man...saint and sinner

Have you ever wondered how we humans have such a great capacity for both harm and good at the same time? Humanity has these two very opposite and contradictory characteristics. This is not only addressed in the Bible but observable in human behavior (ourselves and others) now and throughout history.

Among humanity, we have observed, appreciated, and enjoyed the Michel Angelo's, Leonardo da Vinci's, Mother Teresa's, and Johann Sebastian Bach's of the world while at the same time being appalled at the ¹Stalin's, Hitler's, and Mao Zedong's of the world. We have observed man expressing the greatest beauty and kindness, while at the same time the greatest cruelty and destruction. How can such a great capacity for good and evil reside within the same being?

Humanity was designed to enjoy the greatest bliss possible through a relationship with the most blissful, magnificent, and ultimate being in the universe. But we seek to be our own god. In effect, this is to reject a relationship with this glorious being since He alone is God. We have cut ourselves off from the very source of life, love, purpose, and meaning. As a result, humanity no longer functions as God designed and intended.

Now we seek to fill the void that resulted from this disconnect by anything within our grasp, be it our natural gifts, power, wealth, fame, or pleasure …²fill in the blank. Mankind has an endless and insatiable need to feel significant, important, valuable, worthwhile ... loved. God ³created us this way. Not with a void -- that was our doing -- but with the capacity and desire to participate in the one who is infinite love, wisdom, majesty, and beauty.

When you combine

*great skill, ability, and talent -- all aspects of our being in God's image

 
*and great resources -- i.e. the incredible world with everything in it that God made, including other image-bearers with great ability and similar resources

 
*with the great void of God's absence, you have a formula for the greatest potential destruction.

The greater the vacuum in us for life, the greater the energy needed and exerted to fill it. And what would create a greater void than the absence of the very Source of infinite life, love, and all things?

Some seek to fill this by exerting power and control over others and some with power and control over the creation in general.

When men and women, however, are connected to the Source of life, love, meaning, and purpose, their God-given creativity and abilities are engaged and shine forth for great good, beauty, and joy. In short, they become conduits of the goodness and love of God, instead of emotional and spiritual black holes sucking in and destroying everything in their path.

They become fountains for good because they are filled with the good of the Creator or they become agents of evil to fill the infinite void of God's absence, the unending and inexhaustible source of life.

For a further discussion of what we are created for click here. 

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¹Number killed under the following according to http://img.gawkerassets.com/img/182h4jpdfjpaijpg/original.jpg

Stalin - 23 million
Hitler - 17 million
Mao - 78 million

²Man even uses attempts at "obedience" to win God's favor in order to feel significant and accepted by him. This is true of any religious system, be that so-called Christianity, Islam, or anything else.

I say so-called because true Christianity is CHRISTianity. It is about Christ's efforts on our behalf, not our efforts to win the favor of God and others. It's about knowing God's bottomless love for us, secured by Christ's efforts, and driven by His infinite love.

³God is the only endless and infinite source of love, life, beauty, joy, etc. For us to participate and enjoy him as he is, required us to have a capacity equal to God's infinite fullness, or at least as great a capacity as possible without us actually being God ourselves. Imagine how great a void there must be to have such a infinite capacity and be absent that which it was created to be filled with.

When are we most alive?

When are we most alive? When we are participating in the life of God. The more we participate in his life, the more we are restored to our original design and the more alive we become.  

And what is the life of God? It is the love and joy God has had from all eternity past and continuously experiences in the union and communion between the Father and the Son as they gaze upon, share in and show forth the beauty, majesty and glory of the other in, by and through the Holy Spirit; the Spirit of infinite and eternal passion of love and adoration. 

This very same life is freely extended to any and all image bearers (us) who will receive it. 

We will participate in and experience that life to the degree we turn away from trying to secure life by our own efforts through anything other than God and instead let him fill us with his Life-Spirit-Love.

To say it another way, the degree to which we look to something other than God for life, is the degree to which we will not look to and experience the infinite life offered and found in him. 

Jesus said:

"And this is eternal life, that they know you the only true God, and Jesus Christ whom you have sent.

And now, Father, glorify me in your own presence with the glory that I had with you before the world existed.


