God energizes us

The more we see God as the source of life, love, and all things the more our focus on and attraction to Him grows. This in turn energizes us to pursue Him - our Creator - more instead of the ¹blessing of creation all around us. Our focus shifts away from the temporary to the eternal, infinite, and permanent.

When we see Him as the all-wise, glorious, and loving Creator that He is, following His directions - i.e. advancing His Kingdom through the faithful pursuit of His ²commandments - no longer is a chore but a delight. 

Why? Because we understand that faithful pursuit of God - who is ³life - is the primary means of drawing us closer to Him and experiencing life as we were meant. In, by, and through Him is everything necessary to live the life He's designed us for and calls us to. 

Our design also indicates our purpose and "calling" from God i.e. what we were created to for... why we exist.

At first, obeying and pursuing God feels more like death, not a means to life. That is because it requires us to die to our dependence on the temporary things that only give short-term life - temporary satisfaction - in the moment, instead of eternal joy and delight in the Source of life, love, and all things.  

In reality, obedience actually wakes us up more to see why following God is necessary to experience true life in Him, who alone is lasting, never-ending - eternal - life.

This doesn't mean we don't need those created things we pursue but simply that they are temporary and exist only because He made them and grants us access to them to show us His loving generosity so we might advance His glory and kingdom of love by loving others well. This also is where we find greatest joy. 

Created things are given by God and best enjoyed when we fully understand they come to us as a gift, not as something we deserve, can or must earn, that are "rightfully" ours (when we think we've ³earned them) to use as we see fit - instead of as God directs. 

The reality is they are given to us so that we might receive with gratitude as gifts from His to show us His love for us and in turn are to be freely shared with others on Christ's behalf as His ambassadors and point them to Him who alone is life. 

If we pursue God and He prospers us circumstantially - with improved finances, relationships, health etc - it is the result of our desire and pursuit to advance His honor and kingdom of love, instead of our agenda.

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Footnotes:

¹We still enjoy creation but not as something we idolize or worship but as something that conveys His love for us more fully.

²And what commandments does He call us to?

“Teacher, which is the great commandment in the Law?” And he said to him, “You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind. This is the great and first commandment. And a second is like it: You shall love your neighbor as yourself. On these two commandments depend all the Law and the Prophets.” - Matthew 22:36-40

³What exactly is life? To find the answer we must look to God himself and what defines His life i.e. what does life consist of for Him? For more on this click here.

Pain, humility, and knowing God

Is there any connection between knowing God, humility, and pain? At first we may not think so. 

Let's take a closer look. 

Since humility is key to knowing, seeing, and experiencing God, we should embrace and receive, with thanks, anything that helps humble us, including and maybe especially pain and suffering.  

Instead of bristling at pain and pursuing ¹anything we can find to distract or relieve us from it, we should embrace struggles and be grateful for them. They can be a vital means of drawing us nearer to God. 

Knowing God is far more significant and beneficial than short-term relief from our struggles (though it often doesn't feel that way at the moment). Seeing and knowing this enables us to receive suffering with thanks.

In short, the reason we are to be thankful for our struggles (vs complaining about them) is they ²can be a primary means of strengthening our understanding and relationship with God who is the source of life, love, and all things i.e. pain ²can be a very unpleasant means to the greatest and most desirable end - our increased union with God and the joy and happiness we find in Him. 

Thankfulness is the best indicator of humility. Humility is the key to seeing and knowing God in all His infinite love and glory.

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Footnotes:

¹drugs, alcohol, and sex are some of the more obvious and most common diversions. But diversions can also be more socially acceptable pursuits such as recreation, career, entertainment, material possessions, food, power, control, fame, or anything else pleasant that will help distract us or relieve us from pain. Bordem is also a form of low grade pain. 

This is not because pleasure in itself is bad. God created us for pleasure but in, by, and through Him. When comfort or pleasure in itself (the opposite of pain) becomes a higher pursuit than God, it is contrary to our design of finding our greatest happiness in God and what He provides. 

²Actually pain and struggle is a primary means to our increasing maturity and greater union with God when received with thanksgiving. I say "can" because it depends on us trusting God is using our pain for our ultimate good (even the pain caused by the failures and offenses of others). Otherwise suffering will only make us angry and imbitter us. 

