seeking comfort

Seeking comfort-pleasure is merely the flip side of avoiding pain. This is a clue that pain is the true underlying state of our present condition.

Why are we drawn to comfort? Through it, we gain a sense of importance - significance - value. To not have a sense of these is ¹painful.

We are also drawn to anything that gives comfort because it makes us feel we have control over our pain. And to some degree we do, but only temporarily.

We prefer control and resist dependence with everything that is in us. We don't like trusting and, depending on anything we don't control. Dependence gives us a feeling of weakness. We don't like being weak. We avoid anything that makes us feel inadequate or insufficient – to experience this is ¹painful. We are drawn to anything that makes us feel strong and significant - in control.

Yet, ironically, there is value in weakness and failure. It is a reality check. It helps us realize our limits – how weak and dependent we truly are. It causes us to consider that ultimately we must rely on God to be all we were designed to be. 

It also makes us consider that wanting what we most need but do not fully have yet, is not available in this life. This causes us to think beyond this life. 

For those who trust in God, this is also a reminder we won't have all we are designed for until we are fully united with our Creator in eternity, i.e. until we are glorified -- the true and ultimate state of existence we were designed for.
 

Longing is painful

We all long for a greater sense of meaning and purpose. However, this longing is painful. It speaks of something missing. The greater the longing, the greater the pain.

But, the more we enter into the pain of longing, the more we increase our capacity to experience God in all His glory – what we are ultimately created for. This is true now but even more importantly, in eternity. Therefore, we should not avoid our longings or seek to satisfy them temporarily by our independent efforts, but let them press us closer to God.

For a fuller discussion of “the anatomy of pain” click here.

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¹We weren’t designed to feel insignificant but important. This is a necessary part of our makeup so we might participate in a relationship with the most significant-important Being in the Universe – the Creator and Sustainer of all things. For further discussion, click here and here. 

Because this relationship is severed – by our choice – our self-image is severely damaged and extremely fragile. We are constantly looking to ease the pain of this damage and protect ourselves.

This is why we are so easily influenced by the labels others give to us, both positive and negative? The more significant another person and our relationship with them are – such as a parent, a coach, a mentor, a leader, a spouse or some other person of influence etc. – the more impact their words have on how we see ourselves – i.e. our self-image.

However, the only opinion-identity that matters ultimately is the one given to us by our Creator, the most significant person of all.  We are the beloved sons and daughters of God, loved in the same way the Father loves his only begotten Son.  If the most important being in all the universe -- the Creator and Sustainer of all things -- considers us this valuable that is saying something most significant about us vs. what anybody else says. "If God is for us who can be against us?..."