I have manifested your name to the people whom you gave me out of the world. Yours they were, and you gave them to me, and they have kept your word. Now they know that everything that you have given me is from you. For I have given them the words that you gave me, and they have received them and have come to know in truth that I came from you; and they have believed that you sent me.

I am praying for them. I am not praying for the world but for those whom you have given me, for they are yours.

All mine are yours, and yours are mine, and I am glorified in them.

And I am no longer in the world, but they are in the world, and I am coming to you. Holy Father, keep them in your name, which you have given me, that they may be one, even as we are one." - John 17:3-11 

"...that they know you..." to "know" in this passage is not knowing information about someone but is relational knowledge (in the same way we intimately know someone we love dearly, such as our spouse). This would be the same kind of knowledge the Father has of the Son and the Son has of the Father ("...that they may be one, even as we are one..." vs 11); a knowledge that creates the joy of union/relationship - not totally unlike the joy a married couple experiences through physical entimacy. 

Also, note the number of times "give, given, or giving" (i.e. sharing/relationship) between the Father and Son is mentioned or alluded to (highlighted above). 

It is in this same knowing (the giving and receiving of God's love, life, value, glory) we find life in all its fullness because God is the source of life-love and all things.

The significance of being dependent/finite

It is obvious we are dependent beings. We see this demonstrated on a daily basis. We must have food, air, water and shelter to remain alive. If any one of these are not available we will perish physically.

We are also dependent beings spiritually and emotionally. This is evidenced by our constant need and ongoing attempt to find a sense of value, purpose and meaning. 

Why is this significant?

*This shows we must have/need meaning otherwise why the constant seeking of it.

*It also shows our attempts at acquiring it on our own, independent of God, are inadequate.

Our constant focus on self instead of God is the result and indication of our rebellion to this dependence/design.

God is the source of love, life and all things, we are not. We are designed to be consciously and deliberately connected with him and nothing else as our source for true, lasting meaning.

And if he is, to think we can find life outside and apart from him is harmful in the greatest possible way. It is like being on a road you hope and believe leads to the best possible destination when its doing exactly the opposite. It is the ultimate deception that leads to our greatest harm.

When we rebel from our design of finding true life in, through and from our Creator, we are in a *deep and constant state of pain/feeling worthless, without lasting meaning and purpose. We unsuccessfully seek to fill this void without God, when only God alone can fill it.

The good news is in His kindness, God made a way to restore and reconnect us, if we will receive his offer i.e. stop our rebellion (distrust) and start trusting him.

If we refuse his offer to reconnect-unite and find true life in him we remain in our state of pain-feeling worthless without lasting meaning and purpose. This leads ultimately to our greatest harm, not to mention dishonoring to God.
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*we are often not fully aware of our painful longing for meaning-purpose-value until we are pressed beyond our natural ability to cope i.e. when using whatever it is we use and depend on to find meaning, independent of God - our true source - is no longer possible.

For a further discussion click here.

Being freed of brokenness

In our attempts to 

1. Make life work best 

2. Get what we ¹need or want

 

3. Protect ourselves -- e.g. self-defense mechanisms... 

We develop unsound patterns of behavior from the ²earliest stages of life. These patterns become embedded into our personality and character early on - i.e. how we relate to life and others - in such a deep and subtle way, we are not fully ²conscious of them and how broken we and these patterns are i.e. we have unconsciously developed deeply imbedded patterns of brokenness by which we operate.

Only over time, as we come to see and trust in the fullness of God's infinite love for us, are we able to acknowledge, turn from and no longer allow these broken patterns to hold us back and cripple us with shame and self-condemnation but ultimately be freed from them.

However, seeing them is only the first step to overcoming them. But a vital step. We can not rise above and overcome a destructive behavior pattern or character flaw if we first don't know it exists.

These tendencies are also so embedded they never completely go away. They become a fixed part of our personality.

Once we are ³aware of these patterns and begin to be freed from them by God's love, we can easily ⁴slip back into these default tendencies, if we do not remain diligent and alert (guard our hearts) in our trust in God and His infinite love for us.