"See to it that no one fails to obtain the grace of God; that no 'root of bitterness' springs up and causes trouble, and by it many become defiled;" - Heb 12:15 

It is worth noting that the author of Hebrews was writing to people going through intense persecution and suffering at the hands of others.

Hebrews 12:6-8 ESV

⁶For the Lord disciplines the one he loves, and chastises every son whom he receives.” ⁷It is for discipline that you have to endure. God is treating you as sons. For what son is there whom his father does not discipline? ⁸If you are left without discipline, in which all have participated, then you are illegitimate children and not sons... 

Hebrews 12:11 ESV

¹¹For the moment all discipline seems painful rather than pleasant, but later it yields the peaceful fruit of righteousness to those who have been trained by it. 

Other passages that directly or indirectly address this vital truth... 

James 1:2-4 ESV

²Count it all joy, my brothers, when you meet trials of various kinds, ³for you know that the testing of your faith produces steadfastness. ⁴And let steadfastness have its full effect, that you may be perfect and complete, lacking in nothing.  

Ephesians 5:20

"...giving thanks always and for everything to God the Father in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ,"  

1 Thessalonians 5:18

"Give thanks in every circumstance, for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus." 

Colossians 3:17

"And whatever you do, in word or deed, do it all in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through Him." 

Philippians 4:6

"Be anxious for nothing, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God." 

This passage is particularly interesting because often we go to God in prayer for relief from difficulties, yet God says we should give thanks in those very kind of prayers i.e. don't just seek God for relief, seek God himself and be grateful for everything that aids you in knowing Him better, especially difficulties. 

Romans 8:28-29 

"And we know that for those who love God all things work together for good, for those who are called according to his purpose. [29] For those whom he foreknew he also predestined to be conformed to the image of his Son, in order that he might be the firstborn among many brothers."

The good that God is achieving in all things (vs 28) hard or comforting is making is more like His Son (vs 29). 

Trust or isolation?

When we speak of trusting others we are also talking about ⁴faith. We may understand the importance of trust but this also indicates that ¹no one operates without ⁴faith as well. The two are tied together. 

For society to function well, there must be faith (trust). It is essential for people to work well together. Without it we isolate and things come unglued, fragment, and fall apart. 

Relationships of every kind require faith (trust) on many levels. Trust in someone else's knowledge, wisdom, ability, intentions, character, integrity etc., and confidence (trust) by others in us as well. Trust must go both ways in a healthy relationship. It is constantly either being reinforced or eroded by one's actions. 

Ultimately, at the bottom of it all, there needs to be trust in God. This is the most vital of all. On this, everything else rests and depends.

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Footnotes:

¹Some think faith is ⁴unnecessary. They don't need to count on - trust in - others. They can simply count on themselves. 

However, this is also based on faith. Faith that we have or can obtain everything necessary ²to function at the highest level on our own. Others are not necessary.

But we are limited. We don't know everything and don't have unlimited resources or the ability to obtain all that is necessary to reach our maximum potential, no matter how talented we may be or how hard we try. 

By ourselves, we aren't even sure what our highest good is. Is it having unlimited wealth, power, knowledge, influence, popularity, praise, recognition? 

What exactly is our highest good and purpose that will give us the greatest sense of purpose, meaning, and happiness in life? 

Only someone with perfect and infinite knowledge would know and that is not us. 

Who would know and have this understanding better than our Designer who happens to also be the Creator of all things; the One who created everything for a specific reason and with a specific purpose in mind? 

If this all-wise and powerful being exists, it would be wise to find out why He made us and everything else, would it not? 

²It may be ³safer to function on our own but do we want to be safe or do we want to flourish and reach our greatest potential? 

God also created us as relational beings. First to have a relationship with Him but also relationships with others. If so, reaching our highest good without relationships is not possible. 

It is for good reason the Bible says the greatest commandment is to love God with all you have and are AND your neighbors as ourselves. Both are about relationships.

It simply is not possible to operate well completely on our own. If you haven't watched the movie "Cast Away" with Tom Hanks, it illustrates this well. 

³In order for betrayal to occur, trust must be violated. If there is no trust, there can be no violation. This is why some refuse to trust anymore. They seek to avoid betrayal. They are acting out of fear instead of faith (trust) in God. 

But this requires isolation which has its own set of issues. If we are designed for relationship we can never be complete on our own.

