Do all "good" deeds come from the same place; a place of love? Can the exact same deed come from a place of wholeness by one person and a place of need by another? And if it comes out of ²need is it truly a loving deed?
Truly good deeds that come from a heart of love have ¹no strings attached. The doer of such deeds is only interested in the deeds being gratefully received.
But this is not because the doer needs it to be gratefully received for themself. But because it confirms the deed helped the recipient as intended to i.e. to show love.
Such deeds are not designed to manipulate others to meet their own need for love.
Deeds done out of a need for love are actually done under the guise of giving. Such deeds do not come out of love but out of a need for love and affirmation gained through their good deeds. This is giving of a sort but only superficially i.e. on the outside.
Truly good deeds are intended to give love and also enjoy receiving it as well. It is who were designed to be as bearers of God's image. But receiving isn't the motive for this kind of action. Love is i.e. giving not receiving.
Deeds done to fill a need in us is giving to get love. This comes out of a need for love, not from a place of love. It comes from emptiness (lack of love) not fullness. Therefore it is not truly giving, but ²taking.
This need is only there because of our disconnection from our Designer and Creator who is the source of life, love, and all things. We can not be truly loving if we are not plugged in to the Source of love.
If we accept God's love extended to us through Christ we shift from being takers of love to givers but not until then.
"Abide in me, and I in you. As the branch cannot bear fruit by itself, unless it abides in the vine, neither can you, unless you abide in me. I am the vine; you are the branches. Whoever abides in me and I in him, he it is that bears much fruit, for apart from me you can do nothing."
- John 15:4-5
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Footnotes:
¹good deeds are not enough. This is why love is not easily offended. It comes out of fullness not need...
"If I speak in the tongues of men and of angels, but have not love, I am a noisy gong or a clanging cymbal.
And if I have prophetic powers, and understand all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have all faith, so as to remove mountains, but have not love, I am nothing. If I give away all I have, and if I deliver up my body to be burned, but have not love, I gain nothing.
Love is patient and kind; love does not envy or boast; it is not arrogant or rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful; it does not rejoice at wrongdoing, but rejoices with the truth. Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things...
So now faith, hope, and love abide, these three; but the greatest of these is love." - 1 Cor 13:1-7, 13
²this is not to say such deeds are never helpful, but in time we may find they have clear strings attached which may cause us to have to detach from those who "love" in this way.
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Grace to you
Jim Deal