But neither do these tendencies have to control and dominate us. As we come to know and trust in God's infinite love, God becomes the dominant force/driver in our life/conduct instead of these deeply embedded and broken patterns. Though the tendencies and our inclination to them remain, we are increasingly freed from our brokenness and empowered to rise above and overcome it through our constantly growing trust in God's unrelenting love. It is our trust in His love that enables us to overcome these tendencies. As our trust grows, so does our ability to break free. God's love, instead of our broken attempts of self-love and self-deliverance, becomes the primary influence/force/drive behind our behavior.

As we learn to trust his infinite love we find it superior to our finite self-loving (expressed in and through our embedded tendencies and broken patterns of living and relating to the world and others) and we become more and more freed from these attempts to secure life for and by ourselves.

Awareness of these areas of brokenness and God's ceaseless super-abounding love in spite of them is key to being free.

Ironically even though these tendencies are always with us, ³lurking just underneath the potentially more powerful influence of God's love, they are not a bad thing but good. Once we are aware of these tendencies, these patterns of brokenness require us to more diligently and constantly look to God to remind ourselves of his love to continually overcome and rise above them. Where we are weakest (in natural resources to live as we are called and designed i.e. for the glory of God) we must be strongest in God's power/love to do so. 

To say it another way, our points of brokenness/greatest weakness also become the points at which we must depend on God most to overcome them, which is a good thing, not bad.

"...where sin increased, grace abounded all the more," Rom 5:20b

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¹think of an infant crying when they are hungry, tired, or need a dry diaper. The crying itself is not wrong (no more than praying is). It is how we let others know our needs before we can speak. How we use the crying i.e. why we cry (and later use our words or actions) is the issue. Do these become a means to simply convey our needs or an attempt to control our world in an unhealthy way i.e. to manipulate and control others to meet our needs?

At our earliest stages, we learn patterns of behavior to get/take what we need. God is not part of the equation in this development (unless our parents lovingly, constantly, and patiently point us to God as the ultimate source of all we need and they as the initial, primary means by which God meets those needs) i.e. we come into the world naturally inclined (even determined) to make life work the best we can without God. 

²There is even a field of study called Affectology that purports that we develop patterns of how to respond to our world prenatally. These responses develop and become embedded in us emotionally, not verbally, since we develop verbal skills months or years after we are born. These embedded patterns of responding are called preverbal scripts.  i.e. emotional, nonverbal (vs verbal) messages that embed within us emotionally (vs rationally) in response to negative emotional or physical input from the world outside of us (which is why parents are encouraged by some to give positive input - sing to them, play music to them, talk to them etc - to the child developing inside. The emotional state of the mom and her environment is also being conveyed to her child within. Mom being in a state of peace, contentment, fear or worry communicate to the child emotionally). Once these scripts are set in place, we replay in our hearts lies about who we are and how we can best meet our need for love i.e that we are not image-bearers of God designed to find in Him all we need, but we are our own gods who must (and will) find life independent of God the best way we know-how. Incredibly, this field of study shows that even in the womb, we are bent away from God. 

Only constant reminders of God's love and promised care coupled with trust in these can overcome these messages (lies) and the resulting broken and embedded patterns of distrust.

³Being challenged beyond our “natural” abilities to cope, surfaces these broken patterns revealing them and their inadequacy to aid us in handling challenges.

I have natural in quotations because these broken patterns are coping mechanisms we have developed by using our natural abilities along with any external resources to help us cope.

These challenges can be as extreme pain and suffering beyond our natural ability to endure or obedience (exertion) beyond our natural ability to carry it out.

⁴As our confidence in God's love exceeds our dependence on our broken patterns of relating, God's love becomes the new driving force in our life and behavior. When our confidence in God's love drops below - is less influential than our dependence on these default behavior patterns to make life work without God, we fall back into those tendencies and patterns.

Over time, as our faith matures, our confidence in God's love becomes more consistent so that we are less inclined to fall back into our broken default patterns. But those patterns are always there. What changes is our confidence in God's love...it increases, i.e. The primary force that drives our behavior is no longer dependent on the old broken, default patterns but instead on God's love.

prayer...evidence of humility

When we pray God always gives us what we need most. If he doesn't give what we request, it's either not what we need most or we are not sufficiently humbling ourselves (i.e. praying) to receive it.