In the long run, isolation prevents us from experiencing life to the fullest extent we are designed to. Those who isolate have decided a safe life is better than the fullest and best possible life. The life God created us to have. To live a safe life is to also miss out on the greatest riches God offers.

⁴I think there is a slight distinction between trust and faith. We usually consider trust to be something we give someone after they have proven themselves trustworthy through our personal experience with them. Whereas faith may be regarded as more of something "blind" i.e. we trust someone without first-hand experience of their trustworthiness but more from something we heard someone did in the past for someone else. For example, we are told Christ died for us, yet this was thousands of years ago. We did not witness this event firsthand. But we may be compelled to believe it is trustworthy for various reasons such as the loving behavior of someone who trusts the claims and actions of Christ or the confirmation of Christ's claims via the archeological or historical evidence that Christ was and did what we told his did and said.

Faith is disregarded and considered so taboo by some that they avoid using the word altogether (a carryover from "the age of reason" and our postmodern view of the world and a disregard for all things spiritual i.e. that which is beyond the material world we can see and touch). So they replace it with words like trust and confidence. But when we peel back the layers at the bottom of it all is faith in some form. 

While faith might have more to do with belief in something (usually God) and trust with dependence upon something or someone (not necessarily God) they are essentially the same thing i.e. only the object of our faith or trust is different, not necessarily the nature of dependence (trust) itself. 

The knowledge of good and evil?

What is the knowledge of good and evil? It is knowing... 

-> what choices lead to ¹life 

and 

-> what choices lead to ²death 

³Without God we do not (and can not) know with absolute certainty - especially in the more critical decisions - which is which (we are finite), we only think we know.  

Decisions we believe lead to life often lead to harm and destruction. And decisions that result in pain aren't always bad but can ultimately lead to life (e.g. "no pain, no gain"). Knowledge of good and evil is not as obvious or black and white as we might think. 

The serpent's promise to Eve was once you eat of the tree you would have ⁵the knowledge of good and evil i.e. you don't need God for this. The tree (creation) will give you this without needing to depend on God. 

This was a lie. Only God alone is all-knowing and all-wise. Only He knows what is best, not us. We must look to Him to get "it" right. 

We bristle at this. But this reveals the depth of our rebellion to and distrust of God if we are honest. 

Our original parents abandoned the reality of their dependence on God and sought to be their own god. All of us have continued on the same path since. The result was all the pain and suffering we see today and have throughout human history. 

It should be very clear that humanity is not capable of being their own god and making the best choices on their own. Thinking they could know good and evil without God didn't work out as the serpent suggested. But instead, as God warned i.e. it lead to death - separation from God, others, and even within ourselves - we no longer know the true direction of our hearts. They are desperately wicked. Who can know them. 

We think we can know which choices bring ¹life or death without depending on God's input, when the reality is our independent choices can, and often do, lead to death, the exact opposite of life. 

We think we are gaining life through our independent pursuits - pursuits of created things or persons over our pursuit of God (who made all things) - when we are actually choosing the opposite i.e. that which ultimately results in our harm, destruction and death. 

While created things are good, not evil and necessary and worth pursuing, they are simply not the Creator. They will never fulfill the expectations we put on them because they (we) were not designed to. Only the Creator can meet our deepest and greatest needs and longings, not creation. 

Creation is only a means to life not the source. God is the Source of life, love, and all created things.

What about the tree of life? 

The reason Adam and Eve were banned from access to the tree of life is by having access in their state of rebellious distrust it would allow them to continue on with the lie that they could find life on their own in and through creation (i.e. the fruit from the tree of life) and not in or through God the only wise Creator. Believing they could, was the result of them already buying into the lie that they could sustain life outside of or apart from God by eating from the tree of the knowledge of good and evil. 

In other words to continue living without ever dying, we would only need to eat from the tree of life, thinking it was the source of life, instead of God - who alone is true and lasting life. Trees are great but they are still only trees. They are gifts from our Creator and a means - not the source - by which we receive life.

Having access to the tree of life would allow them to continue on in the lie that created things are the ⁵source of life. This would allow us to continue our life independent of God; or so we think. It would ultimately result in harm, destruction, and death, not true life, because only God is our source, not trees (i.e. not created things).

