "home" anywhere and in anything other than God.

Our rebellion may not be conscious on our part but every time we look to anything other than God for our sense of value, it is an act of rebellion, i.e. distrust of God. We put our trust in anything but God - who alone can give us our true sense of value (glory) - and look anywhere except to Him for life - i.e. for meaning, significance, purpose, value, identity, fulfillment, glory etc. This is now our default response on how we handle life (until God gets hold of our hearts). It is a response of rebellious distrust of God.

We may not feel or be fully aware of the depth of our shame, but we are often keenly aware of a need for approval or praise - or when we are disapproved of or rejected i.e. shamed. At the heart of our need for approval and praise is a sense of shame and a desire to avoid it at all costs. 

We always carry with us a sense of rejection (and a fear that our shame can't be fixed if our failures are ever exposed), a sense of restlessness, of being out of the environment we were meant to be in, of being "away from home." 

Our need to constantly be affirmed (and prove) we are significant, important, and loved - i.e. worthy of these - is because we don't feel we are but should be. ³We are in a constant state of shame, no matter how deeply buried it may be or how unconscious we are of it. 

We may feel good about ourselves in our best moments, but as soon as we mess up - or are simply accused of messing up, the shame - ever lurking under the surface - rushes to the top and rears its ugly head. 

Our failures are devastating because we depend on our successes to feel significant, accepted, and loved - i.e. to feel good about ourselves - instead of looking to God for these things.

Once we get a hold of the fact that we are significant, accepted, and fully loved in Christ, these failures and the fear of them being seen have far less sway over us. The more we believe (abide) in God's love, the less our shame or fears control us and the more we operate from love for God and others. Shame is all about me. Love is about others. 

In Christ, we are free from the need to be approved by others - or even ourselves. As we more fully grasp that we are ⁴approved by the most significant person of all - the very Creator and Sustainer of life and all things - we are increasingly freed from trying to win the approval of others. If He is for us, then who (including ourselves) can be against us?

God constantly seeks to reveal to us how much we depend on something other than him for life (feeling accepted,  loved, and approved). This occurs most often in our pain and struggles. He seeks to strip away our ⁶idols and draw us closer to Him (which usually feels more like death at the time, not a means to life). He is always calling us closer because he knows in Him alone is true and eternal life i.e. to draw us closer is not only for his greater glory but our highest good - our best interest. 

The maturing process is increasingly turning away from those things we derive our worth (and identity) from and more to Him. God is constantly seeking to help us see that finding life - i.e. a sense of value, meaning, and significance - is only in Him and not the other things we look to and have grown to count and depend on. 

As we mature we come to see – by God's love and Spirit - how much we look to ⁶everything but Him for “life.” 

The only question is will you return to him? Christ has done all that is necessary for you to be perfectly accepted and fully embraced by His Father. It is up to us now to receive (believe) this (His) offer. To not, is to continue on our current path, rejecting His offer and Him i.e. to continue on our path of shame and destruction. 

For a discussion on the meaning of life, click here. 

For a discussion on pleasing God, click here

For a discussion on good and bad self-confidence, click here. 

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¹And who is greater, more significant, more valuable and worthy of our respect, honor, and worship then the Creator and Sustainer of love, life, and all things? No one and nothing! For from him through him and to him or all things!

²To continue living in a state of rebellion unchecked by death, only results in increasing destruction by us. 

³I am speaking of humanity in general when in a state of separation from God. We can be and are freed of these things the more we understand, receive and partake of the love of God.

⁴And not only are we approved by the Creator of all things - the most significant person in the universe - but this same person provided for us all that was necessary for that approval. This in great part is why He is so significant.

⁵God's description of us just before we rebelled.

⁶ An idol is anything we value more than God. 

⁷To get an idea of our shame consider having your private thought's or actions played out and posted to a YouTube channel the entire world is subscribed to. Thoughts or acts of anger, lust, fear, disloyalty, lying and hatred and so on we might engage in over the course of a several days. 

Would we be proud of everything revealed or embarrassed to show our face in public? Would people want to embrace us or avoid us after watching? To avoid shame we may go as far as saying any rejection we experience is the fault of others, not our own.