To say it another way, we may need humility more than what we are asking for or think we need or want, so keep praying and when you are truly humble/dependent on God he ¹may grant it. 

Prayer isn't about "getting things" from God for ourselves, it's about being in a posture -- of humility -- to receive things so we might advance God's kingdom and glory more effectively. 

Our greatest need is God himself. The primary disposition necessary to experience him to the fullest of his infinite glory is humility expressed in or by our dependence i.e. a sense of desperate need for God above a need for anything and everything else. Prayer is the greatest evidence of this humility/dependence.

If God withholds providing for our secondary needs, it is to strengthen awareness of our primary need for Him, thereby increasing a closer union/communion with Him.

The greatest evidence of our awareness of a primary need for him is prayer. Prayer is the language/expression/fruit of humility. You may have tremendous gifts, skills, and resources, but if you do not have humility you can not truly walk with God as you were designed to. He is the infinite Creator, we are his finite/dependent creatures. 

A focus on others

The best way to know we are truly dependent on God is when we seek (pray for) things for the honor/benefit of others; Christ first and our neighbors second.

We can ²not focus on others if we are not drawing from the love of God first. We must receive God's (sacrificial) love to give/love sacrificially.

The more connected we are to God the more love we have and the more lovely (more able to love sacrificially) we become.

And we are not drawing from the love of God unless we are in union/harmony with him.

And we are not in union with him without humility.

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¹actually he will grant it when we are truly humble. I say "may" only because God alone knows when our hearts are truly in a sufficient posture of humility to receive it as God intends; we just think we know. And if we think we are when we are not, we will wrongly expect what we are praying for.

This is why we are encouraged to persevere in prayer. Our persistence itself is a humbling process. If we persist long enough we will be sufficiently humbled to receive the answer we seek or over time God will show us what we are seeking is not honoring to God and we will stop asking.

Often what we seek is not the issue to why our prayers go unanswered. Sufficient humility is i.e. our disposition in asking and seeking it.

²Why is this? We were never designed to be the source of love but rather conduits of the true Source i.e. God. Unless and until we are "plugged in" to the Source, infinite love cannot flow to and through us. 

We can love -- give and receive it -- because we are like God. But we are recipients and responders to love, not the cause or source of it. 

Everything is a gift

If something is given with clear instructions on how to correctly use it and we accept that gift under those conditions but use it as we see fit, what will likely happen?

To the gift: 

It would not operate properly and would break down prematurely.

To us: 

We would not gain the maximum benefit intended from its use.

Our relation to the giver: 

We would be dishonoring (disrespecting) the giver.

The givers relation to us: 

1. The giver may allow us to experience the full consequences of not using the gift as designed since instructions were clearly given but ignored. 

2. The giver also may rightfully withhold future gifts since we have demonstrated our actions were not wise, honorable, or trustworthy. 

All that we are and everything we have is a gift; our time, skills, as well as all external resources (food, water, shelter, air, material goods, etc).

Misuse of God's good gifts is contrary to us as well as the gifts, not just to God, whether we agree or not.

Everything has a design, function, and purpose. If we are to see something operate at its optimal level and fulfill its optimal purpose, we must use it accordingly.  

Who knows best why things exist and how they operate? The receiver of the gift or the designer/creator of that gift. 

To operate things according to the designer's/giver's will is also to operate according to God's design and therefore to operate at an optimal level.  

The designer of those gifts is always the one who best knows how their creation works best and must always be rightfully heeded and confided in for the best results/outcome.

How are we created and designed to operate? 

We were designed to love God with everything we have and are, and our neighbor as ourselves i.e. To know God and to make him known; to spread his renown/glory to others so they might also live as designed to. This is not only for God's highest glory but also their maximum joy and benefit.

Knowing and loving God is not something we initiate, but the fruit of being known and loved by God i.e. We are not love initiators but love responders. To say it succinctly, we love him because he first loves us.

seeking fame

When we draw our identity and well being from God by virtue of who we are in Christ, the accolades of men no longer matter and allure us. To the degree we do or don't is the degree to which we are or are not allured.