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Footnotes:

¹True and lasting life as we were designed to experience it is not short-term life. True life is eternal and infinite vs temporary and limited. As bearers of God's image we must have infinite life to flourish and be all we are designed to be, not the fleeting life we gain in and through creation. 

²Death comes by the absence of God and anything that separates us from Him and His presence. This isn't just physical death but spiritual death which is the absence of God's presence. 

³Before Adam and Eve ate, they didn't need to know, they only needed to trust that God knew and that should have been enough. To this day we rebel against this notion that God knows better than us. 

Knowing good and evil is good not bad. It is a quality that God himself possesses. So it can't be bad. The problem is it is not a quality we can obtain on our own, apart from God.

Knowing good and evil or trying to determine it on our own instead of seeking God to reveal to us what is best comes up short and ultimately leads to death, as God warned.

So why shouldn't we also have this knowledge? We can. 

Thinking we could determine good and evil without God's aid or direction is our problem. Not having that knowledge of itself. 

Why? 

Only God is all-knowing and infinite. We are not. 

If Adam and Eve had fully trusted God and obeyed by not eating of the forbidden tree it would have been the first step in knowing right from wrong but under God's direction not independent of God. Trusting God would have led them ⁴to a true understanding of good and evil. God alone fully understands good and evil; we must always depend on Him to know what is best.

⁵The knowledge of good and evil indicates knowledge of good and evil is not bad in itself. However, having true knowledge is only possible with God, not us. To have this knowledge requires dependence on God for He alone has it perfectly.

Which is it... sinners or like God?!

God's love for ⁴us is without conditions. FULL STOP! i.e. to be fully accepted and embraced by God requires nothing from us. God's love for us is based on someone else meeting the requirements, ¹not us.  Accepting his offer that Jesus met what God requires is the only thing required of us. 

However, that doesn't mean there is not a good reason for His infinite love for us. There is a major reason. He values and therefore loves us because we are like him - in His image. 

This has nothing to do with what we do but with who we are. Who God made us to be, not our trying to make ourselves more acceptable and loveable to Him or others.

This is why He loved us before we lifted one finger for Him. In fact even while we were still in our state of rebellious distrust of Him.

"...but God shows his love for us in that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us..." - Romans 5:8

"...But God, being rich in mercy, because of the great love with which he loved us, even when we were dead in our trespasses, made us alive together with Christ—by grace you have been saved—..." -  Ephesians 2:4-5 

Have you ever scratched your head wondering why he would value and love us while we were still in a state of rebellious distrust (i.e. "sin")? It is because our rebellion did not cancel out or erase our being like God, it only marred it - though severely. 

This resulted in our spiritual sight and sense going completely dormant (until His Spirit opens our eyes). We are now "unplugged" from God, broken, and blind to seeing His infinite worth, beauty, and love. As a result, we ascribe the worst possible intent by God on why we struggle or experience loss and pain. The Bible describes this as being spiritually blind and dead to God. 

But our capacity for love, light, and life from God didn't go away and is fully intact - we are still like God - even when we don't trust Him i.e. we still long to love and be loved. We are hard-wired for love if you will, because God is love and we are like Him, created to be in a community of love with Him. 

God values and loves our being like Him because we still have the capacity to fully partake of the community of love that God is as Father and Son in, by, and through the Spirit. 

This capacity for infinite love never went away; it only ceased to function properly i.e. it went dormant if you will. In our broken and spirituality-blind condition, we now long for the wrong things - instead of the only true thing that can fill our longing for love - because we are blind to the true Source of love and life - i.e. our Creator.

A recap and summary 

Our being in God's image is vital to how God sees us and who we are. This means there is good reason for Him to love us i.e. because of who we are, not what we do. 

We are not just rebellious - aka "dirty rotten sinners." This is only half the story - and the far lesser half - once we accept his offer. The more important half is we are still also like God with the infinite capacity to fully engage, delight in, and commune with the Infinite God and experience His infinite love and joy!!!

Being like God has nothing to do with what we do (our good deeds) for others (God and other bearers of His image) - as far as establishing a good standing with Him - but has to do with something about us - i.e. who we are, not what we do. 

God's love has nothing to do with something that comes from us or is offered by us - i.e. something we do in an attempt to earn His love or appease His disapproval. 

Our only requirement is to recognize that Christ did everything necessary to fully restore us to His Father and accept this as a free gift (the essence of grace). 