It seems our greatest challenge isn't the role we find ourselves in but knowing our heart and the reason we might seek that role i.e. what do we seek to accomplish in whatever role we find ourselves in, whether that be a high or low profile role. Are we seeking the ¹glory of self or the glory of God? If it is the glory of God we should be content with whatever role God assigns us while at the same time seeking to expand our influence through increased efforts (greater faithfulness) for his glory.

¹Ultimately only what is done for God lasts and has eternal implications. As the bible says it, "lay up for yourselves treasures in heaven, not treasures on earth i.e. value and pursue that which has eternal value not temporary value. 

God gives some a high profile role in the church but if it's ²legitimate it occurs only when they are not seeking it as an end itself. 

Recognition for our efforts appears to occur for many long after they are gone. Jonathan Edwards and CS Lewis come to mind, as well as Paul. Though they were recognized during their lifetime within a limited circle, their ultimate influence and true worth wasn't recognized until after they had passed away. They are far more influential, appreciated and highly regarded today than they were during their lifetime. Possibly because even great men such as these couldn't handle great accolades well? Maybe the true test of our value in honoring God is how much impact we have for him over time, after we are no longer here.

Knowing our heart

Few of us know our own hearts well enough to discern the difference between acting for God's honor or our own. But that doesn't mean none do. Some genuinely appear to come to a place where the praise of men does not pull them off center (i.e. off of their focus on Christ and awareness he is the ground for their identity; the basis of their true worth). It seems it is those very ones, who are least interested in a high profile place in the church, receive the greatest accolades (though it matters to them the least)...possibly because God knows it won't pull them from their focus and faithfullness in advancing His glory.

But even the apostle Paul struggled with getting "pulled of center." His thorn in the flesh was intended to humble him due to the greatness of the revelations he had received. But when all was said and done he also came to the place he was content with his hardships. He even came to the place where he gladly boasted in his weaknesses, so that the power of Christ would rest upon him (II Corinthians 12:7-10) i.e. his sense of significance/value/love came through/from Christ, not men or comfortable/pleasant circumstances.

Having a larger audience

If we have something worthwhile to offer to an audience larger then we do presently and our hearts are truly rooted in him, God may give us a greater influence but only as he sees fit. If he gives us that audience that is his choice, not ours. And if He does, to whom much is given much is required.

Though we are not to pursue this as a singular and isolated goal, neither are we to despise it if and when it occurs, understanding it is a resource to steward faithfully.

If we desire a larger audience so others might know and experience more of God (not more of us) this is a valid desire; it is about honoring God and not self. It is actually our calling i.e. to bear much fruit (quantitatively as well as qualitatively). Nevertheless we are not to pursue a larger audience in itself; not as a primary goal anyway. We are to pursue God and in (by) that pursuit a bigger audience will come (God will bring them) if it is God's intent.

 A recap

It appears possible that one can be grounded well enough in Christ that they can legitimately seek a higher profile in order to bring greater honor to God i.e. some may legitimately seek a larger platform to reach a larger audience and have a larger impact for God. I think this is rare and only occurs with those who have had humility burned deeply into their souls (or their bodies e.g. Jacob's hip and Paul's thorn) through much struggle and awareness of their brokenness.

God tells us to humble ourselves and he will exalt us. It seems the greater our humility the greater our exaltation (I say "seems" because our individual gifting also appears to play a significant role).

We often think only in terms of the humility side, which indeed is our part and should be our focus. But it also says he will exalt us when we do our part i.e. humble ourselves. Exaltation isn't our focus but neither should we despise it if it occurs or dismiss it as irrelevant or insignificant. It can be a means and platform to advance God's kingdom more widely and effectively. What is sure is it's certainly not wrong that we desire to further God's honor. If we are given a greater platform to do so, we should take advantage of it as an opportunity to honor God, always mindful of our subtle and strong bent toward grandiosity (a word I became more familiar with [though not an unfamiliar disposition] with the help of Jamine Goggin and Kyle Strobel, coauthors of "The Way of the Dragon or The Way of The Lamb").

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²Many, maybe most, obtain a high profile role illegitimately, though certainly not all.