Do you receive this? If you only know this in your head but haven't fully believed it, you only need to recognize He did everything necessary to restore you so He can pour out His love on you. A love He already has for you. Because nothing you can do will restore you to God...nothing - not your abilities or good deeds!!! 

Accept His offer of complete restoration. If you are sincere in accepting and receiving His offer of perfect love, He will immediately and perfectly restore you legally now and ²completely upon His return.

"The Spirit and the Bride say, 'Come.' And let the one who hears say, 'Come.' And let the one who is thirsty come; let the one who desires take the water of life without price (you can't buy it or earn His acceptance of you)." - Revelation 22:17 

For God to have a relationship with us in the same way the Father and the Son have with each other, we had to be like him in one essential way i.e. we had to be able to receive and return love to God like God does between and among the Father and Son, in, by, and through the Spirit - i.e. God IS love. Love is the central and essential core of who God is!!! We are like Him i.e. we are hard wired for this same love. 

But love for God first, not just between each other. Our love for others must flow out of our love for God. This is why the greatest commandment is to love God first, then our neighbors. 

Does God need anything from us? No! He has Himself.

But when we say he loves us without conditions, that is not to say he doesn't have longings and desires for us and from us. He yearns to commune with us. Why? Because we are like God and God is love. 

He is the source of love, life, and all things and knows our greatest meaning, purpose, and joy is found only in Him!! His calling us to love Him above everything else is because He is our best and desires our best i.e. God is love.

James 4:5 says:

"Or do you suppose it is to no purpose that the Scripture says, 'He yearns jealously over the spirit that he has made to dwell in us' ”?

Nevertheless, His love for us is without conditions i.e. no deeds are required from us in order for His love to be set on us.

This is possible only because Christ fulfilled all the conditions ³necessary for him to love us freely and fully. Even to the point that the Father loves us in the very same way He loves His only eternally begotten Son. Jn 17:23.

"I in them and you in me, that they may become perfectly one, so that the world may know that you sent me and loved them even as you loved me."

So does our love and pursuit of God matter since it's not required?

While there should never be ⁴expectations or conditions put on us for the gifts freely given to ⁵us or on others for the gifts we gladly give them, it is legitimate to enjoy and eagerly anticipate the appreciation from others for those gifts.

When gratitude is shown for the gifts we graciously receive, it delights the giver because they know their gift (and love) is not just accepted but also enjoyed and appreciated.

This reminds us of the 10 lepers that Christ healed and only one returned and showed gratitude. As a result, Christ engaged him further because he demonstrated by returning to Christ that he appreciated what Christ did. Lk 17:12-19.

To hope for and enjoy someone else's appreciation for what we give them is different than ⁵demanding their gratitude.

This also happens to be how God loves us and enjoys a relationship with us. God doesn't ⁶demand our obedience in exchange for His love. He delights in it. We are this way because God is this way. We are in his image.

In order for him to have this kind of love relationship with us we had to be like him as much possible without actually being him.

For a further discussion on why God loves rebels but not rebellion click here 

Are we rebels against God? Click here 

For a further discussion on the solution to our rebellion click here. 

For a further discussion on why God delights in our love click here.

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¹Who met them? Christ!!! For only He could, not us!

²The claims of Christ and His return!! and Knowing God but not fully yet.

³this is necessary because we fail to. No one fulfills the greatest commandment to love God with everything we are and have. Do you? I certainly don't!

⁴Expectations and conditions come from those who need love. God wants our love but doesn't need it. He is love as a community of love among the Father, Son, and Spirit. And when we are filled with His love we are the same way i.e. we don't need the love of others because we already have the perfect love of God.

⁵Who is "us." Is it humanity in general or us who have trusted Christ. It is both. God values all his image bearers by virtue of them being like him. But only those who accept his offer of restoration actually participate in and experience that love as we are designed to.

⁶We demand things from others only because we believe we must have them in order to be loved. God doesn't because He is already a community of love between the Father and Son in, by, and through the Spirit. He doesn't need us in order to be complete and therefore does not need to demand our obedience. 

However because He is love he delights in our entering into and participating in his love. He seeks - "requires" - us to love him because he knows that is where we are most complete and find greatest joy.

True obedience

Is obedience merely doing what God says or is there something more to it?

True obedience is as much about intent as it is about action. It isn't about action only, but why we act.

Many are not self-aware enough to know the "why" of their actions. But there are several ways to evaluate our "why." 

Is our "obedience" for our gain and not the gain of others? We need to probe a bit to know.

If we do not pursue God's commandments out of love for him, and a desire to honor him, it is not true obedience but merely performance to impress others. It seeks to gain God and man's approval by doing good deeds. 

Doing things to impress others is not true obedience, i.e. it is not actions that come out of love for another i.e. for another's gain or benefit - but action for my gain. 

This is action to get something for myself, not action to give something of myself.

For example, the Bible says the plowing of the wicked is sin. But how can plowing ever be wrong? It is a wholesome and honorable activity, right?

If we believe we reap the benefits of plowing solely because of our independent efforts and do not recognize God enabled us to plow - i.e He gave us our mind, body, tools, and, skills to plow, plus our time, strength, health, and every resource needed to perform a task, etc. then our plowing only honors us, only takes care of us, and brings praise to us, not God who enabled us to plow. If He didn't give us minds, hands, breath, and life there would be no plowing or anything else. In short, we do not understand or acknowledge that God is the provider and giver of everything necessary to perform a task.

In this scenario, our gain and benefit is the reason we plow - i.e. our "why" - not God's honor or acting out of love for Him. 

Therefore, it is an act of arrogance, i.e. rebellious independence from and distrust in God. It is an attempt to gain for ourselves what can only legitimately and truly be accomplished because of God's generous provisions needed to perform a task. 

This may seem severe on the surface, since we may not think of God at all. But that is exactly the problem. We do not recognize that all we are and have - our very life and breath - is a gift from God. 

We assume conduct is good merely by the external action. However, God looks at our heart and the intent behind our actions i.e. is it for self-care and bringing praise to me or to honor God (bring attention to God, not us) out of love for Him because He honored us by sending Christ to restore us to a right relationship with Him.

For a further discussion of what a good deed is click here.

Good deeds?

What are good deeds?

Do all "good" deeds come from the same place; a place of love? Can the exact same deed come from a place of wholeness by one person and a place of need by another? And if it comes out of ²need is it truly a loving deed?

Truly good deeds that come from a heart of love have ¹no strings attached. The doer of such deeds is only interested in the deeds being gratefully received.

But this is not because the doer needs it to be gratefully received for themself. But because it confirms the deed helped the recipient as intended to i.e. to show love.

Such deeds are not designed to manipulate others to meet their own need for love.

Deeds done out of a need for love are actually done under the guise of giving. Such deeds do not come out of love but out of a need for love and affirmation gained through their good deeds. This is giving of a sort but only superficially i.e. on the outside.

Truly good deeds are intended to give love and also enjoy receiving it as well. It is who were designed to be as bearers of God's image. But receiving isn't the motive for this kind of action. Love is i.e. giving not receiving.

Deeds done to fill a need in us is giving to get love. This comes out of a need for love, not from a place of love. It comes from emptiness (lack of love) not fullness. Therefore it is not truly giving, but ²taking.

This need only exists because of our disconnection from our Designer and Creator who is the source of life, love, and all things. We can not be truly loving if we are not plugged in to the Source of love.

If we accept God's love extended to us through Christ we shift from being takers of love to givers but not until then.

"Abide in me, and I in you. As the branch cannot bear fruit by itself, unless it abides in the vine, neither can you, unless you abide in me. I am the vine; you are the branches. Whoever abides in me and I in him, he it is that bears much fruit, for apart from me you can do nothing."

- John 15:4-5

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Footnotes:

¹good deeds are not enough. But deeds done out of love. This is why love is not easily offended. It comes out of fullness not need...

"If I speak in the tongues of men and of angels, but have not love, I am a noisy gong or a clanging cymbal. 

And if I have prophetic powers, and understand all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have all faith, so as to remove mountains, but have not love, I am nothing. If I give away all I have, and if I deliver up my body to be burned, but have not love, I gain nothing. 

Love is patient and kind; love does not envy or boast; it is not arrogant or rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful; it does not rejoice at wrongdoing, but rejoices with the truth. Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things...

So now faith, hope, and love abide, these three; but the greatest of these is love." - 1 Cor 13:1-7, 13 

²this is not to say such deeds are never helpful, but in time we may find they have clear strings attached which may cause us to have to detach from those who "love" in this way.